Will There be a Reconciliation? – Feedback from The Querant

Below is the response from The Querant in relation to the Reading I posted for her on Monday The 23rd of February. 

Dear Querant,

Thank you so much for providing me with Feedback from the Reading I did for you on Monday. Now that a two-way flow of communication has opened up, so too have the Cards and their Stories. There is now so much more to see in this Reading and I have a few suggestions to make after reading your response. (see below Querant’s response)

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With the 3 card reading, the Four of Swords in the past position is on point. It was a pretty dramatic end, a lot of bad feelings involved and it indeed was built up over a long period of time. I was feeling insecure about how/if it was developing in the right direction because the lack of communication, consistency and effort was building up for a long time. The other person involved asked me for a second chance and when the opportunity was handed and still no major effort was put in after so many promises, I knew I had to say goodbye even though deep inside that wasn’t what I really wanted. I just couldn’t go on with never knowing where I stand with this person. I wasn’t being a priority and there were too many excuses for this.

What also came between us was the distance. We live in the same country but a couple of hours away from each other and we just couldn’t seem to figure out how to make things work because of that. I am thinking about visiting the other persons city in about a month and I don’t know if I should reach out and say this because we ended on such a bad note.

The Hermit in present position also makes sense because I do feel lonely. I gave my all into this and after everything went down hill, I’ve felt lost. I do understand and agree that I need to be alone for a while and just learn how to not be so dependent on someone else/needing someone else. More time to just reflect and get some ”fresh air” is needed if we decide to ever enter each other lives again, or perhaps to realize that we need to stay away.

For the outcome, I know there will be only be a reconciliation if we decide to not let the distance get in the way and if big changes are made. I’ve got a lot of trust issues now because of the broken promises that was made and we can only reconcile if the other person proves that things will never go back to the way the were and steps up to the plate.

For the 10 card reading, you’re right when you say that others consider it an inappropriate match and there is much opposition to this relationship. This is because I wasn’t treated fairly. I’ve got a lot of ”You deserve so much better”, ”You’re worth so much more than this” etc.

I don’t know how to precisely interpret Page of Wands as current influences. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m thinking about visiting the other persons city and if I should mention it, which is risky because of everything that has happened, as I mentioned before?

When it comes to obstacles in this reading I am wondering if the Queen of Swords-card is about me? This is because I recognize myself when you say ”…sharp edge of her tongue on many occasions” (when I had enough) and ”If there is something going on and The Queen of Swords finds out, there will be hell to pay for she will drive her Sword into all involved.” But I also have to say that I know the other person is the real obstacle because I haven’t done anything severe to mess up the relationship, I knew that I was trying my best the whole time and I wanted the other person to do the same.

The Three of Swords coming in for past influences echoes the Four of Swords in the previous reading, just like you said, so it makes sense.

The Ace of Swords in the goals and destiny position is also on point about wanting to sever ties and connections that stand in the way of this relationship.

”There is a need for people around the Querant; family and friends to give their blessing” is correct because if me and the other person were to ever enter each others lives again there is a lot that has to be proven. They’ve been seeing how much I’ve been hurting and don’t want to see me this way again. The Eight of Swords representing the influences of family and friends is precise.

Everything about the Queen of Cups represents me; I do love happy endings so it isn’t strange that I’m asking about a possible reconciliation.

The Page of Swords in the hopes and fears position is definitely talking about my insecurity, a sense of paranoia and suspicion.

The Magician for the outcome is a bit unclear just like the situation itself. Of course I hope this is positive and suggests plans and ideas manifesting in the real world, but I do realize that I need to take of my rose-tinted glasses. Just because I wish for things to turn around and for it to be a happy ending doesn’t mean it will necessarily happened. I cannot make a person change for the better and ”make things right” if the person has no desire to do so. At the end of the day all I want is to be treated right. Time will only tell how this will go but as for right now I know I need time to myself. If this isn’t meant to work out then I know something much better is waiting for me.

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Love Reading – Querant asks about The Ten of Cups reflecting a possible reconciliation. (see cards below)

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My Response to Querant’s Feedback

I mentioned that I believed there might be a third person in this relationship and now I see there is. Your suggestion that The Queen of Swords may be representing you because there have been many angry words and accusations is probably correct. Her tongue has been sharpened and her jaw tensed. This personality is a far cry from the lovely, peace-loving nature of The Queen of Cups who you readily identify with. What I believe has happened is that you have begun to adopt the sub-personality of The Queen of Swords. When The Queen of Cups is emotionally hurt she can retreat into her shell and lick her wounds or she can turn angry and cold. It is then she begins to resemble The Queen of Swords. I sense that you have been forced to flick into this state because of a lack of response from your ex-partner. You say he was making no effort, that you did all the work, but that when you confronted him with the notion of you leaving, he begged for a second chance? The Queen of Cups readily appeared, and with her good heart and trusting nature, was more than willing to oblige. she certainly wants her relationship to work and is not known to be a quitter in this area.

However, your ex-partner continued on in the same manner, making no effort to deal with the issues you had raised. The Hermit being represented as this man, tells me he that deep down, he is a loner and not well equipped for being in a relationship. He thinks in the solo sense too much, and may not see you as someone who needs to be taken into consideration. I do not think he actually means the harm he is causing. The sad thing is that he has allowed a lovely woman such as yourself to fall in love with him and he does not seem to have a clue as to how to reciprocate. The Hermit removes himself from the world and society at will. It appears he has been doing that in your relationship too. The Hermit in his own right is fine and has very strong qualities, but I could not imagine him to be very close in a relationship. The High Priestess has similar tendencies. Both can withdraw at will anytime they choose which can certainly madden their partner. They can disappear into their own world and be very content there for long periods of time. Trying to sense when this disappearing act is about to happen will be quite difficult. At such times, they do not need to communicate or share feelings. It does not mean they do not love their partners, but it takes a very understanding and secure personality to cope with their behaviour. The Page of Swords has entered your life and causes you to question and analyse everything.  The lack of attention and effort you speak of has deeply upset you but I think your sharp tongue has got you no where except for the fact you say he is very angry with you. So you are angry with him and he is angry with you. On top of that you are frustrated because you cannot get him to appreciate how deeply he has hurt you. He may be angry because he liked the patient, caring and tolerant Queen of Cups much more than he likes the forceful, demanding Queen of Swords side of you. He may have agreed anything with her just to get her offside for a bit. From what you say, it is a lot of hard work.

You speak of the physical distance that separates you.  Two hours away from each other. This brings The Hermit back once more to symbolise the remoteness involved. I wonder how often you used to see each other? What did you do when he was not around and vice versa? With The Hermit, I see the single man who may not understand what exactly it is you want of him. Certainly The Page of Wands suggests you wanting to travel to his city but The Page of Swords brings in your doubt and insecurity about doing so. You stress over whether you should go or not and whether you should let him know in advance. The Page of Wands side of you has built up a lot of momentum behind this idea and is putting a very positive spin on the whole thing. I can sense you wanting badly to go, even excited as the date approaches. I see you determined to meet up with him and that you will be very light-hearted and fun to be around. You want to make a good impression, want him to respond to you. You are also very determined that there be no scenes should you meet, no accusations or the dragging up of old issues. This could be a chance for both of you to apologise and make up. You just have to keep the encounter in a safe zone where no triggers will set off. The Page of Swords brings worry about outbursts, and also bad news.

The Queen of Swords stands between The Page of Wands and The Hermit. I sense that she may be forced out her temporary retirement. The Page of Wands could very easily build up his hopes too much and get too optimistic about this possible encounter. If it does not goes well, or the offer to meet is declined, there may be an outpouring of angry words. You will need to think carefully about this plan as The Page of Wands is known to make impulsive decisions. If you are determined to go, then I think it would be best to contact him in advance to see if he is open to the idea of meeting with you. Turning up on his doorstep brings to mind The Adele song ‘Someone Like You’ when she sings, ‘I guess you’d see my face and that you would be reminded that for me, it isn’t over’.      

Saying all this, with The Three of Swords, Ace of Swords and Two of Cups this meeting you propose could be what is needed to draw a line under the situation. If he receives you well and is eager to have you back in his life, then he must also be eager to reconcile the issues that forced you apart in the first place. If he wasn’t treating you properly, how does he intend to put this right from here on in? Will he be open to discussion, or will he just want to brush all the bad times aside. The Three of Swords tells me that honest communication between each other is vital now. Grievances need to be aired on both sides in a calm and controlled manner.

The Ace of Swords shows the double-edged sword, meaning that there are two sides to every story. The Ace of Swords will be the instrument that ultimately decides the fate of your relationship. It can be used to cut out all the rot and clear the field ahead for a new approach to your relationship, or it can be used to completely sever the ties that have bound you together. The Swords in your past have been used in a negative manner, but The Ace of Swords brings great potential if handled properly. Are you prepared to let it do the necessary work, even if it means the final end? Are you prepared to take the chance or would you prefer to allow the Queen of Cups to linger some time longer, hoping and wishing?

You speak of having trust issues now, even though you do seek a reconciliation. The Queen of Cups will be destroyed from the inside out if she cannot trust the one she is with. She will shrivel up and die if she does not receive love and consideration from the one she is so devoted too. She will make excuses for some time, and accept apology after apology, but even The Queen of Cups has her limit and it sounds like you have reached yours. You say the only way a reconciliation can happen is if you find a way to cope with the distance involved, but most importantly that big changes have to be made. It seems that you are making a huge effort once more, reaching out and preparing to forgive.  You do not mention your ex partner making any effort to contact you.

You say your friends and family are concerned and feel that you deserve much better than this man. They say that you are too good for him. They are the people who know you best. They must have watched you for a long time and are probably worried about the sadness and hurt you carry within. Have they been shocked by the angry outbursts of The Queen of Swords? Were they aware of her presence in  your personality before? Have you changed for the better, or has the relationship hardened you. Are they speaking the truth? Are you indeed too good for him? Do you too believe you deserve better? What is it about this person that attracts and draws you when pain and hurt is the reward? You may need to ask yourself if it is possible The Magician has put a spell on you, metaphorically speaking off course?  Do you not see what your friends and family claim to see in him? Who is right and who is wrong? I need to ask you also what you see in yourself? What standards have you set in your relationships? Where do you draw the line with behaviour? How healthy is your self-esteem and self-respect?

The Magician in your Outcome worries me from the point of view that I believe he will be able to win you over one way or another. There will be a tendency to accept all apologies and believe the good intentions he will declare. He could have you eating out of his hand. You want this reconciliation very badly, when many others would view it as a lucky escape and want to put all the pain behind them. It is of course up to you, but I think you are going to damned if you do and damned if you don’t right now. What you need to do is give yourself more time. The Queen of Cups loves being in love and will seek a partner. The Queen of Swords values her own time and privacy. She can be quite content and happy on her own. You also badly need to know where you stand once and for all. Somewhere you need to find a balance between the two. Your life is on pause at present. Maybe you do need to rock the boat (by turning up at his door) to see if the relationship will sink or swim My vote would be to use The Ace of Swords to sever ties and get on with your life. It should be your ex-partner seeking you out and not the other way around. Once more you are the one making the effort while he just has to sit and wait for you to appear. In fact, as The Magician, he can conjure you up at will, and hey presto you appear.  With The Magician as a reflection of yourself in this situation you say that you understand you cannot change someone and make things better just because you want them to be so. You wish that there was a magic wand that could do this for you. You are working hard at arriving at a level of acceptance and this is a very good sign.

On another side altogether, I wonder if you have considered some form of counselling with regards to this relationship. From what you say about your family and friends, they seem to view it as toxic. Maybe you need to explore the reasons why you are involved in this manner. Have you had relationships like this in the past? You may need help with some inner-work.

I do hope it all works out for you and that you receive the loving relationship you deserve and need.  Please do confide in one of your friends or a close family member should you decide to go ahead with your plan. You may need some loving support. They also need to know where you are.

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Four of Swords         The Hermit                    Ten of Cups

A Previous Reading from The Querant about Same Subject -Love and Reconciliation

Page of Wands            Queen of Swords      The Hermit

Current Influences     Obstacles    Past Foundations

The Three of Swords  The Ace of Swords    The Two of Cups 

Past Events               Goals and Destiny       Future

The Queen of Cups   The Eight of Swords   The Page of Swords

Querant                 Friends and Family   Hopes and Fears 

The Magician

Final Outcome

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