(Card Descriptions Based On Original Rider-Waite Colors – Still Under US Games Inc. Copyright)
When The Lovers reverse communication breaks down or the wrong message is sent or received. They no longer are true to each other and loyalty may disappear which might result in infidelity. Dysfunctional relationships are suggested and sexual problems may be causing issues in your relationship. Instead of love bringing the man and woman together, it now destroys them. Imbalance and disharmony set in and in the reversed aspect domination or bullying may be found. Sex could be used as weapon or as a method of control. Unhealthy sexual relationships can be highlighted. Jealousy and possessiveness may govern the relationship.
When The Lovers reverses there may be a reluctance to commit or an avoidance of taking the relationship to the next level or stage. There may be a history of dumping a partner as soon as it starts to get serious. Separations and divorce are also associated with The Lovers reversed but surrounding cards would need to back this up.
In The Reversed Lovers we can find the woman going within or looking to spirit for answers. She may discover that the relationship has changed or no longer fulfills her emotional needs. She may look for a way out. Likewise, the flames on The Tree of Life may ignite The Man’s animal desires and he may look elsewhere for sexual gratification.
The couple represented by The Lovers Reversed, no longer know how to make each other happy and have lost their spiritual connection. It might be that they prefer the heady romantic stage of a relationship only to find that it fades after a period of time. Not allowing the relationship to grow and move on to its next level and depth, it breaks down and is replaced by another until once more that honeymoon period is over . The novelty of new relationships is preferred and a pattern of bailing out before things get too serious may be evident. An honest examination of your relationships, their history and pattern is necessary. However, as a couple, you may feel that the time is not right or that you are too young to commit to anything more.
The Lovers Reversed often suggests low self-esteem and a lack of love for oneself which may be the root cause of relationship problems. Your own sense of self-worth may be mirrored by the way your partner treats you. Because The Lovers usually represent the adolescence stage of growth it may suggest in the reversed that one of you is immature. You may be idealising love or the idea of a relationship and the perfect partner.
Your secret admirer in the Reversed Lovers may have problems communicating their feelings to you or do not know how to approach you. Maybe you need to take your head out of the clouds and look around you and then you may notice them. However, the secret admirer in the reversed Lovers could turn into a stalker or at the very least an unwelcome suitor who just won’t get the hint. Again this may be a simple case of unrequited love. Disagreements and misunderstandings abound due to lack of communication.
Because this is a card dealing with sexuality, The Lovers reversed loses its connection with spirit and sexual activity descends into promiscuity and immoral behaviour. Sexual misconduct, affairs and temptations of the flesh are highlighted. On the other hand The Heirophant’s over zealous and sanctimonious nature may be influencing a decision to remain celibate in a relationship until the right partner is found. Again, the need to look to surrounding cards for validation is important.
The Lovers appearing reversed may suggest that now is not the right time to move forward in whatever situation you are in. It may be down to poor timing or reluctance on your part.