The Relationship Spread

The Relationship Spread – From Both Points of View

For this Reading to be of any benefit, it is essential that The Querant or the One doing the Enquiring be as Open and Accepting to whatever the Cards Reveal. Very often when starting out in a Relationship, or when a certain Stage has been reached, there may be some concern or confusion as to whether your Partner has the same outlook for the Relationship as you do. Do they envisage entering into a long-term commitment with you or have they other plans, plans that possibly do not include you?

This Reading is also useful for when you are in two minds about entering a Relationship with a certain other, or when there is more than one Partner to choose from. You must remember that nothing is ever 100% accurate in Tarot Reading and is also Subject to Interpretation. If you have a certain mind-set towards your Relationship, or decide to indulge in wishful thinking or idealising about your Relationship, or the Potential of a New One, then you may very well get Cards that will fall nicely in line with your way of thinking. They may be nice and romantic, fulfilling your exact desires, but they may not be based on reality. Therefore try your best to let go of any preconceptions or notions and throw it out to the Universe.

This Reading can reveal confusion in a Relationship between Partners or a lack of proper Communication. Therefore it may highlight areas that need to be brought out into the open. If your Reading shows that you see Wedding Bells in your Future and your Partner’s reveals a sense of entrapment or restlessness, then it would be wise to sit down and discuss honestly what both of you are expecting out of the Relationship. Sometimes just talking the issues over can smooth out any areas where there is doubt or concern. If you think your Partner is showing interest in an other, and their Cards reveal total devotion and commitment to you, then you may just be paranoid and certainly this will not have a beneficial effect on the time you spend with each other.

Do not get overly concerned with what comes up in the Reading as you are bound to be anxious when asking such questions about your Partner and your Relationship. I had a client very recently who had one of those enviable problems. She had three guys interested in her and she wanted to see which out of the three might be the most suitable to go for. She was looking for a Steady, Stable Relationship, and not just a fling or short-lived affair, so she didn’t want to waste her time on a guy who would not be around for long. We did three separate Readings for each Guy after picking a Significator for Each. We took note of the Significator and then put the Cards back in The Deck. For Each Reading we Cleared the Deck of The Previous Reading Energy and also made sure that any Reversed Cards had been Uprighted. We then Shuffled and Reversed a  Few while asking the following Question. 

First Shuffle and Selection of Cards is for Yourself/Querant – The Potential of a Loving Relationship From Querant’s Point of View. Draw Five Cards and Place them Face Down in Front of You. 

Cleanse and Upright The Cards Once More before Shuffling (Remember to Reverse a Few) while asking the same Question but now – The Potential of a Loving Relationship from Your Partner’s Point of View. Make sure to name the Person in full for extra clarity as Partner could also refer to a business partner. Also be very clear in your intention that the Relationship is one of Love and Romance. Draw Five Cards and Place them Face Down in Front of You. 

If you do not wish to exclude any Cards from the Second Set of Five, then you can use Two Decks, one for The Querant and one For the Partner. 

When you are ready turn over the First Five Cards and Read these before turning over the Second Line of Five Cards. If you turn them all over at the same time, it will be very hard to stay focussed. When both Lines have been analysed and compared, it should hopefully map out the Relationship from both points of view. You may discover that you are lovingly singing from the  Same Hymn Sheet, are Completely Out of Tune or just have to do a little Practice before you can both sing in Harmony.  Extra Cards can be drawn for clarification.

The Relationship from the Querant’s  Point of View

Blank Card   Blank Card    Blank Card    Blank Card    Blank Card

1                2                   3                   4                  5

The Relationship from the Partner’s Point of View

Blank Card   Blank Card    Blank Card    Blank Card    Blank Card

1                2                   3                   4                  5

Card 1 – The Origins of The Relationship (How it All Started)

Card 2 – Where Relationship is Coming From (Immediate Past)

Card 3 – Where The Relationship is at Present

Card 4 – Where The Relationship is heading in the Near Future

Card 5 – How The Relationship Ultimately Evolves

Example –

Background –

Q.  I used to go out with Johnny years ago when we were in High School,but he then went to college overseas. We did write for some time but it eventually ceased. To be honest I hadn’t thought about him in ages but last week I bumped into him on the street. He looks great and we hugged and everything. He asked me to join him for a drink this week. Since I met him I just can’t stop thinking about him and am panicking about what I should wear when I see him next. I wonder how he feels about me after all this time?

The Relationship From Querant’s Point of View

Significator – Page of Cups Upright

6 of Cups Upright    3 of Wands Rx    6 of Wands Upright   Ace of Cups   2 of Cups

The Relationship From Potential Partner’s Point of View

Significator Querant Chose for  Partner –  Knight of Cups Upright

3 of Pentacles Upright    8 of Wands Upright   3 of Cups Upright   2 of Wands Upright   Knight of Wands Upright

                                                    7 of Cups   Queen of Pentacles Upright

Extra Cards Position 4 Seven of Cups,  and Positions 5 The Queen of Pentacles

Have a look at The Reading Above and see if you can work out whether this Relationship has any Future Potential or Not.

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Copyright © 2006-2014 Vivien Ní Dhuinn


6 replies »

  1. Hi Vivien!
    Firstly, just wanted to say thank you for your time and energy on this blog — it’s got so much useful information 🙂
    So instead of immediate past and how it originated, I asked how he felt and thought about me when we FIRST met. I tried this out because I thought it would be super easy to figure out because we had such a lovely time and he was very clearly interested in the beginning. There was no ambiguity.
    So when I asked how he felt about me at the beginning, I got 2 of pentacles and 4 of cups. And what he thought of me, I got death and 5 of swords reversed. This was shocking and left me confused because I was expecting something light and positive.
    Any thoughts on that? How would you interpret these two?


    • Hi Nur,

      Now this is interesting because I can see where you might feel shocked by such cards. It may be just one of those readings that is best discarded as you feel the cards are way off. Something about Death and The Five of Swords hits me. Was this person getting over a very bad time in his life? If so, he may see you as someone who has helped him move on or let go. He may not have shared this information with you but he might be seeing you as his chance to find happiness. Has he spoken to you of his past? If there something big there, he may not want to burden you with it. These are quite strong cards. They either mean something, or absolutely nothing. Your reading may be tainted, or one of those readings that makes no sense whatsoever. When asking the cards about how other people feel, they are not always obliging. You might need to rephrase your question.

      Don’t worry about that reading unless similar cards are turning up regularly. Some days are just off when drawing cards and the best advice is to step away from them when it happens.




      • Thanks for your response, Vivien 🙂
        The thing is, all (or almost all) of the other cards in the rest of the spread made sense! So I was bewildered with these first two.
        Could the 2 of pentacles & 4 of cups mean he thought I was lighthearted/well-grounded and emotionally stable? He later on revealed that he thought I was challenging/hard to get (in a good way). So I guess it could also mean a challenge while keeping his emotions in check and not get carried away with someone who seems like a challenge/very busy in their own life.
        This was a very recent past romantic situation I was involved in and honestly, I don’t know his past, so it’s very likely that perhaps he had a difficult situation but didn’t tell me. I do know for a fact he had a girlfriend a couple of months before he met me, which was completely over. But maybe he is not over it or something. I also do know for a fact that he does have difficulty dealing with his emotions. We separated ways due to external circumstances (I was moving to another country) and a tarot reader had told me that he was controlling his emotions and dealt with things in a very pragmatic way. So he showed no vulnerability when I was leaving. This hurt me a great deal but I comforted myself acknowledging that I don’t truly know him beyond a couple of months together and the professional tarot reader’s reading was incredibly helpful/insightful for understanding things better. So, perhaps I will never know. But your explanation is also very helpful! I had an inclination that maybe it means some painful situation is over but I was confused because that doesn’t tell me how he felt about me specifically but more so his circumstances. Thank you for your interpretation and feedback.


      • Hi Nur,

        Sorry, I thought you were askig about Death and Reversed Five of Swords only. As for the potential interpretation I gave re those two cards, I feel his lack of emotion or vulnerability when you were leaving may be something he deliberately projected to block himself from feeling sad. With the Five of Swords Reversed he is dealing with the Death of the relationship in a very controlled manner. The Five of Swords Reversed could be showing a feigned or forced coolness. I feel there may be a story behind his attitude when you were leaving. He might be afraid to be emotional as a result of a previous experience. I suppose you will never know unless you ask. Did the relationship end completely after you moved or are you still in contact? You could subtlety bring it up in conversation. Perhaps he did not want to stand in your way, or hold you back so he appeared the way he did when you were leaving.

        As for the Four of Cups and Two of Pentacles, he seems to have seen you as a person who had plans for her life, and were steadily working towards them. Yes, you can see the busyness of the Two of Pentacles. Perhaps he thought you so totally preoccupied with your goals that you would not have time for him. If you are the Two of Pentacles then he might be the Four of Cups who found it hard to get your attention as it was focused elsewhere. That is why he might have found you challenging, hard to get in a way. This of course may have only been his perception of you, and not based on fact at all. If so, he might see you on a complete different level to him. The Death and Reversed Five of Swords could show a fatalistic attitude he had about the relationship, as in he never thought it would last. Did he always know you would be going away? Would he be in some way angry about that and perhaps showed no vulnerablity as a way of getting you back for leaving? We all deal with separation differently.

        I do hope you are settling into your new home and environment.




  2. Hi Vivien,
    Well, we weren’t in an official relationship because he knew I was leaving. HOWEVER, we only knew that I had to leave about a month after we first started seeing each other. So these initial cards were drawn with the intention of gauging how he felt before. Because I had later on asked how did him finding out I had to leave affect the way he saw me and it was the king of swords reversed — which ties in well with your interpretations (emotionally unavailable from that point onward although it didn’t seem like it on the surface). We’re in touch in a very casual way but as far as a ‘relationship’ goes, that has ended sadly because he really does not seem to want to open up emotionally, although he is a very nice person. You’re absolutely right that we all deal with separation differently — which is why I couldn’t understand for the life of me how he could behave the way he did after being so warm and caring 🙂 He follows his head and I follow my heart so even if I understand this on an intellectual level, I still felt so baffled. The tarot has really helped immensely to gain more clarity and helped me grow as a result. And your added perspective helps a lot too.
    Thank you — I am slowly settling in 🙂
    Best blessings,


    • P.S. Forgot to mention I also got the 3 of swords reversed when asked what I need to know about his detached response when I poured out my honest feelings. So I interpreted that as controlling his emotions and not wanting to speak about this further. And how he felt — tower reversed and 3 of cups which I interpreted as again, not wanting to confront something and avoiding/escaping it by socialising with his friends.


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