The extracts below are taken from The Wands’ Encyclopedia of Love & Sex – Installment 2 which features The Three and Four of Wands. These are just a  tiny selection of interpretations available from the current Installment, which can be applied to Love, Romance, Relationships and Sex in Tarot Readings.

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The Three of Wands

Where to Find Love

If you are simply having no luck finding the love of your life, you may need to be more expansive in your search. Socialising in the same circles and venues is not delivering the results you desire. You may have to look further afield but this could involve deliberate effort on your part. This card can suggest that love will be found, not in your normal stamping ground, but outside your current environment. You may have to move out of your comfort zone, mix in different social circles, join groups/clubs, or travel. You must go out to meet love and not expect it to come searching for you. The Three of Wands is all about being proactive. Get moving.

A Relationship With Good Prospects

In a relationship spread the Three of Wands is a positive card as it suggests growth and development.  Things are certainly beginning to heat up. A fledgling relationship may be developing into something more. A mutual understanding between partners has come about. You can realistically set expectations about the continuity of a relationship. Any doubts or concerns about feelings or commitment to each other have passed. You can now start planning as a couple as you see a positive future for the relationship. It is okay to talk about ‘us’ without worry of misreading signals or getting ahead of yourself. It is likely as a couple you have decided you both want the same things. You are singing from the same hymn sheet and stand united as a couple.

Moving To The Next Level

In The Three of Wands, we find a couple who have either moved past the indecision and uncertainty of The Two, or bypassed it altogether if they experienced love at first sight in the Ace. Partners feel very sure of each other and are secure in making plans for their future together. The Three of Wands can mark the moment you realise you want to include the person you have met in your full life, and not just on occasions when you meet for dates. Your relationship has grown nicely out of the Ace. You feel blessed with luck. Now we find partners being invited or welcomed into each other’s family as introductions are made. You encourage your friends to get to know your partner, instead of keeping them at arm’s length. You wouldn’t do this unless you believed your partner to be sticking around, a keeper. You want to share your world with your partner and vice versa.

You could be planning your first vacation away, or spending longer periods of time together. You are getting a better feel for each other, discovering more and more about your personalities. What you discover is better than expected.  You could be seeing your partner in a whole new light as their world opens before you. You have a very good feeling about the future.

Focusing On Career, Not Relationships

Because of The Wands connection and association with career, enterprise and ambition, we must look at how this might influence their approach or attitude to love and relationships. In the Three, we might be looking at an individual who has their sights set, not on love, but their career instead. They may not see the two being compatible in this instance. This card could be suggesting you are loved up with your job, studies, or career ambition. You might be launching a business or new enterprise which is excitement enough without throwing in the complications of navigating a relationship or possible demanding partner. You have enough on your plate with what you are doing. This is the person who is happy to work 24/7, when they choose, where they choose, and for as long as they choose. Having a partner in the background who wants to pin them to times and dates may prove too stressful. They need much freedom to work in. This is not to say that he/she will not be averse to the odd encounter, or rendezvous. On the contrary, they do need this form of release when a brief disconnect or chill out from work is required. However, they will find equal enjoyment going on a hike with friends, working out in the gym, or surfing the waves. Their encounters are often with people who are like-minded, have the same needs and wants, but without any strings attached.

If you are seeking a relationship with an individual who you know to be very tied up in their career, the appearance of this card could be highlighting where you might fit in their life. Are you the Wand that stands behind, having to be content with the crumbs of attention from their table, or are you the Wand that stands beside but apart, happy to enjoy their company when you can, but being able to manage without it. Surrounding cards should give evidence of a career-oriented person who may not have much to offer a person who is looking for a deeply committed relationship.

Looking at this from another point of view, the appearance of this card when you are struggling to build a career, business or finish studies could be telling you to fully focus on the job or task at hand. Trying to manage a relationship at the same time could dilute your concentration. You may regret not giving your full attention to work or career, especially if the relationship you sacrificed it for, does not work out. Perhaps the two don’t mix well for you. You could be one of those ‘all or nothing’ people who will find success in career but at the cost of a relationship, or vice versa. Career wise, this is a very important time for you. You are on the brink of getting somewhere, your journey just begun. Don’t blow it over any superficial distraction. Keep your eye focussed on your goal and do not waver.

Emigration

The Three of Wands often suggests you have decided to emigrate. In the Two we see the strain this caused. It is bound to have been a very difficult decision to make, but now it is done. Friends and family have been informed, and furniture removal truck is on its way. Passports and visas are in order, flights or passage booked, and a new home and job lies waiting for you. Even though there have been tears and intense feelings surrounding the decision, all involved appear to be quite positive about it. There is a sense of adventure. All risk has been assessed, but nothing dreadfully disturbing has presented itself. There is risk involved in all new ventures, but you are ready to embrace a new life. If children are involved, there may be a sense of going on holidays for them. Depending on their age, they may not fully comprehend the significance of the move, and how it will impact their life. For older children, there may be issues with leaving friends and schools behind. For couples, there is a chance one partner is more enthusiastic than the other, even if they are putting on a brave face. However, as a family, they are in it together. A new future beckons, and they must follow.

Foreign Appeal

Meeting, or dating someone from another nationality (foreigner) is strongly highlighted in the Three of Wands. In fact, all your previous relationships may have been with someone of another nationality. In The Ace of Wands we explored the idea of being specifically attracted to someone not of your own nationality. There was a draw to foreign locations, its people, culture and language. In the Three of Wands this is reiterated. There is a growing interest in travelling further away from home in search of love. There could be an attraction for a certain part of the world. You might feel more at home in another country than you do in your own. You might believe you lived a previous life there.  You might seek work overseas, learn a new language, and desire integration. Home does not hold much appeal for you. Family and friends have known this for some time and will not be surprised should you announce your decision to leave, or hear that you have met someone from another country. You desire to embrace new experiences.

There is a multi-cultural vibe to this card. Be open to friendships and partnerships with people of different cultures. Attend multi-cultural events, mingle and make some new friends. Be curious about foreign places, their people, food, music, customs and traditions. There is a possibility of meeting someone special while travelling or on holidays. Work related travel or working abroad, could easily bring you into the company of some interesting people. Perhaps you have already met, or worked with someone while overseas and desire to return. This card can also suggest you developing global friendships and relationships via online dating or social media sites.

Holiday Romance

The Three of Wands carries an energy of engaging in romance, flirtations and rendezvous while on vacation. There is an air of light heartedness, about not taking any encounter too seriously. The emphasis is on freedom, fun, sea, sand and lots of socialising. You certainly intend on enjoying yourself.

Online Dating

Just like the Two of Wands, Internet dating or making relationship connections on social media can be suggested by The Three of Wands. In the Three, we see you being very proactive in your search and are quite determined to meet someone. Your reasons for using the internet to find a partner could vary. Your location could be awkward when it comes to socialising. You may live in a very small community or have exhausted your search in your own circles. You might prefer to connect with someone from overseas. You may be fed up or unimpressed with what is on offer locally. You could be shy about meeting people face to face.  This card augurs well for making interesting connections, but unless there are other strong relationship cards in the spread, The Three of Wands can simply represent online dating itself.

There is also the sense of keeping relationships at a safe distance in this card. You can dip in and out as you please without having to give too much commitment. You may prefer to manage your relationships in this manner. It might be all you need right now. You could be keeping your options open. You are casting your net far and wide when this card appears. This is a positive card when Upright, so no harm is being caused and all involved are happy to communicate in this manner. With a bit of luck, you will strike gold and love will blossom.

Planning a Wedding

The lovely Three of Wands can suggest the planning of a marriage and all that it entails. This activity is very much welcomed. A renewed energy bursts forth as Fire expands and creates great enthusiasm and motivation. You may be looking around for a suitable venue for the wedding, possibly thinking about getting married abroad, or booking an exotic destination for your honeymoon. Nothing is definite at this stage but the search has started. The Three of Wands is a card that takes us out of our own environment and encourages us to explore our options. Here we find a couple doing their research online, making appointments with banqueting personnel, or hiring the services of a wedding coordinator. As a couple, you are putting your best foot forward and are excited about the venture ahead. However, there will be a dominant partner who will seek the main control in the management of wedding arrangements. It is unlikely to cause problems as this is a very sunny card. Partners are in good humour with each other.

If you have already set a date to tie the knot, the Three of Wands can suggest the challenge of deciding who to invite. You may have several overseas guests to factor in. You may be in the process of sending out invitations or waiting for RSVP’s in the post or by email. Fire does like to maintain a forward momentum. The number three suggests progress and development, yet the figure is motionless. He stands at the top of the hill or edge of the cliff. He has set the wheels in motion, sent out his invitations, or other relevant requests, and for the moment can do no more. There may be a period of waiting and watching before the next step can be taken. He cannot act until he receives vital information from the ships that sail below.

Fully Over Your Ex

You thought it would never happen. He/she filled your every waking tormented thoughts for weeks and months. You felt your world had come to an end, that you would never recover from the trauma but here you are, moving steadily and positively away from all the heartbreak. The Three of Wands is here to declare that you have survived and are indeed, 100% over your ex. You are able to stand up again, get out and about, and rely on yourself for company. It hasn’t destroyed you at all. Indeed, it may have even strengthened you. There is a return of energy and a desire to boldly go forth into life once more. Of course, you cannot erase the past, it will always be there and can be recalled as long as your memory holds out, but it no longer has power over you. You are free to come and go, date or not, and it doesn’t bother you at all. You are experiencing a renewed sense of purpose and curiosity in life once more. You had forgotten that side to you. For those going through the trauma of separation after the Two, The Three of Wands in a Future or Outcome Position shows you recovered and moving on with your life.

Ambitious Love

The Three of Wands in a love reading could be showing a growing ambition to find someone of power, rank, or status. You have your sights set in a very definite direction and have turned your back on the rest. You will not be content to settle with just anyone. You want to go somewhere with your life. Therefore, you will be looking for someone with ambition, get-up and go. You don’t want what those around you; friends, and family are settling for. The world is your oyster and you want to get as much out of it as possible. This might see you moving away, or distancing yourself from the social circles you mix in. There is a sense of leaving an old way of life behind in favour of something that better matches the vision of the future you hold. You have decided to move forward in your life and are looking for big things to happen.

This card could be suggesting you need more than love and will be looking to join forces with another who feels the same. You are ready to push the boat out now and test the waters to see how successful you will be. In the Upright, we are generally looking at someone who is ambitious in their own right. They are working towards a better future than the life they have at present, through hard work, study etc. They seek to better themselves and will be looking for a partner who understands this and is ambitious in their own right. It is only when the Three Reverses that we find a person who wants to move up the ranks on the back of an ambitious or successful partner. This person will want to achieve this by gaining entry through the back door and not on their own merit.

Starting a Family –  Actively Trying for A Baby

Due to the fertility and conception aspect of the Ace of Wands, and the decision-making process of The Two of Wands, The Three of Wands can often suggest a couple actively trying for a baby. You have found the one you want to have a child with. You believe they have the potential to be a great parent. They share the same family values as you. Sex now has an agenda other than physical enjoyment. Fire doesn’t believe in hanging around. Here we find growth and development. There is an enthusiastic move towards expanding on the dynamics of the couple aspect by introducing a third Wand. This usually is a positive indicator for a couple who feel very confident about each other and the future of their relationship. With a new sense of maturity, you may be eager to move your relationship on to the next level by starting your own family. Thoughts of babies, and the joy they might bring, dominate a couple’s energy at present. For some couples this might be the deciding factor in getting married, but not always. Strong fertility is indicated as we observe the Wands firmly planted in the ground, bringing about manifestation and positive results. A couple should encounter few problems in conceiving. This card also suggests opting to have children quite early in the relationship. Generally, it is a mutual understanding. You may not want to wait around.

Positive Approach To Unplanned Pregnancy

If an unplanned pregnancy has occurred, The Three of Wands shows you staying strong and positive. It does not carry an air of despair or shock about it. On the contrary, even though you had not planned for this, it is now the cause of looking at a whole new future and life ahead for you. Your reaction has been positive, perhaps even pleasantly surprised. You will be able to fit this new situation into your life. You now have a lot of things to consider as you get used to your new-found status. If you are single, you have a strong support network around you. Family and friends are there to help so you are not on your own. People are happy for you. It might feel a bit like an adventure, or that you are stepping into uncharted territory, but the feeling is one of excitement and anticipation. You will throw yourself into it 100%.  Congratulations.

If in a relationship, you have the support of your partner who thinks it great news indeed. A curve ball may have been flung at you, but instead of thinking negatively about it, you have decided to run with it. Life is full of surprises and this is one of the better ones. An unplanned pregnancy as such may add stronger momentum to a couple’s journey and life plans. There will be an urge to pull together. Because this is a Minor Arcana Card, there is no guarantee a relationship will work out just because there is a baby on the way. Only time will tell if both partners will thrive with each other under such circumstances. At present, everyone is full of the greatest and most noble of intentions.

Three of Wands Reversed

Inaction

The Three of Wands Reversed can be suggesting you are not making an effort to sort out growing issues in your relationship. Things haven’t been good and are deteriorating further on a weekly basis. You have entered the danger zone, yet fail to take action to prevent disaster. You are either in denial about how bad things are, or couldn’t care less. You are not seeing the bigger picture of what is going on here. There are clouds on the horizon, the sun has lost its heat, leaving a chill in the air. You are not dressed for the weather, presuming it would stay clement. You have not taken any precautions to safeguard against such a situation.

If the fire between the two of you has fizzled out, failure to act could highlight a growing disinterest in continuing the relationship. You may be sitting back waiting for nature to take its course. But, if you are blind to the warning signs and alarm bells, the rug might be pulled out from under your feet. As a couple you are moving backwards, or going downhill. There is a lack of ambition for the relationship, a lack of basic life in it. There is very little to show for the time spent together. With such passivity, a relationship under this influence could continue or drift for some time to come until someone makes a move. Then again, some couples can continue indefinitely in this manner, both not looking for, or expecting much, their relationship on automatic pilot

Then again, you may be fed up with being proactive in your search for love or holding on to the one you have. You may decide to give it up as a bad job. You are adamant you no longer care and have zero interest. You could become pessimistic about love, believing there is no one out there for you. You might adopt a cynical attitude to those who appear to have found love, thinking them delusional fools.

In The Reversed Two, we found a lethargic interest in going out or meeting someone. Things have not improved in The Reversed Three. You moan about finding love, whine about the pathetic pool of suitors available, and dream about the special one who is out there waiting for you.  A bit like those who spend their whole life waiting to win the lotto, you aren’t prepared to make your own luck. However, you do expect the Universe to conspire on your behalf and bring this person to you. You play no part in finding love, and are cynical of others who are proactive in their search.

Plans Thwarted

The Three of Wands Reversed can suggest dreadful frustration for a couple. Plans may be thwarted with continued obstacles and challenges to overcome. Great stamina and fortitude is required. As a couple, you may have set unrealistic goals. You did not foresee the trouble that has landed in your relationship. You may feel less optimistic about your future together. You need to stand united now and show courage.

Coming Unstuck

The Reversed Three of Wands can highlight a relationship becoming unstuck. The glue that held it together is no longer working or is insufficient to keep both parties happy. An incoming storm hits. There is a disconnect and discontent scattering the energy. Partners pull apart from each other in the furore. They might also begin to tear into each other. Rows and disagreements bubble up bringing too much heat to an issue.

A Relationship With No Future /Lack of Growth

Unfortunately, The Reversed Three of Wands does not augur well for budding relationships. Now it might only suggest a temporary incoming storm, a rough patch, but with the number Three reversed, we find a lack of positive development in a relationship.

The Reversed Three of Wands can often represent a relationship that lacks growth. It has failed to progress past the initial stage of the romance and has got stuck somewhere in no-man’s land. It is hard to tell what is going on, other than there seems to be no move in it at all. It’s impossible to get it to the next level. This may be a good or bad thing depending on how one is viewing it and what exactly one wants from the relationship. At times throughout life, we can become involved in relationships with partners who we know from the outset are not what we are looking for long-term. Maybe they are great company and good fun to be around on a casual basis, but not full-time.

One must kiss many a frog before one finds a Prince or Princess among them. This is dating and mating and brings us back to The Upright Two of Wands where we find two partners deciding on whether to pursue the relationship or end it. There may however be an interest in just continuing the way they are. Then again, it may suit either or both, to date occasionally with no strings attached or long-term expectations. In this manner, a couple can enjoy the ongoing company whilst retaining their independence and identity. Neither commit solely to each other and are free to date others as they so choose.

The above arrangement could be a work thing. Possibly someone you are drawn to, or interact with, but only at work or work-related events. It could suggest a relationship that can be switched on and off with general ease. If you travel for work, the Reversed Three of Wands could be highlighting an, on/off relationship with a colleague you encounter on these occasions.

After You Get What You Want

The Reversed Three of Wands can reveal a relationship that loses its appeal once it has become more formalised via making a commitment, engagement, or moving in. This is what you wanted, this is what you hoped and dreamed for, what you planned and talked about. However, now that it is here, there is a sense of anti-climax. Your feelings may turn full circle. After you get what you want, you don’t want it at all. Your personal space has been invaded and you feel claustrophobic. You partner seems to watch you all the time, asks what you are thinking about, where you are going and what you are doing? They seem to be everywhere and anywhere you go in the house. You feel hemmed in. This may leave you confused or even startled. You might begin to want your freedom back. You may reflect longingly at your old life and wish to return to it.

There could be a slide in the relationship, even a temptation to stray if you abandon all care. You might convince yourself into believing there is something/someone out there, better than you already have. Tied up in a relationship, you may feel you are missing out on action because of it. You will need to reflect on the reasons behind your sudden change of heart. Subconsciously, your goal may have been of a competitive nature. You succeeded in your quest, securing the commitment of your partner, preventing someone else from getting him/her, got engaged, whatever. You sailed high on your victory but now that has passed. You might crave another quest.

With interpretations based on relationships, the Reversed Three of Wands can suggest your desire to sail back to shore and start all over again. This card can highlight a partner who appears to blow it all, by doing something really stupid at a very crucial stage of the relationship. Just when a couple has agreed to lay down solid foundations for the future, one partner is attracted to greener grass beyond the relationship. This is Fire in action as it gets restless with new-found stability and looks for distraction. It will cast its eyes around to see if there is anything better on the horizon.

Blind Ambition

Now we must look at how The Reversed Three might seek advancement in a more ruthless manner. Ambition burns brightly but it is fuelled by a Fire that takes no prisoners in its advance to the top. In this aspect, we can find individuals or couples who are prepared to get to the top by taking what they want and walking over others to acquire it. This tendency can be found in couples where partners have been drawn to each other because of this common trait. They are on a mission together and will support each other in their pursuit of it. They let no friendship with others stand in their way. They offer loyalty only to their shared vision. They will use and abuse you to get it, befriending you when it might serve their purpose. They only see what others can do for them, not what they can do for others.

Sweating The Small Stuff – Procrastination

The Reversed Three of Wands can highlight the reasons why an individual or couple can’t seem to get anywhere. Whether they are ambitious or not, have set goals or are making it up as they go along, they appear to go around in circles, endlessly going over the same ground, never making progress or advancing, arriving back at the same spot. In The Upright, we found an attitude of ‘can do’. Priorities were set with an understanding of what was important and what was not. They didn’t get bogged down in minutia, paid attention to the trivial ins and outs of every situation, or made mountains out of molehills. There was constant forward momentum and an eye kept of the big picture, the goal.

In The Reversed Three, we find people making a drama out of nothing, caught up in superficial aspects surrounding the goal, the vision clouded by irrelevant matters that are given too much attention. Energy is scattered and people get hung up on the incidentals, not the main matters. This leads to procrastination, not being able to get going with a plan or project because of too many excuses holding it back. The small stuff is sweated indefinitely leaving precious little energy for anything else. Years can go by while people try to get around to doing something, the time is never right and too many obstacles stand in your way. Stop giving energy to things that really don’t matter. You will be old before you know it.

Gossiping and sharing too much information with others about your vision, ambition or goals, can be counterproductive and possibly dangerous. Others know too much about you and could be influencing you negatively with their comments. They could run down your vision, make you nervous or doubtful, or even talk you out of it. If single you need to maintain control and drip feed information on a need to know basis. Couples need to keep matters to themselves until they are in complete agreement about how progress will be made. This is not an idea you are running by people in return for their advice. People often feel you are asking them to find flaw, not brilliance.  It should be more of a statement when you are sure of where you are going with it. If you let others in on your vision from the offset, they are bound to pick holes in it as you go along. You also run the risk of giving someone else your idea. While you sit around talking about it indefinitely, someone else might run with it.

Goals/Dreams Shift

In the Upright Three we found a couple who shared the same vision, goal or dream. They were mutually ambitious in life and had high expectations. They were on a joint quest and ready to back each other up in the pursuit of it. They had crystal clear understanding of where they were going. Now in The Reversed Three, we see the energy shift. They are no longer on the same wavelength. Somewhere along the way the goal posts shifted, the dream altered, the vision fell off centre. There is a gulf widening between their individual perception of the vision. It is no longer clear they want the same. The waters have been muddied and it will be difficult to stay on track. They are travelling without a compass or navigation system and could veer off course.  Perhaps the vision or goal needs to be tweaked or modified, the co-ordinates changed to reflect any changes in either, or both, partners. The dream decided upon, may be unrealistic or too far out of reach. People change all the time, so do their circumstances. Do not be afraid to re-visit your vision. It is not a sign of failure. This is akin to reviewing a business plan to see what you are about.

Refusing To Let An Argument Go/Admit You Were Wrong

In The Three of Wands Reversed, we might find an entrenched situation after an argument or disagreement. No progress has been made in settling or moving away from it. In fact, it is harped back to constantly. Like a dog with a bone, someone might refuse to let the issue go. There could be a pair in it though. Those involved get stuck at the crossroads of the Two, where a chilly silence hovers. People avoid each other, barely communicate and create a negative energy around them. There is likely to be strong personalities involved which will result in a battle of wills. The issue may lie with a bad or unpopular decision made in the Two. It may have turned out to be a disaster, which now has those involved at loggerheads with each other. Blame is thrown around, or back and forth. One partner may be up in arms, shouting ‘I told you so, but you never listen’. If there is a definite guilty party, he/she will be reluctant to admit it which only infuriates matters further. A diplomatic trip back to The Two is required. Someone may need to referee negotiations as there is a lot of tension in the air.

Not In The Running

The Reversed Three of Wands can appear in a reading as confirmation of a relationship that is out of your reach no matter how much you desire it. You may have been doing quite a lot to impress or to put yourself in a certain person’s pathway or presence, but alas, you have gained nothing apart from feeling demoralised. Intent keenness is suggested but it is not reciprocated, or perhaps even noticed. You feel you might as well be on another planet for all the difference it has made. Perhaps this person in question has his or her attention focused elsewhere, or is actively avoiding relationships. You have done enough work and now must back off.

You might also need to reflect on what the problem might be. Is there a significant age difference? Is the person already spoken for? Is the distance between you too vast? Is a likely relationship between you realistic or idealistic? Are you viewing it through rose-tinted lens? Sadly, this card can deliver the disappointing news about the prospects of a relationship you hanker after. You may have to accept this person is out of your league. It is time to move on and concentrate on relationships that work with you, not against you. Yes, effort is required in every successful relationship but it should not feel like hard work. You probably need to let this one go. There are plenty more fish in the sea as the saying goes!

Worlds Apart – Wrong Side of Tracks

The Reversed Three of Wands can find you on the opposite side of the track from the person you seek a relationship with. There is a barrier that blocks you getting close to them. Your worlds are very far apart with little chance of your paths crossing at any time. This is very different from the energy of The Fortune Hunter, Social Climber as the situation reflected by this card shows a resigned acceptance of the vast gulf that divides them. They do not make any attempt to cross the divide or pretend to be anyone other than who they are. There is an understanding that is the way of the world.

If an attraction has developed between individuals who are worlds apart socially or economically, The Reversed Three of Wands does not see it being taken any further into a relationship. It will stay as it is. There is no future or rags to riches story here. In The Upright Three, we find brave bold individuals who throw convention and tradition on its head, but in the Reverse they bow to the status quo.

Four of Wands

Getting Back on Track

For couples who have been putting great effort into healing rifts, or overcoming struggles and issues, The Four of Wands brings peace at last. You have come a long way from the worries of the Two. Due to the effort of The Three, stability is restored, intentions renewed. Partners vow to commit to the success of the relationship going forward. Aware of their survival after a close brush with disaster, a united front is displayed as partners draw close and rediscover the joy in each other. What could have broken them, instead has strengthened them. Their relationship foundations have been tested. It is time to relax and settle down into life once more.

Settled

The Four of Wands suggests you are happy in your skin, feeling content and want for nothing at present. Life is good and you are happy in what you are doing, and in all you have achieved so far. You have reached a stage where you can relax for a while and allow life to just do its thing. Any pressure you were experiencing has eased off or being dealt with. Whether single, or part of a couple, you can now catch up with all the things you haven’t had time for. Getting your home in order, sorting your clothes, tidying the garden etc. will help make you feel more organised. All those odd jobs that have been disturbing your sleep at night, such as filing bills, balancing accounts, clearing overflowing email inboxes, calling friends, and responding to social media comments, will get attended to. This will clear your to-do list, and relieve some strain.

Home From Home

The Four of Wands can suggest you like going home, especially if the Six of Cups appears close by. You may have established your own home or one with a partner where you are very happy and settled. However, there is nothing like the vibe of going home. This card suggests a very happy family home in your life and one you are eager to visit as often as you can. You may spend a lot of time there, are in constant contact. Regardless of where you go, it remains the constant heartbeat in your life, a place where very special people live or are connected to. It is the place you can be yourself, relax, where no one judges you, and everyone is used to your idiosyncrasies.

The Four of Wands in a reading could suggest reaching the stage in a relationship where you are eager to introduce your partner to your family. You have told them all about this special person in your life and they now want to meet him/her. A special event may be arranged for the occasion such as a dinner or drinks party. Your family are keen to impress your partner so will go to great lengths to make it as special as they can. You may be surprised when you arrive to find your family home transformed, the good crockery and cutlery in use and those crystal glasses no one was ever allowed touch, polished on the table. Your mother has had her hair done and is speaking in a fancy manner, your father is trussed up in a suit and tie, beaming with delight. Neighbours may have been invited to witness the spectacle. It will be a great day and your partner will be the topic of conversation for many days to come.

There is also a sense in this card where one partner’s family appear to feature more in a couple’s lives. This is often the family of the female involved. Couple’s gravitate towards this family for most social and calendar events. They may even arrange vacations together, especially when children are involved. The other family are not visited as often, but this does not imply they are less important.

Relationship Could Go All The Way!

When the Four of Wands appears in answer to how a relationship is likely to progress in the future, it offers great potential. The imagery suggests there is a very good chance the relationship or romance will result in long-term commitment or marriage.  You may be ready to set the date or have just done so. You will make an occasion out of breaking the good news. Get those champagne corks popping!

The Marrying Type

If there is certain person you have set your heart on, or are already dating, this card could suggest they are the marrying type and will be open to developing a committed relationship with you. It may be you who firmly believes in marriage being the ultimate declaration of love and commitment. You may have dreamed about getting married from a young age. You are addicted to all the bling, pomp and ceremony that goes with getting married, and cannot wait for it to happen for you.

Wedding Fairs/Dresses/Bridesmaids/Hens/Stags

The Four of Wands is a lovely, upbeat, joyful card. Its presence in your relationship reading could suggest wedding fairs and exhibitions. You might have scheduled several dates with your girlfriends to go shopping for accessories, wedding dress, or decorations. You could be trying out different hairstyles and makeup, or just having girlie get-togethers with friends/bridesmaids to discuss wedding plans (check for the presence of Three of Cups). This is the fun part and you are enjoying the special attention. This Four of Wands could also highlight a Hen or Stag Party. You may have gone to a foreign location, or just away for the weekend with close friends. It’s party time. All talk and activity is centred around the wedding. Baby showers are also featured.

You May be Next!

Always the Bridesmaid and never the Bride? The Four of Wands could suggest this is about to change. In the imagery of this card we see what might be two bridesmaids awaiting the arrival of the Bride. However, one of the Bridesmaids waves two bouquets over her head. Could this be the departure of the bride, and not her arrival? Did the Bride throw her bouquet? Is that where the second bouquet came from? If so, who caught it? Might it be you?

The Love Nest

For couples who have decided to move in together, or have been house-hunting, The Four of Wands suggests finding the home of your dreams. The Wands are quite extravagant and showy, but in this instance, the new home doesn’t have to be way out there. Its energy is more connected to excitement and enthusiasm in wanting to set up home together rather than the size or price of it. Whether, a penthouse, studio, apartment, or tiny loft conversion, you can’t wait to splash your style all over it. You have found a home of your very own, or are possibly moving into your partner’s place. This is a big decision you have made and you are so happy.

It is likely you have gone house mad and can think of nothing else but doing it up and making it stunning. Under this influence, The Four of Wands draws you away from the external pursuits of the outside world and places you firmly into the heart of the home. It is a time of domestic bliss and putting focused concentration into doing up your house, or renovating it. It’s a time for housey magazines, paint charts, home décor stores, choosing tiles and flooring, sofas, beds, and kitchens.  In an unusual move for Wands, more time is spent in the house than outside it. By firmly planting the four Wands in the ground, Fire is playing at, or mimicking Earth.  Plans and projects are based around the home and great energy will be put into making it look as good as it can. You may be quite extravagant in your purchases but it will be hard to rein yourself in with such positive Fire encouraging you.

This card could symbolise the moving in day, eagerly awaiting furniture delivery trucks and tradespeople. You may be on your way to pick up the key, all documents signed and sealed. Friends and family might gather to offer their help as extra pairs of hands will be needed to fetch, carry, clean and paint. It marks a time of excitement and fun, with new enriching experiences. Everything looks novel and interesting. You just can’t stop opening doors to peer at how the furniture looks now that it is in place, or how the light through the window changes as the day goes on. It is all fresh and stimulating. It’s a bit like going on holidays to a lovely hotel; that moment when you open the door to your bedroom and feel a childish rush of thrill as you explore it. Staring out the window at the view, laying out your bits and pieces, making it feel like a little home, your own place. This is the vibe of The Four of Wands when moving into a new home, or when you have completely renovated your existing one. There is no desire to go out in search of entertainment as you have all you need at home. You may also be putting much effort into the garden as we see outside activity in the imagery of the card.

Fabulous Wedding Gifts

The excitement of opening wedding gifts can also be felt in this card. The Four of Wands brings extravagant gifts which could take your breath away. There may be a wedding gift from family you had not expected. Your partner/spouse may also present you with a surprise gift. No expense has been spared on you.

A Big Welcome From In-laws

Carrying on from the theme above, The Four of Wands acts as a welcome message from your partner or spouse’s family. Whether moving in together, or getting married, the stage you have reached in your relationship will entail some level of communication or interaction with your partner’s family. You might be able to choose your partner, but you will not be able to choose their family, or overtly control their presence in your life. When this Card appears Upright, we find a reciprocal embracing. Your in-laws are ready and willing to welcome you into the inner family circle, and in turn, you are happy to comply. This is a win, win situation where lives are enhanced through the genuine offer of love and support. They consider you a valued member of their family. This does not mean you must spend a high percentage of your time in their company, or have them around at your place all the time. Neither does it involve having to agree with them, or even get on with all of them. That would be asking too much of everyone.  The Four of Wands suggests happy days, and trouble free times. There will be minimal interference from your in-laws and everyone means well. You will be free to get on with your own lives, in your own way.

The Patter of Tiny Little Feet

Strong fertility, and reaching the level of maturity required to start a family is highlighted in The Four of Wands. You are at the peak of your fertility and the time is right. In the Three of Wands we looked at individuals and couples who were actively seeking to start a family. They had decided to go beyond the couple aspect of their relationship and make room for another. Sure of their deep love and commitment to each other, they are happy to take the next step forward. They believe they have what it takes to be good parents, and can provide a stable and secure home for any children they might be blessed with.  In the Three we saw them stare into their future. With no guarantees of what it might hold, they were prepared to take a chance on it. Now in the Four, we begin to see the results of their endeavours. The Four of Wands is a card of celebration and joy. Depending on surrounding cards (Ace of Cups/Wands, Nine of Pentacles, Empress, High Priestess Pages, Fool etc), it can often suggest the announcement of a pregnancy or indeed the birth itself. This is splendid news for all involved. Great excitement takes over and effort will be put into preparing for the new arrival. You may be transforming a spare room into a nursery, buying baby buggies, sterilisers, cots and paraphernalia. You want everything in place when the time comes.

Enjoying Your New-Found Freedom – Divorce Parties

The Four of Wands, although strongly linked to engagement and marriage can also suggest life beginning to settle down once more after the end of a relationship or marriage. It marks the end of the period of mourning as you start to enjoy your new-found freedom. You might be heading off on vacation with friends or becoming more sociable. The imagery on this card shows you being welcomed back into life once more as you successfully pass through a major milestone.  You thought it would kill you, but it didn’t. You survived. Stability and security have returned and you feel more sure of yourself. You can laugh and feel light again. In the Three you began taking your first steps into recovery. In The Four, you have fully arrived.

In modern times, depending on surrounding cards, The Four of Wands could suggest throwing a divorce party as you toast release from an unhappy marriage.

 Four of Wands Reversed

Living The Dream

Traditionally The Four of Wands Reversed brings even greater joy than when Upright. At the very least it suggests a continuation of prosperity and abundance. In the Upright we might see family and friends celebrating the union of a happy loving couple, or the birth of a new baby. When Reversed, we see a couple’s love and commitment grow stronger still, babies thrive and flourish. All is love and light, bliss and contentment. The sun of the Upright Four is still shining brightly, the summer of wonder continues uninterrupted.

Depending on surrounding cards, The Four of Wands can suggest you are living the dream. Life can’t get much better than this. There is not one thing you would change about your life should be given the option.

Retirement In The Sun – Wish You Were Here!

Should the Ace, and Nine of Pentacles, appear nearby, The Four of Wands could see you buying a retirement home in the sun. If the Seven of Pentacles appears, then it might be a retirement plan you are working towards, not quite there yet. The location chosen may be based on a favourite vacation destination you have frequented over the years. The imagery sees you living the dream, laid back, carefree, enjoying the good weather and settling into your new home. It is likely you have an open-door policy, encouraging family and friends to visit on vacation. Here we see you standing at the arrival gates excitedly awaiting the arrival of guests. There is a holiday like atmosphere around you. The sun shines down on the old fortress town with its cobblestoned narrow streets, bespoke shops and galleries. A group of tourists sit at a street-side bistro, eating lunch and sipping wine. Beyond the castle walls we might find the coastline with its aquamarine water and sandy coves. Your guests will be given the grand tour.

Unsettled

The Reversed Four of Wands can imply you are feeling very unsettled. There may be just cause, but there is a chance you might not be able to identify the root of your discontent or restlessness. You examine your situation and find nothing out of sorts, except yourself. You just don’t seem to be getting the same enjoyment out of things of late and you wonder why? Perhaps life has become a little stale, too predictable? Four brings a stabilising force into our life and we tend to bask in its presence for some time. We are not harassed or stressed by anything as it is all under control. However, maybe that is the problem. There might be too much routine in life at present, few challenges or things to strive for. You might be bored and don’t realise it. It could be time to move a little, to push further, to leave this state behind in favour of further adventure and experience. You have stayed still for long enough and now must move on. The same is experienced in the Six of Cups Reversed, when the four walls begin to close in and we feel restricted and claustrophobic. Your journey is not yet complete so get going.

Wedding Postponement

Regardless of how well one plans for their Big Day, life can get in the way and force a couple to postpone their wedding. This could be related to work, the sudden loss of a job, recession, or obligation to travel. Depending on circumstances, news of ill health or surgery could impact plans. A sudden death in the family may leave you in a terrible dilemma. Should you proceed or postpone?  If you are getting married overseas, a sudden change in the stability of a country, such as the outbreak of war, terrorism, or natural disaster could alter all your plans. They say God laughs at us when we make plans, and sometimes it appears that way. If the reasons are genuine and valid, re-scheduling should not be an issue, but you may have to make some sacrifices. You must get on with it and remain positive.

Post Wedding Blues

The Reversed Four of Wands can suggest post-wedding blues and the of sense of anti-climax that often follows such big occasions. All the planning, talking, shopping and arranging is over. If wedding planning has dominated your life for months or years on end, it is likely you feel a little lost and wonder, what now? If you have given too much of yourself to the Big Day, you might have lost touch with who you were before. Tiredness and fatigue have eventually caught up with you. The partying is over, and all must return to normal life.

In the imagery of this card reversed we see the wedding venue, but it is now the morning after. It may all seem a bit chaotic or jaded. Flower arrangements have already started to wilt. The garland which hung on the entrance door, now lies scattered on the floor. A bridesmaid’s posy sits sadly on a chair, its ribbon unravelled. Someone may have sat on it.  Wine stains are blotched all over the white linen table cloths and abandoned jackets or shoes are collected by hotel staff. Overnight Wedding guests sit quietly in the breakfast room, too hungover to talk. Some guests have already departed for early morning flights. All the control and careful orchestration of the day before has vanished as guests come and go, some unrecognisable once out of their wedding finery. Some guests appear still sporting their make-up from the previous day, too tired to remove it. They look out of place in the post wedding morning light. Descending to the breakfast room it is the Bride and Groom’s last official public entrance. The enthusiasm of the previous day worn off the guests. Yesterday, everyone was falling over themselves to touch the bride, now they can barely muster up the energy to wave.

The bride and groom may also be the worst for wear. The amazing wedding dress, stained from wine spills or footprints looks upset and disgusted at its state. It has had its day and is unlikely to appear at any other outings. All in all, as wonderful as the day was, there is an air of sadness and loss. The couple’s ‘once in a lifetime’ day is over, and hopefully the memories of it will sustain them.  They might actually be relieved at the prospects of returning to normal if the wedding had taken over their lives. Time to sit down and count the cost. There is a chance caution was thrown to the wind as the time approached. The budget may have gone out the window.

In the Upright Four of Wands we got caught up in the excitement of family and guests arriving from all over. Some travelled a considerable distance. There were welcoming faces at arrivals gates and train stations. And then the family gatherings, pre-wedding dinners and parties all attended. In the Four of Wands Reversed, it is time for everyone to take their leave. The wedding is over and all good times must come to an end. It is an emotional time for families and the couple who have brought everyone together for such an event. Tear-filled farewells and embraces can be seen in the energy of this card. Everyone promises to keep in touch and meet up, but all know that it is unlikely. It will take another wedding, or funeral, to bring them all together again.

All the above associations can lead to Post-Wedding blues, a type of mini-depression. It will take time for the couple to stabilise and find a new norm. If there is a honeymoon to look forward to, this can give the couple time to adjust to their new status and just be. All the running around is over, especially the craziness of the final run up to the Big Day. It is time to move on from the intensity of planning a wedding and concentrate on the relationship instead. Partners need to re-connect. There is still plenty to look forward to. The Honeymoon for one, and all those lovely gifts to open when you return. You can keep the hype going for a little while yet if you feel it all too sad to let go!

Party Fatigue!

Coming from a different perspective, The Four of Wands Reversed can suggest the peace and calm that descends after a hectic time for a couple. If there has been a wedding, the spotlight is now off as the partying and hectic social demands come to an end. Saying farewell to guests and bringing the celebrations to a close can be emotional but this also brings a sense of relief as exhaustion takes over. There may have been one party too many at this stage and the emphasis is on retreat, rest and relaxation. Instead of wooing and courting the crowd, you just want to get away from everyone.

Marriage Not For You!

For one reason or another you do not want to get married. Possibly you have no faith in marriage. You may have seen too many fall apart. Your own parents may be separated or divorced. You could come from an unhappy childhood or broken family. You do not want to bring such misery into your own life. You could be fearful of history repeating itself. You might be fiercely independent and horrified at the thought of having to share your life, or make sacrifices for another. You may have reached an age where you like things just the way they are.

If in a relationship, you have made your feelings about marriage very clear. You are happy to continue in the relationship but do not wish to be pressured into marriage. You don’t see the need to fix things that aren’t broken. You have seen marriage burst magic bubbles.

If you are safely out of a messy divorce, you might vow never to marry again. Once bitten, twice shy. You have been there, done it, and have the scars to prove it. Let others get married. You will attend their weddings of course. Upon the toast, will wish them the best of luck, as they will need all they can get. Rather them than you! Of course, you will keep this to yourself, while smiling happily for them.

Honey Moon is Over

The Reversed Four of Wands can highlight the transition into post-married status. With the wedding day fading into the past, the Honeymoon period is now over. Normal life resumes. Couples who have been flying high since the wedding, begin to settle back into routine life and normal behaviour. During the Wedding stage, any annoying traits or issues between partners were cast aside as there simply wasn’t enough time to address them. Now they resurface. A married couple may have their first post-wedding row. All good behaviour could go out the window. Wedding bills arrive in the post and bank statements cause shock. The Honeymoon period is well and truly over.

Break-Ups

Unfortunately, The Reversed Four of Wands can suggest a break-up. There is bound to be drama surrounding this break-up as it is likely to happen at a very significant time. Here we are looking at the split of a long-term relationship, a broken engagement, or the cancellation of a wedding. The couple is past the initial relationship stage, and have made plans for their future. This will bring shocking news to all concerned as family on both sides are now involved. We could be looking at a partner who feels it is all happening too fast, or has changed his or her mind about the ultimate commitment. It also could highlight couples who have been together for some time but have grown apart, evolved in different directions.

The Reversed Four of Wands can highlight a partner becoming anxious as their wedding date draws close. This may not be observed by the other partner who is busy with organisation and plans. The news when delivered could be abrupt, with a relationship ending suddenly. It could be a last-minute cancellation or withdrawal causing severe impact for all involved. Weddings may need to be called off, venues cancelled, and notice sent to guests. If Reversed Pentacles surround this card, there may be significant financial loss if deposits are non-refundable. It may end up being a very expensive lesson. Everything has been ruined and the fallout is monumental.

Set-backs and Delays in Conceiving

The Four of Wands Reversed could suggest issues or set-backs with conceiving. As a couple, you may have expected to conceive quite rapidly once stopping contraception. You are now surprised, if not a little frustrated and worried. If the couple, and especially the female, become too intense about the process, mother nature often holds back. In its nature, Fire has a tendency to seek control over situations or people. When it cannot get its own way, it often tries to force it. This can be either subtle or obvious. Making too much of a fuss when conception doesn’t happen immediately can be counter-productive. Sometimes a baby will not happen if there is too much stress associated with the process.

Wanting A Large Family

In the Four of Wands Reversed, we find increase, abundance and prosperity. Relating this to starting a family, this card could suggest your desire to have a large family. In the Upright Four, you are content with just having children, but now you might want to fill the house with them. Check for The Empress, High Priestess, Six of Cups, Pages, Queen Cups/Pentacles (the motherly types). Wanting a large family is often associated with coming from a large family, or the opposite, being an only child. Maybe you enjoyed the camaraderie, hustle and bustle of growing up with several siblings. Perhaps you felt lonely as a child if there was just you.

The Baby Club!

If you are having trouble conceiving, you may feel under pressure or strained if your friends are announcing their pregnancies all around you. It seems just about everyone you know is pregnant or has just had a baby. You can see the joy it has brought them and want to be part of it. You may not feel part of the group or inner circle. You feel you have little in common when you meet up as all is baby talk. You might feel they are insensitive or pity you. They might feel awkward around you. You badly want to be part of the club but haven’t managed to gain access yet. Try and relax about it all. Stress will not help your case.

No Child Support

A lack of child support can be implied in The Four of Wands Reversed. Here we might be looking at either an unplanned pregnancy from the Two or Three, or children from a failed relationship or broken marriage. In the Upright, you receive adequate support, but when Reversed, nothing is coming your way. The nature of this card is one of affluence and plenty. Failing to provide financial or practical support may be the result of a stubborn attitude, protection of assets, or legal advice. Offering maintenance prior to a legal ruling can set a precedence. If you give too much in the beginning you may be forced to give more if you go to court. You may decide not to give any until you must by law. This is very much a business move or strategy, with no real consideration for the lives that are involved. If the break up was not mutual, you could find the injured party holding out with maintenance or child support out of revenge or bitterness. We could see one partner still living in the fancy home, but with barely any money to pay the bills, put fuel in the car, or buy food unless they have a separate income.

Feeling Shunned And Overlooked For Bridesmaid Role

So your best friend or sister is getting married and you are taking it for granted you will be asked to be Bridesmaid or Matron of Honour? You have probably spoken about it to friends and work colleagues. The thing is you have been overlooked in favour of another. The honour has been bestowed on another friend or sister and you are both devastated and enraged all at the one time. How could she? Your response to this is to be indifferent to the wedding and downright awkward at times. You might pick holes in all her plans and find fault with every dress she tries on.

Now guys are not so upset when it comes to being overlooked for Best Man or Groomsman. Instead, they are generally relieved. However, there are some who will feel insulted and slighted.

Wanting it all!

The Reversed Four of Wands can suggest a partner who cannot be content with what he or she has. There may be a marriage or long-term relationship but it is not enough. This card can indicate straying outside the marital home or boundaries of a relationship in search of extra entertainment. He or she could be living two lives, wanting their cake and eat it. A wife or husband at home and an affair on the side. Surrounding cards would need to support his theory. Check for the Six, Seven of Swords, Five of Wands, Reversed Three of Cups, Seven of Cups, Reversed Court Cards and Reversed Lovers.

We might also be looking at indiscretions that occurred while at your stag or hen party/weekend. Will you be able to hide the truth from your partner.

Interfering In-laws – Not The Support You Were Hoping For!

The Four of Wands Reversed can also highlight interfering in-laws. You may discover your in-laws view your home as an open invitation. There may be regular unannounced visits that disrupt the flow of your day or plans. If they live close by, this traffic could be constant as they expect to be greeted and entertained on each occasion. You may rarely have the house to yourself. If you have just had a baby, you might feel smothered, if not suffocated by their presence and interference. They could assume authority over you and make too many suggestions, attempting to force their ways on you. They could make you feel a failure as a parent. Nothing you do is right. They might say they are only trying to help, but really they want control. They have an opinion on everything you do. You find yourself constantly biting your lip and holding back just to keep the peace. However, you are furious and angry with your partner for not doing something about it, or standing up to them. He/she may not see the problem as you do. They are used to their family. You must strongly communicate to your partner how distressed you are about the lack of privacy and space. You cannot relax in your own house, hiding behind curtains when the doorbell rings, lying on the phone about your whereabouts or plans, and sneaking in and out to your car without being seen. It is vital you find a way to change this behaviour before it becomes entrenched. You have a choice. Get used to it, or stop it.  It will erode your relationship.

Then there are in-laws who genuinely want to help, think they are helping, but they are being too forceful and controlling. In the nicest possible way, you must get them to back off.

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