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Disclaimer – Important Information
The content of this book is an exploration of potential theories, possibilities and probabilities which may, or may not, be relevant or associated when interpreting Tarot Cards for relationship, romance, love, and sex, Tarot Reading purposes. My approach to Tarot is predominantly academic. The collection of interpretations provided are theoretical, hypothetical, speculative, intuitive, and both academic and abstract. They are not based on mediumship, psychic involvement, or spirit-guide contribution. In writing this book I have used an eclectic process to formulate all interpretations. This process includes: the traditional approach, analysis of imagery, symbolism, numerology, and elemental influences, along with psychological profiling, deduction, and a huge input of creative imaginings and personal musings. Interpretations come from many perspectives and are far from conclusive. It is not intended to be a definitive study of Tarot interpretation, but purely an exploration of potential ones. I do not claim to be an expert or figure of authority on the subject of Tarot. Tarot is subject to interpretation by the individual reader. The interpretations provided in this book are mine. There is no onus on the reader of this content to take on, or adopt, my approach to Tarot.
The content provided within this book is meant for entertainment purposes only. It should add to your knowledge of Tarot, not define it. The reader is encouraged to use the content to expand on their existing knowledge, while questioning its relevancy in their own approach to Tarot Reading. With an abundance of potential interpretations provided, it is expected the reader will relate to some, and not others. A wide choice is given, so there should be something for everyone.
The interpretations provided for each card are numerous and varied. Unless being used for a One Card Reading, it is intended interpretation takes into account, all cards within the Spread, and not just one. Surrounding cards offer supporting evidence for appropriate interpretation of an individual card, or negate it. Surrounding cards can also neutralise. The reader should be sensible and sensitive when using the interpretations provided in this book. There are both positive and negative associations in all cards regardless of outward appearance. One assumed good or bad card means little unless surrounding cards back it up. Do not be tempted to automatically veer to the more negative interpretations provided in this book, unless there is just cause to do so. The Tarot Cards hold no magical power. They are just cards, cards that tell stories. It is true some people have terrible stories to tell, which should rightly be expressed through interpretation. Stories extracted from cards drawn by a querant should work into the fabric of their life and pertaining situation. The should not force onto a querant a story fabricated to the desires, fears, or beliefs of the reader. Whereas many of the interpretations in this book seem dramatic and intense, it is typically the more mundane ones that are relevant.
**Important Information of Sex Interpretations**
The Sex Interpretations provided below are not based on any specific traditional ones. I have not sourced them from other teaching systems. They are compiled from intuitive study, analysis of imagery, intellectual deduction, elemental archetypal association, numerical attributes and upright/reversal orientation. They should be used as prompters, musings, theories, contemplation, issues for debate, but not as direct interpretation unless you feel very confident and assured of their accuracy. Interpretations pertaining to sex should not be used in readings where you seek information on a third party, such as your partner, or someone else. You are unlikely to glean much accurate information and may upset yourself in the process. The sex interpretations offered are for self-analysis and self-exploration.
Whereas romance, love and relationships are covered when learning tarot, and found in every book about subject, the area of sex is often over-looked, or avoided. Sexually themed tarot decks are now readily available, with suggestive or explicit imagery. These would not be decks used on a general basis, but might be useful when wishing to explore your sexuality as an individual or couple through the medium of tarot. The cards can throw up repressed sexual issues, sexual insecurities and sexual reassurance along with advice and suggestions for improving your sex life. You may learn a lot about how your attitude to sex and sexuality formed since childhood through parental influence, education, community and culture, religious influence, peer influence and natural inclinations. Your approach to sex will also be directly and indirectly influenced by your experiences in relationships, your first sexual encounter and the personalities you attract. The tarot can help discover your true sexual nature.
Interpretations pertaining to sex are very subjective. The presence of The Five of Wands alone in any reading, even about sex, does not imply any one of these meanings. Cards are read in conjunction with other cards based on the question asked, the intention set and the nature of the querant. Checking up on the status of your partner and drawing a Five of Wands does not suggest he or she is off having sex with multiple partners or into kinky or fetish behaviour. They are provided as alternative interpretations which might be useful when conducting a reading based on the sexual side of your own life. This would be a very specific and extremely personal reading, with very definite intentions – very far removed from a general relationship reading.
The purchase or download of this book does not form a contract. I am not responsible for your response or reaction upon reading it. It should go without saying that the content provided in this book, as with all Tarot, does not replace Professional Medical/Legal/Business Opinion and Advice. It will not force you to follow a particular course of action, or attempt to exert any form of control over your free-will and common sense. Any decisions made, or actions taken by you as a result of reading this content, are your sole responsibility and have not been forced upon you, by me, the author. I assume no legal liability for any damages, losses, or other consequences of any decisions, subsequent to, or based on, my Tarot interpretations provided herein.
Five of Wands – When the Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going!
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The Pictorial Key To The Tarot (1911) – Arthur Edward Waite
Divinatory Meanings: Imitation, as, for example, sham fight, but also the strenuous competition and struggle of the search after riches and fortune. In this sense, it connects with the battle of life. Hence some attributions say that it is a card of gold, gain, opulence. Reversed: Litigation, disputes, trickery, contradiction.
(Card Description Based on Rider-Waite Imagery)
A group of five young figures brandish Wands or sticks in their hands. It is unclear as to whether they use them as weapons for battle or sport. The scene presented to us is one of chaos, either organised or disorganised depending on the aim of the individuals involved. The figures appear to be fully engaged in this rowdy activity. At first glance, it looks a bit dangerous, as if a situation has gotten out of control. However, when we examine the individual faces, we find neither anger nor malice, but rather passion and determination. Indeed, they appear to be heartily enjoying themselves. There is an impression of noise and boisterousness as the Wands make contact and clash off each other. No one is directly hit with the sticks even though it might first appear that way. Unlike the Five of Swords, we see no injuries, no blood, no bodies scattered on the ground. These skirmishes symbolize the battles of daily life – our inherited human condition. Life is constantly throwing curve balls, or sticks (Wands) at us. We either run for cover, or come out fighting. The five figures have decided to stand and fight.
So, we have determined they are not engaged in mortal combat, but what else might they be up to? If we closely observe their faces, they do not appear to make eye contact with each other. Perhaps their Wands clash because they are not looking where they are going, or are too caught up with their own agendas to notice or care about others. They move around like busy bees. There is also a sense of urgency and haste in their mad running around. Could this be a challenge that must be completed in a set time? Do the five figures work independently or are they part of a team? With the Wands flying in all directions, we wonder if there is a common cause at all. There is also a distinct absence of leadership. This could be a competition or race of some sort, with every man for himself, out for what he can get or achieve. They may all be seeking the same outcome, but it might be in limited supply. The first man over the finish line will secure it, so there’s no time to dawdle. No one is project managing the frenzied activity, so anything might happen with such fiery energy flying in all directions.
Perhaps we are looking at an organised team who have been given a last-minute task or project to complete. With no time to prepare or delegate, it might be all hands-on deck, with everyone intent on getting on with their own job. This could be organised chaos we are observing. The Wands may have a collective purpose rather than how they are individually represented in the imagery. We are given a snapshot of this scene and it is unclear whether it is depicting a before or after scenario of the goal or aim of this group or individual. The scene is captured in high activity, the five Wands either coming together, or being pulled apart. Could they be a group of builders set with the task of constructing or demolishing something? Perhaps they are engaging in a tug of war over it, fighting over ownership. The Wands even in their current state of disarray do convey an uncanny resemblance to a five-pointed pentagram, at least at some stage of its existence. The form is there and we must look at what impact a Pentagram might have on the individuals in this scene. If they are constructing it, they seem to be in a bit of panic. Are they running out of time or just eager to reach completion? The pentagram is connected to the Element of Earth in occult usage, offering ultimate protection and defence. If they are attempting to erect one, it appears they all have differing ideas as to how this might be approached. Their definition of a Pentagram and what it means may wildly vary. Their scattered energy is getting them nowhere. If someone took charge it wouldn’t look as chaotic, but will these Fire personalities be happy with handing control to another, especially if large egos are involved?
The figures wear outfits of varying colour and style. This is very significant as it symbolises their different mindsets and personalities. There is no uniform or team colour here, and perhaps no common ground either. Whatever the situation, argument or challenge, all appear to have different approaches to how it should be sorted. Everyone is shouting at the same time making it impossible to hear what they individually say. If over-inflated egos are active, each will attempt to force their view, opinion, or idea on the others to gain supremacy. Each figure thinks they know best, and will want their own way. In their eyes, there can be only one winner, one champion.
A victor must emerge from the group to assert full authority and command leadership. However, what started off as great sport, could result in tears if the figures become forceful or pushy with their own agenda. Petty conflicts and disagreements may escalate into open hostility or serious warfare unless someone can step in to calm the situation or assume control. The imagery depicts the archetypal situation of too many Chiefs and not enough Indians. Everyone is too full of their own importance to think of the greater good of all. It could all get too personal with opponents perceiving slight or insult at every opportunity. There may be no physical injuries, but egos could take a bashing. If so, we will not see much reason or rationale among this group as they seek to retaliate and lash out at each other. Here we see the Fire Element overheating a situation or issue. It will gleefully run amok in this uncontrolled environment. With poor communication and cooperation among the group, mistakes are likely. They could waste valuable time and energy firefighting each ensuing disaster.
There must be one among them who has the foresight to see they are getting nowhere behaving as such. Surely, they can find something to agree on. If they could negotiate some common ground to work from, it would at least be a start. A leader must be appointed or self-appointed. Whoever it is will need to be made of strong stuff, and assertive but not forceful. He will not be dealing with a group of easily led or swayed people, for most will have large egos and may not be compliant. He must also be popular with the group, not someone who raises their hackles or tries to lord it over them. The leader must be ingenious, and come up with something the others have not thought of, an acceptable solution to all their problems, something that will appeal to the mass. He knows the group is full of bright sparks who have great ideas and plans. He can only imagine the great things they could do if they were to put their heads together and work as a team instead of whingeing and back-biting. Individually they have wonderful qualities and talents to bring to the table. The creative possibilities of this group are endless, but the competition between them fierce, the pettiness of their quarrels and complaints often tedious and irritating. Compromise is the solution to any issues or disagreements between these figures, but that might be easier said than done. They need to listen to the needs, ideas, and opinions of each other without jumping in with their own, or engaging in heated disagreement and opposition. Grievances need to be aired and heard. If that is allowed, they may be surprised to discover they have many commonalities, something to work with for the greater good. With all the noise and uproar, they don’t take the time to listen, preferring to jump to conclusions instead. They must also understand that compromise does not equal failure, weakness, or selling out. Rather it is a sign of maturity and an openminded, balanced approach. If they can manage this, they will grow in stature and others will respect their integrity.
A peaceful end can be brought to the battle. Whoever manages to achieve this will undoubtedly emerge as the leader of the pack, the strong favourite. If he has been fair to all, he will gain the respect, support and loyalty of the others who will happily work under his guidance.
The Green Earth beneath the battling figures could be a sports pitch, but there doesn’t seem to be any Captain in charge of the team. At this point, no one knows which side they should be on. They all run after the ball at the same time with no one left covering the rest of the field. However, this may be a practice or warm up before the real game or battle, as we see the figures limber up. Let the Games Begin and may The Best Team Win. It’s too late for nerves now as the men go out to fight to the bitter end. They will need plenty of stamina to stay the course.
The expanse of earth symbolises the territory each fight to protect, defend or maintain. There is plenty of land around, with more than enough space for all, but they fight over the same patch (opportunity) regardless. They may see this plot as the best land (opportunity), so all are determined to secure it. Second best will not do. Once a champion has emerged and secured it, he will then go after the unconquered territory in the background. There will always be more battles to fight.
At present, the group battle in a sports-like manner. They are all worthy opponents and good sports, happy to give as good as they get, and willing to take it on the chin if necessary. This type of challenge releases pent up energy and keeps them fresh and invigorated. All stand on equal footing. No one has seriously pushed to the front of the pack yet, but it won’t be long until someone makes a break for it. The five figures may appear to be caught up in their individual aims, but it is likely they are keeping an eye on each other, ready to move rapidly should one seek to gain advantage. We will then see the game, challenge, or battle accelerate rapidly as remaining competitors take chase.
If we were to stumble upon the scene in the Five of Wands, we might think someone is bound to get hurt, but adrenaline is running so high it would be some time before any would notice or feel the injuries sustained. For those involved, it might fire their blood to sustain such high level of challenge but it will prove wearing and stressful if allowed to continue indefinitely. It will also cause stress for others in their immediate environment who may have to live, work, or co-exist with them. There is little chance for peace and harmony with this group in action.
The balance and teamwork of the Four has vanished and it is everyman for himself now. Something may have happened to disturb the four strong Wands that were planted firmly in the ground. Someone wanted to change the set-up or arrangement of these four Wands by introducing a fifth, or perhaps they fell apart due to neglect. Craving change, they may have intentionally picked away at the foundations until they became lose and shaky. The fifth Wand might have been introduced to prop them up, a stop gap until they could determine what was to be done. The fifth Wand may stand out as different from the previous four. It may appear forcefully, an unwelcome visitor or uninvited guest arriving to disturb the status quo. It may invade the space of the four, causing change, shock and disruption. This fifth Wand has broken the perfect symmetry of the structure. It remains to be seen what it will be replaced with. The fifth Wand might be demanding, dictate how any changes will come about, and what form the new structure will take. It may want to be at the centre of it, usurping the original order. If the figures dismantled the previous four Wands without a plan for what happens next, they will have introduced great uncertainty, instability and insecurity. If the four Wands had provided shelter, sanctuary, or a home for its occupants, it looks like they may be left exposed to the elements until these five figures can get their act together.
With Five being a number of change, it could explain the chaotic scene in this card. Perhaps change is badly needed, and we see action taken to initiate that change. Regardless of how wonderful we view things at times of our life, we typically grow tired of them when they remain static or become outdated. Think of that lovely ‘to die for’ kitchen you had fitted 15 years ago. Yes, it was once right on trend, a la mode, but now it is all wrong and you feel jaded looking at it. You can’t wait to be rid of it, your attention shifting to something more stylish, novel, and aesthetically stimulating. So, we now see the figures enthusiastically throwing themselves into overturning the old order in favour of the new.
There is a need to alter, re-work, or re-imagine the Four Wands for one reason or another. Perhaps the figures are bored with the look, feel, or energy it yields. Has it become old-fashioned, a thing of the past? Then again, there may be no reason other than wanting change for change sake. There may have been nothing wrong with the old fitted kitchen that a lick of fresh paint could not have sorted, but the need to be rid of it becomes urgent. Now we might see a garden/boot sale or skip, as items (parts of life) that once held value or worth are sold off or discarded. However, we do see great interest shown by others, probably nostalgic Cups keen to restore, or conscientious Pentacles determined to recycle. What one figure views as rubbish or useless, another sees in it worth and potential. This card shows the Wands restless spirit and urge to shake things up for good or bad. The demolition team cannot wait to start. A change is as good as a rest. They have had their rest in the Four. In the Five it is time to get moving again.
Should this card symbolise deconstruction, the figures could live to regret tearing it apart or disturbing the foundations. Should they change their mind, it may not be possible to restore it to its original glory. Some things undone can never be redone in the same manner. It is hoped the figures took this into consideration before acting. Although the five strive in earnest, nerves will be on edge and patience tested during this period of upheaval. If any of the Wands hold great value, some may get damaged in the foray through carelessness or negligence.
We might also be looking at blatant sabotage in the imagery of this card. The collective aim is to sort out all these Wands, to construct or deconstruct as necessary, but there may be one, or several among the group who seek to throw a spanner in the works. If this group have been getting nowhere with their project or task, they need to ask why? If they are beset with ongoing problems and setbacks, perhaps there is more to it than meets the eye. Could someone be working behind the scenes to ensure the group’s endeavour fails, to undo any good work that comes about. Might they not want it to progress to completion, or succeed? While all appear to strive in earnest, there may be one who works equally hard to scupper their progress or sabotage the outcome. The individuals may be too busy and distracted with the task at hand to notice treachery amongst them. Petty rivalry or jealousy could be the driving factor behind the scene. However, it could also be a cunning well-planned strategy. Orders of sabotage may come from an external source, someone higher up the ranks or flying below radar. Their involvement may not be immediately obvious, or perhaps above suspicion. This person may not wish to come out in the open, preferring to let others do their dirty work in their stead. This third-party could be known to the group; a close friend, family member, work colleague, associate, partner, or ex-partner.
We must also look at the imagery to determine if the group of combatant figures are being unreasonably pushed or forced in a negative sense. Has someone a whip to their back, driving them to extreme levels? Here we might see bully-type behaviour. Instead of working towards compromise and tolerance, the figures may be beaten into compliance or submission. They may have no say in the matter and must toe the line or suffer the consequences. They may not want to engage on such an aggressive level with each other, but it might be a case kill or be killed. Depending on the environment they work in, they might also be under pressure to compete or battle against their self, constantly pushing for more, peddling hard, afraid to get left behind.
Although The Five of Wands can simply represent a head of steam releasing, it also flags the potential for trouble if it blows at the one time or is encouraged to continue. Could there be one among the group intent on igniting trouble, using coercion or manipulation to fire tempers or attitudes. Could there already be a leader of the pack who hides among the group inciting rebellious behaviour? He may be the ring leader who leads his mob into such forays. This group might hunt in packs, appearing fierce and formidable when together, but when singled out or separated, are weak and insipid. They might be all mouth and show, with little substance underneath.
Arthur Edward Waite alludes to the scene being one of mimic warfare, again suggesting that it may look worse than it is, or that those who engage in this sham style of fighting mean no intentional harm. It is simply the way of the world as one climbs to the top. Everyone does it. The individual figures expect it to be so, and their opponents would deem it an unworthy fight if they did not have others to challenge them enroute. Without a healthy battle, it could feel a hollow victory for these combatants. The message rings out loud and clear. If you can’t beat them, join them. If you are not in, you can’t win.
Each Wand-bearing participant fears missing out on the action. It is best to be part of the game of life, rather than stand on the side lines. For them, it is the way of the world. They have actively signed up to be part of the rat race of life, the daily commute, the cut throat competition for jobs, promotion, opportunity, gain, success, and of course, love. No one wants to get left behind and are prepared to fight their way through. They hungrily seize upon every opportunity to partake in the games, a chance to make their mark or hit the spotlight. The five figures hold their individual Ace of Wands aloft, ready to put them to maximum use. The Wands ignite the fire in each one.
The sham warfare depicted is not for the faint-hearted. Much courage and conviction is required to stay in the game and last the pace. Each combatant must believe strongly in his chance of victory. Ask any top athlete or sportsperson and they will tell you there is no point entering the competition unless you intend to win. This self-belief must be present, regardless of any odds that are stacked against them. History has shown it is often the underdog, unseeded, or novice competitor that upsets the predictable order of play and medals. He can also upend the betting odds by outrunning or outdoing the favourites. Therefore, only by entering the race, can one hold any realistic expectation of succeeding, or coming out on top. Competing also improves their game. If they work hard and doggedly keep at it, they have every bit a chance as the next to get the upper hand and gain superiority. This is how it is done. If they keep throwing enough Wands at it, some are bound to hit their target. This is typical Wands behaviour, taking a chance, going for it, giving it their all. We don’t see any quitters in this imagery. No one stands on the side-lines, looking dejected or conceding defeat. The combatants may be eventually beaten into the ground by other competitors, but they will have tried their best. If they must go down, it will be fighting. Who knows what the outcome of their endeavours will be. All look equally matched at this point. It is still anyone’s game.
In the imagery of the Five of Wands we get a sense of fair play. Each combatant gives as good as they get without causing any serious injury or harm. Although they individually seek supremacy and are at odds with each other, they do have a collective understanding of what is acceptable behaviour and what is not. There are certain rules, both spoken and unspoken which all are expected to abide by if they are to retain the respect of each other and those who may be overseeing or observing the battle. We see all the Wands brandished high in the air. There are no below the waist, underhand, or sneaky manoeuvres attempted. They each want to win fair and square, with no dispute over the outcome. They totally disassociate from dirty tactics or play, and would be horrified to discover any of their opponents stooping so low. They would be quickly called out should they do so. The group play under the motto of ‘may the best man win’. However, we would be terribly naive to assume they will not push the boundaries of this by seeking every opportunity to get ahead by disabling or disadvantaging their opponents. After all, that is the nature of competition. Of course, they do know where to draw the line with such behaviour, being careful not to break any golden rules that might result in a yellow or red card. All is fair in love and war, but only within acceptable and agreed levels of contact. They do not set out with the intention of seeing any of their fellow competitors stretchered off the pitch. Accidents will happen regardless of good intentions, but they will be just that – accidents, with no malice or spite intended.
We must also look at less sportsman’s like behaviour in the imagery of the Five of Wands as it does hold the potential to tip over into the dark side. In this instance, we find malice and skulduggery aplenty as blows delivered by the Wands intentionally strike below the belt. They aim to inflict injury, or at the very least stop someone in their tracks. Fair play goes out the window as the game becomes dangerous and mean-spirited. Rivalry and jealousy dominate, with cut-throat competitors prepared to do anything to win. A win is a win at the end of the day, the end justifies the means. They may be doubtful of their ability to win by just tactics, so are prepared to stoop low to gain unfair advantage. Ruthless with ambition, they use their Wands to beat others off their path. They do not seek healthy competition, preferring a guarantee of success without honourably earning it. They are prepared to walk over every and anyone to get it, leaving footprints on the backs of those who play by the rules. They are not interested in teaming up with others, or offering a helping hand to those who might be struggling to stay in the game. In this manner, we see the closed approach of the Five as its world narrows down into a pinpoint, with a conceited, self-important, narcissist Wand at its epicentre.
Looking at the imagery of this card from another perspective we might see the five figures as conflicting aspects within the self. The raging battle comes from within this time, and highlights internal struggle, conflicting feelings, attitudes and ideas, that lead to agitation and confusion. The varying personality aspects battle each other to find order, or change the order of things, but opposing forces cause problematic challenges. The person depicted on this level may feel ‘all over the place’, totally ‘at odds’ with their feelings, environment and circumstances. They may seek change, but it might come at a cost. The change sought may not be compatible in all areas of their life. They may change the arrangement of these wands over and over to see how and where they might fit together. Change may be opposed by others who would rather maintain the status quo.
Looking at the Wand bearing figures we might also contemplate them as individual irritations, petty nuisances and trials that stand in the way of us going about our business. It would be nice to walk across the clear field for once, unhindered and unburdened by the demands of daily living and those we are under obligation to. The figures may be seen as interruptions to our day, work, leisure, and quality time spent with partner or loved ones. They might represent the annoying customers, guests, and clients that get in the way of us doing our job. If only they would go away and leave us alone. Everyone is demanding to be seen and dealt with first, each one assuming a sense of great importance and entitlement. One is expected to be here, there, and everywhere – all things to everyone – all at the same time. It is wearing to say the least, and leaves us disgruntled and ill-tempered with everyone. The participants could also be boisterous children, needy family members or demanding partners. Everyone wants a piece of you, now, this second. No one is prepared to wait or give you space. Sometimes things just need to be done, busy times as such when it’s all hands-on deck with much input required of you. From dawn to dusk you’re up against it, chained to the treadmill. Widespread demands could cause a dissipation of vital energy. When will it end? This level of exertion cannot be indefinitely sustained. However, we might find varying levels of contentment in this group. Some may enjoy such a frenetic lifestyle, unable to sit still, unwilling to miss out, while others feel they have no choice, all a constant challenge that drains their energy and resources. What stimulates one, will wear another out. Variation is key here with Five brining fluctuation, unpredictable and often incompatible arrangements. It might be hard to understand where each figure in the imagery stands in this manner.
The scene in the Five of Wands highlights petty squabbles, disagreements and in-house fighting which tend to cause disruption and tension within a certain group or environment. An unsettled atmosphere is created, which like fire, is regularly stoked and refuelled as the situation demands. This quarrelsome bunch could represent family, friends, neighbours, college mates, work colleagues or troubled relationships. There is a need to be constantly at each other’s throats over certain hot topics. This scene could depict the normal everyday dynamics of the group, or a particular situation. Family members may be at loggerheads with each other, airing ancient grievances or dislikes. The group could divide and take sides, creating a situation of us against them. Disputes fail to get resolved as no one is prepared to back down on contentious issues. Some people just can’t get on with each other, or perhaps won’t try. Black is white and white becomes black as those involved refuse to agree on anything or deliberately contradict to stir things up. Life becomes harder than necessary. Peace is neither sought nor desired. Like unruly children, these trying Wands could need constant supervision and overseeing to ensure they don’t get out of hand. Someone may need to referee them.
The clear blue sky symbolises the need for peace through communication. There are no clouds in the sky so the situation is not as bad as it is made out to be. The battle looks worse than it is and those involved in the commotion may be confused at this stage as to what it’s all about, who started it and why it has gone on this long. They somehow got caught up in the drama of it and kept going. There may be nothing to fight about when all is said and done, except battle for battle sake. Perhaps it is a form of habitual behaviour for those represented by the figures in the imagery. Maybe this is their approach to life in general. Must everything be a battle, must they always react in such a manner when things do not go their way? Why the need to be so confrontational? Must there always be a scene wherever they go? Must drama constantly follow in their wake? The imagery could suggest a personality that struggles to stay under control. It doesn’t take much to set them off or ignite strong emotional responses. The disarray of Wands in the imagery could suggest tempers firing in all directions, lashing out indiscriminately. It resembles unsupervised children in the school yard. Games that started out innocently turn into shambles of undisciplined rough-play, as they pick on each other with tit for tat reactions. If such rowdy scenes become regular occurrences, the group will quickly gain a reputation for it. They might be given a wide berth as no one is prepared to put up with their behaviour.
When we look at the scene of intense activity in the Five of Wands we have already noted how eager they are to engage. We might be looking at a group of friends who enthusiastically take on an ambitious project together, with or without the necessary experience required. They are willing to give it a go regardless. Whatever they lack in skills is made up for in their collective self-belief. They showcase a ‘can do’ attitude. It may look like mayhem at the moment as they struggle to find their feet with whatever project they have taken on. There might be a lot of learning on the job, but if they can stick with it, incredible results can be achieved.
The scene in the Five of Wands reminds us of an archetypal ‘barn raising’ where family, friends, and community come together to build or rebuild a barn for someone. Here we find a gathering of individually skilled tradespersons who take time out from their own work, business, or life to lend their experience to another. Hence, we do not have a formal team as depicted by their varying attire.
5 – Disruptive change. Embracing/Resisting Change. Initiating/Forcing Change. Uncertainty and frustration. Chaos. Disturbance and unease in a relationship. Construction/Deconstruction. Unexpected events and issues. Distraction. Competition/Opposition. Assertiveness, confidence, tenacity. Territorial. Interference.
Kabbalistic Tree of Life
5th Sephira, Geburah (Severity/Strength/Judgement/Power). This Sephira brings with it restrictions, chaos and upheaval. Restrictive and eliminating, it can force energy to die if deemed obsolete or unworthy. It holds great authority and judgement over what can stay and what must go. Old outworn or outdated habits and patterns are ripped away to be replaced by new energy. Great power is unleashed in Geburah which can be destructive if handled irresponsibly or deliberately misused. Its power and force must be unleashed for the greater good or it can have devastating consequences. Astrologically this Sephira corresponds with the planet Mars – God of War and Conflict. Energy takes another step closer to creation and manifestation. The birthing or bringing of life into existence is not always easy. Sometimes one must fight to overthrow opposition and obstruction that seeks to block progress and evolution. Geburah helps forming energy battle through, fighting the just cause for survival and overwhelming opponents that work on the lower planes. Geburah clears the path of excess and overabundance.
Corresponding Major Arcana
The Hierophant (V). This Major is quite complicated, carrying both a light and dark side in his energy. Numerically he is linked to the number 5 which is chaotic, unpredictable, ever-changing and destabilising – the very opposite of what the Hierophant stands for and therein may lie the karmic lesson of this major. He is a man of great education, entrenched in long standing tradition and conventional governing – very un-five like. His presence can be associated with restriction, narrowed-beliefs and conventional expectation, but he is the bedrock of stability and constancy. When life is turned upside down and full of uncertainty, it is the Hierophant who will offer a steadying hand and reassure us of the divine order of things. In times of the great trauma and loss Five can bring, we often turn to prayer and religion to guide us through. We seek support that comes with group identity and understanding. The Hierophant is there for us when we need him regardless of how indifferent we are to his presence at other times.
Bound within institutionalised laws and rules, The Hierophant has remained constant in his approach throughout time. He is not one to challenge or overthrow longstanding hierarchies, being at the top of that order himself. Whether he declares it or not, the Hierophant holds great power over our actions, feelings and thoughts. He can make it difficult to remain true to our inner-self, own beliefs and personal direction when they break from the conventional path. His doctrine is deep-rooted within us which can be either a blessing or curse. We can stymie our own progress and growth by fearing what others may think or say about us. We may seek to belong, drawn to the group, eager to fit in, or we can actively remain apart and aloof, revelling in our individuality and uniqueness. Discouraging of individual thought or freedom of expression in favour of group belief systems, The Hierophant stands for conformity and compliancy, which at times can appear repressive depending on how tight his control and how great our desire to do as we please.
The Hierophant is the appointed, or self-appointed spiritual/religious ruler who teaches and guides his congregation in either a group or mob fashion. He instructs them in the ways of the world, religious beliefs, and moral values. It will take great strength of conviction to stand up to the conservative energy of The Hierophant if you do not agree with him. You may also find it hard to get others to rally to your support as his reach and influence is far and wide.
In his Upright Aspect, he represents those who live by conformity, convention and the often-rigid expectations of society. He is the spiritual teacher of duty, morality and group values. He symbolises the conscientious and righteous. When tempted to stray from his path and doctrine, he steps in and saves us from ourselves. Without his guidance and constraint, his flock would fall into disarray, becoming indolent, slothful and immoral, or rebellious and mutinous. He reminds his followers to be mindful of the consequences of their actions should they wander from his tutelage. He observes closely those who seek to question his authority or teachings as they threaten the stability of all he stands for. In his most noble sense, The Hierophant will move with the times, embracing the beliefs of all, making himself available to those in need of his counselling and support, regardless of creed they follow. He is benevolent and compassionate and teaches his followers to do likewise. However, he can be equally intolerant of those who do not share his belief system, dismissing them as unworthy or unjust. He can encourage his flock to think the same.
The Hierophant when Upright resists the energy of Five. He refuses to adapt or be flexible to changing tides of belief or administration. When Reversed, he represents those who challenge conformity, seek change and think outside the box. When Upright he can encourage rigidity and stagnation. His dogma and narrative may not allow for individuality or autonomy. When Reversed, he fosters release, escape and free thinking. We need a healthy balance of The Hierophant, for the extreme of both Upright and Reversed are equally concerning. Somewhere in the middle lies an acceptance and tolerance of both states of mind and manner of existence. His flock, do not need him to access god, or be morally responsible. They are only led to believe this. If The Emperor and Empress have done their work well, their produce will reflect such balance. The Hierophant should not misuse his power for forceful control. He must rise above such tendencies and work only on a spiritually just level. He is but a channel for divine and spiritual knowledge, not the source of it.
Temperance XIV, another Five when its digits are reduced, attempts to find balance and offers healing between the influence of Death (unsettling change) and The Devil (domination and bondage) during times of trauma and change. Death seeks change and release, while The Devil deals in servitude and captivity. It can come down to a decision of staying with the old or moving with the new. Change can be actively avoided or eagerly embraced depending on which energy holds power. Death will seek change and release, while the Devil will hold on by his claws, resisting new ways of being or thinking. Temperance must find a way to strike a deal with both through personal empowerment and integrity. There is a time to change or rebel, and a time to conform and accept. Temperance understands the timing of both. Death and The Devil battle for supremacy. Under the ceremonial robes of The Hierophant, The Devil can lurk. He preaches of only one God, his God, he who must be obeyed. Those who lack the power to question and blindly follow may be unaware of whose true presence they stand in. Temperance will offer the voice of reason through moderation. Temperance does not jump fully into the lake, preferring to keep a balanced perspective on what is going on. There is no ‘all or nothing’ approach with Temperance. Temperance helps those who are heavily under the influence of The Hierophant understand there is more than one way, more than one fix for the situation, it may not be to the liking of others, or what is socially acceptable, but it may work for the individual. Somewhere in between lies the truth, not necessarily on one side or the other. It is not their way or the highway, but must be negotiated. It is Temperance who restrains both Death and The Devil from violently ripping through on their agenda. It will seek a softer approach by calming tempers and soothing the frayed nerves ignited by disruptive change and loss.
The Number Five
Fives in The Minor Arcana represent change and the need for change. Breaking from the normal approach of the Upright aspect being generally more positive, Five changes the order of things. When Upright, it can be rigid and narrow as it resists change or struggles with it. When Reversed it becomes all-embracing and accepting. Because of its overriding erratic nature, both Upright and Reverse Five can bring great extremes. The orientation of Five dictates the manner in which it deals with, or approaches, change. The change brought about by Five is often unexpected or chaotic.
Five rebels and rails against the predictability of Four. It finds the symmetry of Four boring and uninspiring and sets out to disrupt it. It challenges Four to a battle for supremacy. Five wants to show there is more to life than what Four has to offer and asks ‘is this it? Look how you are boxed in, how limited your scope and coverage. How boring to tread the same four corners, day in and day out. Look at the variety of options when a fifth point is added. How interesting and diverse it will be. I can show you, but first I must take apart what you have so carefully put together. Are you up for that?’
Five wants to prove to Four that the world won’t necessarily end should it decide to rearrange itself, or look for new ways of being. However, Four will not be open to such dissention and will stubbornly refuse to budge, holding fast to the structures it has laid in place. Instead of Five accepting this and moving on, it will seek to rattle Four’s cage and foundations. Five does not like to be told ‘no’. It may deliberately knock or kick down the walls of Four, undermining and weakening its strength. This is all high energy and great fun for Five, who as if in a challenge or game, will be keen to see how quickly it can destabilise Four. Four may attempt to barricade the doors and windows against Five that has turned up unannounced in its garden, but Five will find a weak point and gain entry.
Five is not content to go with the flow of what others expect of it. It has an independent streak and fiery spirit and opposes what the Hierophant stands for, sometimes blatantly so. Five changes its mind regularly and rapidly, shifting direction constantly on a whim, or for the sheer thrill of it. It may be hard to keep up with Five as its pattern is random and erratic, its energy shooting out in all directions. It is in constant need of change and will regroup and reform in several stimulating arrangements as it builds momentum, each new formation inspiring and motivating further action. Five brings disturbing impulsive influences that can feel threatening and destabilising. It has no time for the status quo of things. Where order has been allowed settle and form, its natural instinct will be to upend it, to shake it up out of apathy and lethargy and see how far it can push the boundaries.
Five does not recognise or respect margins or parameters, preferring to step over the line, barging its way through and trespassing on private property. It has a free for all attitude and approaches change in a cleansing and cathartic manner. It positively thrives in a sea of uncertainty, chaos, disruption and disorder. However, Five is refreshing, its energy invigorating and revitalising. It is a challenging and testing number, demanding engagement and retaliation. Blatantly competitive and provoking in its manner, it seeks confrontation, not compliancy.
Unlike Four that is opposed to change or resists disturbance, Five embraces it ecstatically. If life becomes too boring or stagnant, it acts as a catalyst, instigating change – often forcing it when resistance is encountered. Five blows the cobwebs away and throws open the curtains on sedate Four, exposing the layers of dust that have gathered when life has become too settled. Five blows out the windows, inviting a hurricane to enter and do as it will. It seeks novelty and change to such an extent it can be irresponsible or thoughtless about the consequences of its actions. Not everyone will feel as exuberantly about change and disruption as Five does, but it may not take that into consideration, deeming its presence a breath of fresh air and long overdue. In its negative sense Five can force change in a selfish manner, without a thought for those who are happy as they are. It is quite ready to throw a grenade in the door, causing great destruction and upset.
Five is flexible and adaptable, able to pack its bags in minutes and head off into uncertainty without a plan of action. Five finds it tough, even impossible, to put down roots or stay in one place for too long. It likes to try out several ways of being. Just when it appears to settle, it is up and off once more. It is a huge risk taker, and will push the boundaries of convention and society, possibly causing upheaval along the way and intense irritation to others. Five goes its own way and no amount of emotional appeals will get it to conform. Five will be admired by those who respect its spirit and dynamic nature, but will be held in contempt by those who disapprove of its wayward behaviour.
As much as Five is a strongly competitive number, it’s not a team player. It does not like to be bound to group thought or conformity so will avoid being drawn into clubs or organisations that seek to force upon it their dogma, rules and regulations. It likes to play by its own rules, make up its own mind, do its own thing and go its own way. Five will aggressively resist and rebel against stifling attitudes and will be quick to offer its opinion in a confrontational manner. It does not hold back, does not stand on ceremony and does not take prisoners. It lives by its own ideals and beliefs. As a result, Five will be opposed to religion in most forms, viewing it controlling and restricting. Five must follow its own path.
Five’s has an agenda that seeks freedom. This desire for freedom makes it hard to control. Five can quickly get out of hand if no self-discipline is applied. It has very strong opinions and will not be afraid to voice them, irrespective of how controversial they may be. Five can get into overheated debates about certain topics. In this negative aspect, it lacks self-discipline and may not think before it acts. It may become uncaring about the impact of its behaviour on others. Five can also fall into bad company with its daredevil attitude and scant regard for appropriate behaviour. Its craving of novelty and distraction may lead it into trouble with no sense of the consequences involved.
Five’s sense of fun and games can end in tears if behaviour goes unchecked. It can get a bit rough. Not everyone sees the humour of Five who declares it all fun and sport with no harm intended. Good intentions or not, Five can bring chaos and massive disruption in its wake. It chases drama and can be wild and wilful. Its need for constant stimulation can see it stir up trouble just to get a response. It is both active and reactive. It likes to get embroiled in whatever drama it has created, enjoying the fallout and explosive reactions of others. Five is mercurial in nature so will be hard to pin down. What it wants today, it may not want tomorrow, or even in the next hour. It likes to remain foot loose and fancy-free which can cause problems where relationships are concerned. The energy of Five will cause restlessness and agitation between partners. It does not like to be tied down, or feel stifled and smothered. Five will get bored with any situation that becomes monotonous and tedious. It will happily flit from job to job or jump from one career to another as it ventures through life. It moves in all directions; forwards, backwards, from side to side and up and down. It may be difficult to determine if it is in a state of progression or regression, or whether it’s star is in ascent or descent, if it is building or destroying. Anyone wishing to know what tomorrow and the next week is likely to bring, will find Five an uncomfortable bed fellow.
Five is a transient number, it lives by the code of impermanence, disinterested in becoming overly attached to anything or anyone. Life is constantly changing for Five so it can grow rapidly jaded in love as its attention span is limited. It may prefer variety and turnover in love, not commitment and steadiness. Five is a natural flirt and prone to indulging its physical cravings. It does little to restrain such urges and cannot be relied upon to behave appropriately when not overseen or supervised. Five can have a string of broken relationships.
Five has a curiosity that is quite charming. It likes to experience everything at least once, and in a very direct manner. It is not afraid to make mistakes or learn hard lessons. It will enthusiastically throw itself into the foray of life and likes to be kept busy and active. It cannot grow or flourish without new experiences. Five does not follow the crowd and can often stand out from it. It is the party animal, the exhibitionist, the eccentric who raises hell and causes riots. Expect the unexpected when Five is around.
Part of the challenge for Five is knowing when enough is enough where change is concerned. Change and novelty can become addictive. Five’s energy dilutes and dissipates when too much change occurs around it. It becomes scattered and unproductive. It may think it is progressing but can become even more locked in than Four if all the mad peddling is getting nowhere. It craves too much at one time. If Five does not attempt to apply self-discipline, it can fail to master any area of life. It will know a little bit about everything but not enough about anything to be useful. With Five firing off in so many directions, it might find it difficult to finish things it starts. Indeed, Five may have many false starts due to its hasty and impulsive nature. It arrives too rapidly at decisions, or doesn’t wait to make one. Ready or not, it jumps in and discovers only too soon it should have waited or taken another approach. Its interest drops instantly as another impulsive urge takes over.
Life is never dull, and never far from a drama with Five around. With Five being a reactive number and its energy combustible and explosive, it can have a volatile nature. Its strong opinions can become overly-forceful. Arguments can turn into heated debates or massive rows as tempers ignite and rub each other the wrong way. Five can be demanding and irritating, getting in people’s faces and on their nerves. This eruptive nature can easily lead it into trouble. The positive Five that is the standard bearer for freedom, individuality and independent thinking may not apply that to anyone but itself. It might attempt to force its way and stifle the freedom of others. It can seek supremacy through brute force. It will resist and oppose change and block the path for others who seek it. Five can become rigid and unbending. Extreme negative Five can become dark and disturbing, its desire to try new things can lead it into unethical and immoral practices. It can also lose control of its physical appetite and indulge in excess of the senses leading it into ever darkening territory.
In negative mode, Five can also fear change, lacks energy and excitement. It becomes sedate and stagnant. Afraid of the great big world beyond its horizon, it stays tied to the apron strings of Four. Instead of learning from direct experience, it accepts what is told or instructed by others without question or curiosity. It’s view of life and the world, the hand-me-down of another. In this manner, Five will stick close to the Hierophant and choose group identity over autonomy.
The Five of Wands – Its Role
Each Element has its own destiny to fulfil. Therefore, The Five of Wands’ Elemental duty is to Fire – to initiate change and activity for the purpose of continued progress and growth. After a period of passivity and controlled order in the Four of Wands, the Five struggles with the ongoing rules and regulations of The Emperor. For a time, it was content with the settled mature existence that was expected of it. It spent time consolidating its achievements and effort, turning them into something of worth and substance. It felt very grown up as it committed to a more conventional lifestyle. Roots were put down, foundations laid, walls erected and a roof sealed the lid on their new environment. Boundary lines were established with fences and gates to separate them from the outside world, threat, and those who did not belong. There was contentment and appreciation aplenty as the Wands counted their many blessings and basked in the glowing warmth of their family and friends. They knew where they had come from, where they now rested, and could count on what tomorrow would bring. They had strived to achieve this goal, the first major milestone on their journey.
For many Wands, there was a sense of having arrived home, of having achieved the ultimate success, but we were reminded of how limiting that might be. With not even half the journey complete, could they realistically assume that that was that, that they had achieved it all at such an early stage? Some Wands believed so, replacing their backpack for sensible family suitcases instead. They had all they needed and were prepared to work with what they had, developing it to the best of their ability. They did not sacrifice their Wands’ spirit but compromised on it instead. They were happy.
For other Wands, there was an understanding of having arrived at only their first major goal. They would work within the confines of that goal until they were free to pursue their next. Where they found themselves in the Four of Wands was only ever going to be a stop-gap, a stepping stone on their way to even greater achievements. These were the Wand couples or families who lived in meagre or moderate accommodation while they built their dream homes or established business enterprises. Although it looked like they had settled, were here to stay, in truth they were only passing through. Their roots never sank so deep that they couldn’t be pulled up if and when necessary. They had an ambitious vision that didn’t stop at The Four.
And then there were The Wands who didn’t think too much at all about what the Four might mean for them long-term. They went with the flow, just thinking of today, in search of instant gratification and novelty. The Four of Wands carried a holiday vibe for them, something out of the norm where they could think, ‘ain’t this the life’? But the novelty of it would soon wear off, the sun would not shine so brightly, the habit and routine of their environment becoming claustrophobic and smothering. The Four would inevitably lose its appeal and they would wander to the boundaries of their domain to peer out at the world that was going on without them. They would become restless with longing to step over the line and wander into new territory or someone else’s. They had explored all they could in their own and were already bored with it. They became distracted by the comings and goings of the free people on the outside, imagining their lives to be more exciting and diverse. They yearned for the days of their backpack and nomadic existence. Life was what was happening in the outside world, not what they had come to accept in their own. At every corner of their domain stood The Emperor, or signs of him. His law and rule governed their life and for a while, the Wands agreed to obey his direction.
Things have now changed. The Hierophant has arrived bringing even further conformity and curtailment. Not only must the Wands adhere to the law set out by man, they must also follow a certain code of moral and spiritual conduct. The Hierophant also introduces the resident’s committee into their lives, complete with the dos and don’ts of being accepted into the community. They had happily bought into this arrangement, presuming to be able to come and go, dip in and out, do as they please, but this is not the case. Much is expected of them. They cannot be permitted to operate outside the ethos of those they live and work among. They must agree to toe the line and not just pay lip service to it. They are instructed in the way of their new world and learn it has a hierarchy and system of protocol that must be followed. They are told how to act, where they can go, what they should say and what is not tolerated. The Wands grow increasingly frustrated in their world, feeling the four walls close in on them, deeply irked by the confined channels they move in. It has all become too much and something needs to be done. However, the Wands may be quite alone in their reactions. Those they established roots with in the Four, might be very content with the way things are under the blessing of The Hierophant. This is perfectly normal, how the world works and what everyone else does. They now have the backing of so many who have gone before them, who signed up for this same life and will defend it against the Wand types who cast aspersions on it.
For Wands who made the formal commitment of marriage, The Hierophant reminds them of the contract they have entered. What God has joined, let no man take apart. In uniting under the eyes of God, their church, family and friends, it brings a sense of permanence with it. Whether the Wands took it seriously or not at the time, they are now bound by the duty, commitment and moral obligation that comes with marital contract. They are no longer foot loose and fancy free. They must live their lives by both the law of the land, through The Emperor, and the Law of God, through The Hierophant. Both will be enforced. It will not be so easy to walk away or to change mind, for many eyes are watching and ready to intercede.
Drowning in a sea of rule books and set expectations, rebellious and mutinous Wands rise up against The Emperor and Hierophant. Life cannot stay as is, something must give and if it won’t come about by natural means, the Wands must force it. Change is coming down the tracks, actively encouraged and accelerated by those who have grown jaded with their current status. There is more life to be experienced, new ways of being and further lessons to learn. Much of this can be found where they rest in the Four, but the restless Wands do not fully appreciate this. Instead of looking to enliven or enrich what they have, it is deemed obsolete and outdated. They are only interested in what they have not got. The help of Temperance is needed to assist the Wands negotiate a deal that will moderate their environment and life, making it more palatable for them. A bit of give and take is needed. However, the Wands may not wish to strike a deal right not, preferring a less balanced approach to their issues.
The Wands need to shed their skin and slip the chains of their present existence be it physically, mentally or emotionally. They must move on, upend what is there, cast out the safe and familiar in a search of a new look and way of being. They are seeking a makeover and reshuffle. There is a panicked realisation of being only half-way through their journey. Have they wasted too much time already? What have they missed out on by hanging around the Four indefinitely? In the Five of Wands we find them hastily packing bags, selling up, tearing down, re-building, leaving town and disturbing the status quo that has afforded them security and stability. In the Five of Wands we see them blatantly stir up trouble and disruption as their Fifth Wand, fully ablaze, is catapulted into the midst of their environment, without or without warning to those who reside within. The Five of Wands seeks change and won’t stop until it finds it. It may leave a trail of disaster in its wake. Neither The Emperor, nor Hierophant can exert control over it. It will do its own thing irrespective of how many laws and rules it breaks, or who it hurts in the process.
The Five of Wands tears up the rule books of The Emperor and Hierophant and begins to write its own. Its energy explodes, the Wands splitting in several directions all at once. It is unclear what is happening and where it all will end. Drama, mayhem and chaos will rule the day. Expect the unexpected for that is the only thing that can be relied on.
We have now reached the mid-point of the Wand’s journey through Love with Fire. Except for a mild bit of uncertainty, or hesitation in the Two, the Wands have had a clear run of it when Upright. Fire likes to travel and expand. It does not like to be held back or restricted. It is a positive forward flowing energy that thrives on momentum and enthusiasm. From the Ace to Four, it has pretty much run unrestricted and bathed in the glow of everything working out. It has had its way most of the time. The sun has shone down on the Upright Wands, making them feel blessed and joyful. There was much to celebrate, with no issues to bother about.
The Five changes matters, and for the first time, Fire’s path is blocked or challenged. Fire will aim to go over, under and around any obstacles, if going through them seems tedious or unsettling. The jubilant and triumphant Fire is disturbed, and it is unsure how it will react. Fire in a healthy state will choose to work through the challenge or obstacle, before continuing on its path as it is not a quitter. It may take time to work it out, but it is the best way. Avoiding the challenge or obstacle may seem like a quick fix, but this challenge will be encountered again and again until it is acted on. Transitioning through Five for Wands is extremely significant. How they handle the issues thrown up by Five could determine how successful their relationship is in the long run. It is a very defining time for them. This is the first real dilemma they have come up against in their relationship.
We must hold on to the knowledge, that the Five of Wands is but a Minor Arcana, and therefore quite transient in nature. Although its energy may be causing a bit of drama, it might not be dreadfully serious, perhaps a phase they are going through. If they cannot successfully work through issues at a Minor Arcana level, how will they cope with even greater ones in the future that carry the weight of Majors? Surrounding cards in a reading should throw light onto how concerned one should be with the disruptive impact of Five. On its own, it might be viewed as a flash-fire that flares up menacingly, only to fizzle out rapidly. It has but a limited supply of fuel to sustain it. The fire can be extinguished without much fuss or inconvenience, and may be easily forgotten about. No need to call the Fire Brigade or jump from the bedroom windows just yet. However, the merest glimpse of fire might be enough to spur flight. Fire after all is not to be taken lightly. We all know how even the smallest spark can lead to disastrous consequences. Therefore, it may be viewed as far more serious than it is. Then there are those who accept there is no smoke without Fire. Although it is just smouldering, not yet caught light, its very presence suggests damage occurring behind the scenes. This damage may not be noticeable on the surface as the smoke has not filtered through just yet, or is perhaps being ignored. It lies in wait for a sudden draft or trigger to ignite it to full fury. When it does, it will take more than a bucket of water or fire blanket to extinguish it. Restless Fire should never go unchecked.
Wands, driven by Fire are positive and optimistic when Upright. They should be well equipped to tackle Five and determinedly see it through. Relationships experience their first bump in the road and may feel rattled. Their foundations will be tested for signs of any weakness or fault lines. If a relationship has been built out of the Reversed Ace, Reversed, Two, Reversed, Three and Reversed Four, The Five has the potential to take it down. Incompatibility, superficial feelings, and loose commitment will be exposed by Five. This could mark the end of the journey for some relationships as they hit a defining rough patch. The Five will separate the wheat from the chaff in relationships. Only strong, positive, committed ones will be permitted to journey on in the Upright Aspect. Weak, negative or unhealthy relationships can continue, but they may fall from one Reversed Aspect to another. The challenge for relationships is to battle through the Five and emerge triumphantly the other side, or concede defeat and withdraw.
The Five of Wands can be a tricky card to read as it carries shifting energy. It really depends on the theme of surrounding cards and the querant’s issue. On one level, it is an assertive positive card, full of life and activity, but on another level, it is overpowering, aggressive and challenging, even when upright. Your reaction to this card may bring relief or panic as a situation blows wide open. One may not be sure if it would be best in Reverse as it does suggest a more balanced energy.
However, Reversed cards can bring in extremes of the Upright energy. In this case, the Five of Wands is chaotic and challenging enough when Upright. Why might we look for even more in the Reverse? It is probably best to read both Upright and Reverse interpretations when looking for extremes. In the Five of Wands a battle has already broken out, so we are in the midst of chaos. When it Reverses, sides have been taken, the attack scaled up, or have backed down. Whatever way you look at it, there is change and upheaval that cannot be escaped. Brushing issues under the carpet or attempting to look the other way will not work as the issue is already upon you. You cannot escape into the Upright and make it all go away, as something is up regardless of which direction the card is pointing. You might have to think on your feet as you try to work your way out. This is not a peaceful time. It will however be interesting, and it would be wise to sit up and take note of what is actually going on. Knowledge gained now will stand to you in the future. Chaos does have a habit of taking us by surprise, but when the going gets tough the tough get going.
The Four Fives In Tarot
In the Tarot represent change and each Suit shows how it approaches change. The change implied in the Tarot is not always well received or welcome. The Change is often associated with conflict, stress, upset and loss. The Wands approach this change as if it were a challenge. Rising to the occasion and enjoying the conflict it brings, the challenge of their Five releases their fiercely competitive spirit, burning ambition and fearlessness. The Cups, being sentimental and emotional resist the change their Five forces upon them and mourn the loss it brings. The Swords’ need for inner change forces them into external clashes and arguments which can sometimes brim over into aggression and violence. The Pentacles experience a terrible change in circumstances when they lack financially or become physically ill.
The Fives cause chaos and disorder and we can become vulnerable to the influence of others’ negativity during this time. Our behaviour can strongly alter when exposed to stress and upset. We can also think just of ourselves, blinkered to the needs or feelings of others during times of personal upheaval. The change or transition the Fives bring to the Four Suits can be difficult and sometimes traumatic. In their Reverse aspect, they become more open-minded and willing to accept change and the losses associated with it. This unusual association of a Reversed card being more positive than when Upright, is influenced by the number Five, which in numerology brings change, conflict, stress and the unexpected when Upright, but less so when Reversed. In times of great change and disorder, we might seek the Reversed Five, to lessen the blow, or as a sign that difficulty is coming to an end. However, as with all Reversals, it would be unwise to assume that trouble is lessening unless surrounding cards suggest it. Reversals bring extremes and the upheaval of the Upright Five may bring even more trouble to bear when Reversed if surrounding cards point in that direction, and if that’s what is being experienced. Disagreements turn into major rows, demands become overbearing, battle lines are drawn, aggression builds, calamity abounds and change is overwhelmingly destructive.
The Fives in Tarot when Upright tend to resist change, become narrow-minded, negative, rigid and unyielding. The influence of Five loses its powerful grip when Reversed as it falls between the influence of the Four and Six, both balancing and harmonising numbers. Then change and transition are accepted and dealt with, allowing life to settle and healing occur.
After their period of stability, building resources, consolidation and preparation, the Universe shifts gear and jolts the Four Suits back into mainstream life once more. Change is needed to shift them out of individual ruts, mind-sets, lifestyles and behaviour. Up until now, they may have felt somewhat in control of life and had a certain idea of how things would run for the rest of their journey. The arrival of the energy of Five throws curve balls at them from out of the blue, some traumatic and destabilising. Some may have felt the energy of Five building over a period of time and are not totally surprised by the turn of events, while others remained blissfully ignorant of the rapidly approaching upheaval in their lives. Like a runaway train, Five comes hurtling down the tracks, eager to cause as much disturbance as possible. However, every cloud has a silver lining, even the Five Cloud. What is one person’s misfortune can turn out to be someone else’s gain. Also, without Five, the Suits would never fully appreciate the oasis that Four and Six offer, or the sense of achievement gained in the Ten. Without challenge, the Suits will not progress and evolve, the full human existence not truly experienced.
The effect of the energy of Five on the Four Suits is interesting to observe but also gives us excellent insight into how these archetypal characters respond to challenges and difficulties. They have all experienced a few bumps along the way but apart from the Suit of Swords in Card 2, 3 and 4, it is really their first taste of disruption or loss. If they had hoped for a clear run and smooth travel throughout their Suits they are sadly delusional. This is life in the full human sense. No one can march through it untouched.
Ideally, one does not want to encounter too many Fives in a reading for obvious reasons. However, there is very little gain without pain and it is all part of the learning process of life. Sometimes the lessons we need to learn come fast and furious, all at the one time, unrelenting and devastating. Other times, they are drip fed to us at a more tolerable pace, giving us time and space to deal with them individually. If we fail to attend to our lessons, allowing them to build unchecked in the background, a time will come when they burst the dam and flood in on top of us.
***One Five in a reading normally represents problems or upheavals in the area of life dictated by the Suit. One Five does not point to major issues. The situation with a bit of effort can be sorted. The cards that surround the Five would determine what the issue may be, how serious it is and who is involved. One Five suggests a possible flare up or flash-fire, with the potential for drama. It is likely to be transient, any disruption or upheaval, short-lived. A single Five could point to disquiet within, or an irritating external presence.
Two or more Fives in a reading suggest a period of difficult changes and upheavals. Life may feel upended and the individual totally lost as to how to fix things or find peace and stability. Irritation and frustration will be evident. It is as if life is thwarting you at every available opportunity. Two Fives can highlight conflict between the need for personal change and those who oppose it.
If all Four Fives appear and are grouped close to each other it can suggest problems which are ongoing; arguments that have reached a stalemate – no one is backing down or prepared to change. There is much drama, stress and upset. Several Fives in a Reading can suggest a loss of control. Life as you know it has fragmented before your eyes. You may not know how to respond. The presence of numerous Fives could point to a general discontent with life and the need for radical change. Disruption and chaos are welcomed as forced change clears the boards. Three or more Fives can imply you are surrounded by strong competition, work in a very competitive environment, or are involved in a competitive relationship. It could reflect an obsession with outdoing everyone else, needing to be the best, always having to win. There may be a combative personality streak where everyone is perceived as an opponent wishing to claim your territory. Several Upright Fives could suggest the odds or on your side where a battle is concerned as you. They can also suggest the need to win at all costs.
Several Fives could imply difficulty in committing or following through. There may be too many false starts and not enough completion. It highlights superficial knowledge as opposed to mastery. A personality easily distracted by novelty. If the Fives are spaced out the Querant is probably experiencing change and difficulty in several areas of life at the one time. This may be the result of a knock-on effect from an earlier originating issue. Look to the other cards for clues, especially Past and Surrounding Energy Positions.
When Fives appear reversed the querant is open to, or has managed to accept any changes that have come their way. If several reversed Fives appear, the individual has freed them self, or come out of a period of dreadful discord and upset in their lives. They may now view their experience as life-changing and cleansing. Great personal power and inner-strength was needed to escape the strong influence of so many Fives. They will not forget this time too easily and are bound to have learned much from their experiences. Their card reading and personal story should be very interesting and inspiring.
Reversed Fives can suggest a fear of change or new experiences. There may be rigidity and stagnation in the areas of life suggested by the Suit. Numerous Fives can point to litigation or disputes that have escalated. They can also highlight forceful behaviour or groups that bully or harass. Their presence can suggest intimidation and unpleasant situations. Competition may be healthy or cut-throat when Fives appear Reversed.
A lack of Fives in a reading may possibly suggest a trouble-free time for the querant when life is running smooth and easy.
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Five – Blowing things out of proportion, Change, Fighting for/against Change, Disruption, Conflict, Feeling Conflicted, Competition for the one you love. Competitive Relationship, External Interference, Relationship going through a rough time. Incompatibility, Lack of Compromise, Fire-Fighting, External/Internal Demands, No Time for love/romance/your partner. Bickering, fighting, arguments and clashes of personality. Egos. Difficult babies/children. Large families.
Yes or No Card – Yes, to good healthy competition. Yes to sticking with it. Yes, to rising to challenge. No to petty arguments and rivalry. No to aggression. No, find order first. Too chaotic.
**Important Information On Sex Interpretations**
The Sex Interpretations provided below are not based on any specific traditional ones. I have not sourced them from other teaching systems. They are compiled from intuitive study, analysis of imagery, intellectual deduction, elemental archetypal association, numerical attributes and upright/reversal orientation. They should be used as prompters, musings, theories, contemplations, issues for debate, but not as direct interpretation unless you feel very confident and assured of their accuracy. Interpretations pertaining to sex should not be used in readings where you seek information on a third party, such as your partner, or someone else. You are unlikely to glean much accurate information and may upset yourself in the process. The sex interpretations offered are for self-analysis and self-exploration.
Whereas romance, love and relationships are covered when learning tarot, and found in every book about subject, the area of sex is often over-looked, or avoided. Sexually themed tarot decks are now readily available, with suggestive or explicit imagery. These would not be decks used on a general basis, but might be useful when wishing to explore your sexuality as an individual or couple through the medium of tarot. The cards can throw up repressed sexual issues, sexual insecurities and sexual reassurance along with advice and suggestions for improving your sex life. You may learn a lot about how your attitude to sex and sexuality formed since childhood through parental influence, education, community and culture, religious influence, peer influence and natural inclinations. Your approach to sex will also be directly and indirectly influenced by your experiences in relationships, your first sexual encounter and the personalities you attract. The tarot can help discover your true sexual nature.
Interpretations pertaining to sex are very subjective. The presence of The Five of Wands alone in any reading, even about sex, does not imply any one of these meanings. Cards are read in conjunction with other cards based on the question asked, the intention set and the nature of the querant. Checking up on the status of your partner and drawing a Five of Wands does not suggest he or she is off having sex with multiple partners or into kinky or fetish behaviour. They are provided as alternative interpretations which might be useful when conducting a reading based on the sexual side of your own life. This would be a very specific and extremely personal reading, with very definite intentions – very far removed from a general relationship reading.
The Five of Wands generally brings change in its wake. In its Upright Aspect, change is either embraced and viewed as an interesting challenge, or is fought against and resisted. Your relationship may be changing and there is a lot of uncertainty about it. There has been a shift in energy which will bring couples closer together or drive them apart. Your relationship may have plateaued for some time, fallen into a way of being, just drifting along. Something has, or will happen, that could cause upheaval with the need for a fresh approach. One partner may have grown bored with the current trend and is taking steps to address it. This will leave the other partner on shaky ground as suddenly the relationship as they know it cannot be relied on. There could be a mad scramble to fix things, to bring it back to the way it was. This may not be the answer. It might be the very last thing required. Your relationship needs a reshuffle or shake-up. Time to pull all those wands out and check for signs of dry rot or lack of growth. Some of them may be quite lifeless and in need of attention, sunshine, heat, and hydration. Some may not work anymore or are obsolete. Certain Wands might need to be replaced. Reconstruct them in a manner which will facilitate revival and encourage new growth. Add something new and interesting to the mix. Go for a new look. Change is upon you. Try and be open to healthy change. Work with the situation as it evolves. Your relationship is in transition and may not be recognisable in the process. Hang on to see how it emerges on the other side. You might be pleasantly surprised. Don’t think negatively about how altered the situation has become. Sometimes a change is as good as a rest.
Trying A Fresh Approach – Implementing Change
The Five of Wands in a relationship reading could highlight a couple trying a fresh approach. This could be down to a mutual agreement to reshuffle a way of living that has become too predictable or boring. As a couple, you may have discussed what you could do to enliven or enrich your relationship. It could come down to cutting down on eating dinner in front of the TV in favour of getting out and about, or deciding to overhaul and redecorate the house that has become drab and lifeless. You may decide to take up a sport or go walking or running. You might tackle your eating habits by exploring new recipes and making everything from scratch.
It has been decided that change is needed as the old way no longer works, does not serve your purpose or is having a negative impact on the relationship. A reshuffle is needed which may affect work arrangements, careers, lifestyle expectations, your social scene, child rearing and even the attitude you have towards each other. The changes sought might bring you into unconventional territory if you are thinking along radical lines. You may be keen to tear up the rules that have dictated how you live and conduct your life up to now. Hopefully your partner or spouse will be on board with you and want this change just as much as you do. If not, then prepare for some major opposition. They may not see things as you do. The change suggested might be too extreme or scary.
Bracing Yourself For Change
The Five of Wands brings change. The change associated with this card is often viewed in a negative light. Sometimes it is negative, but other times it’s not. If you have been given notice of the change or have sensed its imminent arrival, you may have time to put together some form of working strategy to cope with it. One way or another, life as you know it is about to change and it could be quite disturbing or unsettling until it is accepted. Many of us tend to fight against change as it disrupts our life and routines. Even positive change can be unsettling. Life is in constant flux, good times come and go, difficult times seem to last forever. We keep moving on with the energy and must work with what we have at any given time. Couples facing change approaching their relationship can either go about their business and try to ignore it, or sit down and discuss what these changes might mean for them and how they will handle them. Then again, it might be left to one partner dealing with the change and taking on the responsibility for it. The other partner may not believe they can cope with such change.
We also have the possibility of both partners reacting to change in differing ways. We all have our own coping strategies. For one partner the change may be viewed as colossal, while the other partner does not see it as such a big deal. If partners’ approach to change clash, then prepare for trouble. It is unlikely you will see eye to eye and could get annoyed or angry with each other. As a couple, you are going through a life adjustment, that although not earth shattering, does have the potential to take its toll on your relationship if you let it. If you do have pre-warning, don’t wait until the change is upon you to get your act together. Pull together now and decide what can be done.
Change can descend upon a couple overnight or within seconds. You might be in the middle of change before you realise it. There is no time to adjust or plan. You must think on your feet and work it out as you go. Tempers might flare as you enter a flustered state of chaos. If you recognise your relationship in this, it is likely you are taking it out on each other. You may not be listening to what your partner says and vice versa. Fiery energy will be strong as egos ignite. There is no plan, just excessive activity. For the moment, you are not coping well with such change.
If you have allowed your relationship to slide into a rut, or have become laid back about your partner, The Five of Wands appearing will force you to wake up and take stock. Change may be vital to the survival of your relationship right now, even though you may not see it that way. Instead of fighting change, see how it might benefit you. It could re-energise your connection. At the very least it has stirred things up and made you act. Couples often emerge stronger after their relationship has been tested or challenged. They will fight to survive.
Goal Posts Keep Shifting
In this interpretation, we find a relationship that cannot settle. It might suggest a romance that blows hot and cold, is on one day, and off the next. Couples cannot decide what to do with it. There may be several attempts to establish order, with partners defining what needs to change but their vision might be too narrow. They may not be agreed on where the problem lies or have conflicting views on resolving them. They muddle on nonetheless, haphazardly scrambling through each day. Their issues require a multi-discipline approach, not blinkered focus.
Problems exist in several areas of their relationship all at the same time. They could hop from one to the other attempting to patch and glue as they go, but the repair is only ever temporary. Frustration and despair leads to impulsive decisions that in themselves are not constant either. There could be temporary break-ups where partners are free to date others. Invariably they think the better of it and get back together again. This behaviour can become habitual. Friends and family find it hard to keep up with the relationship status as it swings between current and ancient history, on and off, a disaster one moment, then a success the next. Partners are the worst in the world one day, moaned about to all and sundry, only to be aggressively defended the next. This couple probably need to swear off each other for a period of time as they lack discipline and stamina in settling on the direction they want to head. They continue to yank up any roots that are beginning to take hold, leaving the relationship a barren, pock-marked wasteland. They make it too easy to get back with each other. Someone needs to break this cycle and change the course once and for all.
The appearance of the Five of Wands can suggest a challenging relationship. Most relationships go through their ups and downs and can be a bit stop and start at the beginning, but the relationship suggested by the Five points to it bringing more problems than benefits. This card could be highlighting a pattern you have when seeking partners and forming relationships. Is it possible you feel drawn to drama and trouble whenever you start dating someone? Are you constantly in the wars with your partner? Is there never a quiet time between you? The Five of Wands implies getting into fracas where love is concerned. You might like being the centre of attention with your friends as you scandalise them with your ongoing soap opera. Do you find the need to contact friends in the middle of the night or at awkward times, to fill them in on the latest tear-filled drama in your love life? Do your friends feed off your stories, being enraged with you and encouraging further spats. Do you encourage an attitude of complete blame on your partner’s side with you being squeaky clean of any wrong doing? Are you being constantly told to dump him/her, that they are no good for you, never going to change and that you are wasting your time, and are not happy? Do you agree but continue to push forward with the relationship regardless? Why is it all your relationships to date are riddled with issues and strife? Perhaps you would find a regular down to earth relationship quite boring if you crave constant toxic interactions. The problem may lie with you and your habitual choice of partner. Love shouldn’t be so challenging.
Challenging relationships sometimes just happen. You meet someone really nice and start dating, but in no time at all, stress that wasn’t there before enters your life. There is always a calamity or problem you could do without. You might receive phone calls to your work from a partner who is in trouble and needs help. You seem to be sorting issues constantly and wonder what will be next. You get used to answering the phone to your partner asking ‘is everything okay, is there a problem?’ instead of ‘hi, great to hear from you’. A relationship can lose its warmth and light if it becomes too serious and bogged down in ongoing crisis at an early stage. No one can second guess issues that will arise as a relationship evolves, but if it starts out in this manner, you must ask why? You could inherit someone else’s problems in a new partner as you take over from where their ex left off. You could be dealing with a partner who manages to get into trouble, parties too much, causes rows wherever they go, drinks too much and flirts too much. They could be quite a handful to deal with. You might think you will tame them, but if their last partner failed, you probably will too.
Challenging relationships can occur where there are certain external obstacles to overcome. If there is opposition to the match from families on either side, it might feel like an uphill battle to get accepted. When you should be concentrating on getting to know each other better and enjoying time together, you must deal with ongoing upsetting interference.
Challenge could come in several forms. Your careers, work schedules, location, external demands and obligations could prove tricky to work around. They seem to clash and make seeing each other a logistic feat of strategic planning and mastery. It certainly is proving hard work. However, The Five of Wands suggests that where there is a will there is a way, so hang in there. With a positive spirit and great determination, you will get there. It will settle.
A Fiery Relationship – Love is a Battlefield
The Five of Wands often suggests a fiery relationship. The couple in question generally follow a certain behavioural pattern in their relationship and enjoy a bit of regular drama. In general, they are in good form and really know how to enjoy themselves and are very sociable. They are likely to put up with quite a bit of bad behaviour from each other. However, on occasions all hell breaks loose between them, and boy do they know how to row when it does. They are quite shameless and very loud. A minor situation can blow up into a tornado at lightning speed. The triggers can vary. You may not have responded to your partner in the manner they expected. A look you gave could be misinterpreted as an insult. Someone dredges up the remnants of the last quarrel and reignites it, a partner makes smart remarks, especially in front of others. Really anything can start it, but at times one partner will deliberately go looking for it, playing up until he or she gets the right response. The other partner knows they are being provoked and instead of letting it go over their head, come out fighting instead.
This fieriness can happen anywhere and the couple do not try to hide or conceal the row. Instead, they often perform best in front of an audience. Dirty laundry is aired for all to hear with no holding back. They are likely to cause scenes and draw attention to themselves, especially if they have been drinking. Friends on both sides can join in, or rush to intercede. Accusations and insinuations are taken to extremes. If these are your neighbours it is likely you have heard them at it before, as they have quite a name for it. Scenes can be taken out to the front garden, with neighbours trying desperately to look the other way. They might throw objects at each other, or smash things on the floor. Phone calls will be made to friends filling them in on all the gory details, keeping the drama going.
Eventually the fire burns out and tempers calm. There may be a period of frostiness between them, but usually they are back to normal in a few days. This relationship can be very strong, and has the potential to last once both partners do not take their outbursts too seriously. Different strokes for different folks. For many couples, a fiery relationship keeps them on their toes. The make-ups can be just as intense as the bust-ups.
Honeymoon is Over – Teething Problems
After the Four of Wands’ glory days; engagements, weddings, celebration have passed, couples can have a hard time coming back down to earth. The honeymoon is over and it is back to reality. This can indicate a time of unrest, when you feel there is something wrong with having nothing to do, other than going to work and home again. You may be at odds about what to do next. It is at this stage recently married couples, or those who have moved in together, may experience some teething problems as they struggle with their new living arrangements, status and close proximity. Partners may get things wrong and make mistakes that could upset the other partner. You might feel you are walking on eggshells, wary of doing or saying the wrong thing. Your partner could be unreasonably irritable with you, snapping at your heels, leaving you confused and uncertain. In The Five of Wands, we find a couple who are working their way through some challenges, nothing major, but frustrating nonetheless. There might be silly rows during this time as you find your way with each other, but unless there are further stressful cards in the reading, life should settle down. It is best not to take life, or each other too seriously, as this is a time of testing transition.
Trouble In Paradise
In The Four of Wands, we visited a happy couple who seemed to be living the dream and had it all. This was a popular match and much effort had gone into having the perfect day. Everyone was invited to the celebrations and guests admired the happy couple, some feeling slightly envious of their luck and good fortune in finding each other. They were the golden couple; strong, committed, successful and ambitious. This couple were going to go far, and felt blessed by what life had delivered them. They may have had the perfect wedding, the perfect house, perfect children to put in the house, perfect jobs, perfect friends and a perfect to die for lifestyle. In the Five of Wands their magic bubble bursts. Trouble has arrived in paradise and wiped the smile off faces. We could deliberate forever about what has happened, but surrounding cards should give an indication.
Perhaps the trouble in question is not newly arrived. The couple may be quite familiar with it, but believed marriage would fix it or lay the ghost to rest. Now that it’s back to real time, it has resurrected and hangs like a threatening dark cloud over their new life. It hasn’t gone away, continuing to gnaw on the foundations while the couple were toasted and feted. The couple attempted to build walls and barriers against it in the Four, hoping to contain it, or be shielded from it. Alas, it has infiltrated their defence system and climbed into bed with them. It will have to be faced head on this time with strength of conviction and courage if there is any hope of overcoming it. A new approach is needed but where do they start?
Trouble could be a direct result of any scandal that broke at the wedding, or a disaster that occurred. You may have discovered something post-wedding that shows your partner in a new light. How did you not know before? As a couple, you may be working hard to put on a brave face and show a united front to the world. You are desperate to hold onto the success you had claimed and are distressed to find it all turned upside down and ruined.
The happy couple may not be speaking to each other. Rows or family arguments that broke out at the wedding or celebration, may still be ongoing. The bringing together of your respective families may have soured the whole day for you. It is now clear they are never going to get on. The post-wedding fallout might need to be dealt with. This is not a happy camp, and for the moment no one knows exactly what to do, or what will happen in the long run. Best to play it down as much as possible and keep private for the moment. It might all blow over allowing life to settle down as it should. This could be yesterdays’ news in no time.
Stress Causes Lack of Intimacy
After the Loved up romantic feeling, and wedded bliss of The Three and Four of Wands, we now find a very different picture. Stress has introduced itself into the relationship. Stress may be coming from anywhere. It could be work-related, financially induced, down to children, family, large debt, health, external interference etc. Wherever it comes from, its impact has affected the relationship. This does not mean a couple has fallen apart, or wish to leave each other. Stress has a habit of wearing out individuals with its constant presence. Ongoing stress robs peace of mind, restful sleep, casual conversation, humour, intimacy and sex. Partners are worn down by stress, can think and talk of nothing but their stressful situation. It may seem hopeless as you sink lower and lower, feeling devoid of all energy. Partners need to reassure each other of their commitment and love during such tough times.
Living On One Salary
With the Wands strong connection to work and careers, the Five of Wands could suggest the horrendous struggle of living on one salary if there has been a job loss or redundancy. As a couple you may be battling to make ends meet, robbing Peter to pay Paul, keeping debtors at bay and drowning under a sea of final notices. If you also have family, as what might be suggested in the imagery of this card, your limited resources will be stretched beyond their capabilities. You need to hang in there and get through this time. It may seem like it will last forever, but keep positive. Things changed for the worse, but they will also change for the better soon. Keep the faith.
The Five of Wands can begin to highlight obvious incompatibility in a couple. This is usually a carryover from a relationship built on the Reversed Two, Reversed Three and Reversed Four of Wands. It can suggest early incompatibilities that were overlooked or ignored. The couple are unable to get on with each other, they lack common ground. A relationship may have continued in the belief it would somehow work out and any issues between a couple would naturally resolve over time, especially once married, or upon starting a family. At this stage, The Five of Wands, incompatibility is obvious, not just to the couple, but to everyone around them. This is a couple who are rarely on the same page. Instead of their personalities complementing each other, they clash and can be like chalk and cheese. Some couples thrive under such circumstances, their differences making them more interesting to each other. They may have a fiery relationship which suits them both. However, in this instance we are looking at a couple who have little in common, other than incompatibility. Any issues from the early stages of the relationship have become more entrenched as they continue to rub each other up the wrong way. Habit typically keeps them together, with neither quite ready or willing to make the break. It is clear they would be happier apart, but they continue in this mode. It is not exactly a battle field, just a bad match. They may have been too hasty in progressing the relationship beyond its capability. This relationship should have taken its natural course with partners eventually heading their own direction. Somewhere they got stuck and didn’t aspire to anything better. Their foundations are weak. The couple may lack an understanding of how rewarding a true relationship can be.
The above scenario can come about if the couple come from similar backgrounds. They may have had no role models to follow. Their parents may have drifted into their own relationships, and, or marriage. They may not have taken compatibility into consideration. Relationships were not something you pondered over, they just happened. It was what people did and you got on with it. There may be an understanding that partners are meant to irritate each other, not get on, or be at constant war. They might see nothing wrong with their situation and believe they are no different than any other couple. Marrying because of pregnancy, the traditional shotgun style wedding, can produce a couple who would never otherwise be together.
We can also find incompatibility that naturally evolves. A couple may have united at a time when they shared common interests and goals. People change and this cannot always be guarded against or prepared for. It just happens. A couple’s age at the time the relationship began could be where the problem stems from. If they were both very young at the time, it is likely their individual personalities had not fully formed or matured. What we think, feel, like, and dislike can change as we age. Interests we had in our teens may seem ridiculous or silly when we are in our thirties. Rebellious attitudes, and spontaneous behaviour of our younger years may have no place in our mature adult one. A couple can mature in opposing directions. Couples can fall out of love, becoming strangers to each other. The foundations of their relationship begin to shift and it is unclear whether they will be able to continue together.
Difference in Culture
If you are in a relationship with someone from another culture, race, or religion you might be rebelling against their beliefs or traditions. This could lead to clashes and lengthy heated debates between partners, as both refuse to see each other’s point of view. If external family are involved, you might be under further attack. You have tried to fall into line, but it goes against the grain and you question everything. You seem to get it wrong all the time and they have a constant problem with what you do, say and think. You might not feel it will work in such an environment.
Lack of Compromise or Cooperation – Opposition To Plan
In the Reversed Two, Reversed Three and Reversed Four of Wands we explored the challenges a couple face when partners are unwilling to make compromises. In the Five of Wands it becomes more blatant as partners fail to pull together. A lack of teamwork is evident in how a situation is being handled. Here we can see partners who are prepared to stand their ground, demanding things their way, and refusing to see each other’s point of view. Your partner may make his or her feelings very clear on a matter, leaving it closed to discussion or negotiation. He or she is not willing to make any sacrifice. Someone is not happy with what is being asked of them and refuse to cooperate in finding a workable solution. In the Five of Wands we are dealing with strong egos that will go into battle against each other. However, this card could represent a partner who is used to getting their own way all the time. Their needs and wishes have always been accommodated by their partner, but when it’s their turn to return the favour, they might not be so obliging.
In The Five of Wands you might discover your partner has been sabotaging your success if they agreed to something under duress. He or she may have reluctantly gone along with your plan. You may have agreed on some form of compromise, but it is not working out. Instead of supporting you in your endeavours, your partner is hoping you fail. They could make life deliberately difficult or put obstacles in your way. You will need to confront this head on. Thrash this out between the two of you as there is a lack of teamwork towards the agreed goal. This could arise out of a situation where emigration or re-location is concerned. Instead of trying to settle down and make things work, a partner could keep the atmosphere unsettled and stressful in the hope you will give up and go home. If you have coerced your partner into going along with your plans because you assume authority or control in the relationship, he or she will find their own way of striking back. Instead of pulling together, you are pulling apart and any success you hoped for may not manifest under such negative energy. Open the door to honest communication. Allow your partner to express their concerns and unhappiness. You might need to adjust or re-negotiate the deal.
Breakdown in Communication/No One Listening
The Five of Wands in a relationship or marriage can suggest a breakdown in communication. This can happen on any or all levels; physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual. A couple are tied up in communicating on all these levels. When communication is harmonious and balanced, all is well and any ups and downs are easily navigated. When resentment sets in, many of us retreat inwards, preferring to allow our imagination fill the gaps and communicate with us instead. We indulge in internal chatter where our partner does not have the space to explain or apologise. For some reason, we choose a negative narrative instead of a potentially positive one. We are quick to think ill instead of kindly. The victim instinct is quite strong in us. We like to think we have been hard done by our partner and build an even stronger case against them as we sit fuming internally. There is always a good chance we have got it wrong, very wrong, but we don’t seem to go there. Instead we insist we are ‘fine’ when we are not, that ‘nothing is wrong’ with us when it is. We facilitate the breakdown in communication by not expressing how we feel, yet want our partners to work it out, break the code of our stony gaze and decrypt our misguided thoughts and beliefs. We resent them even further when they don’t get it, yet we will not give any clues or hints as to what our issues might be. We want them to work it out, to beat themselves up, to hire a team of investigators just to reveal why we are in such bad form. We want them to get it wrong, again and again and again to justify our negative feelings towards them, to say, ‘I told you so, I knew it’, to be the righteous one.
In The Five of Wands you may be fighting an imaginary battle, a storm that is raging within you. In your head, you are going over and over all the things you want to say, get off your chest, hurl at your partner, accuse them of. The more you dwell on it, the more real it becomes. The Five of Wands could be telling you it is time to express how you are feeling. You need to talk and be honest with your partner. If you are angry, disappointed, or feel let down by them, they need to know this if they are ever to be given a chance to make it right. Take your fight to the real world and lay it out so that your opponent has a fair chance too. You cannot condemn your partner unless you have heard their side of the situation. Regardless of how strongly you feel, they may be completely in the dark about what is going on, oblivious to the role you have assigned them in the matter. Lack of communication is destructive, the harbouring of grudges and resentments is erosive. Fight your battles in the open.
In the Five of Wands we can find the commencement of battle during a separation or divorce. Here the legal team on both sides argue their client’s case which are bound to be in total opposition to each other. At this stage of proceedings, there is little or no common ground, and proposals could be demanding or outrageous. It is certainly heating up as solicitor’s letters fly back and forth, each determined to get as much for the client as possible. Couples may be in mediation but use their appointments to launch attacks and vicious accusations at each other. No one can agree on anything. Each side will be seeking victory for their client but the real winners will be the lawyers or barristers who must get their hefty share before any monies or assets are divided.
Often couples intend to part ways as amicably as possible. They start off determined to be dignified and ethical about the whole thing. If there are children involved, their aim is to shield them from as much upset as possible. Both have their best interests at heart. However, the game tends to change quite rapidly once solicitors are brought in on both sides. In the imagery, we can see the couple being directly influenced by their legal representatives who declare they are either asking for too little, or offering too much. Their fiery energy can be infectious, igniting aggression between partners who now become aware of their entitlements. This can be a very traumatic time for couples whose lives will be dominated by ongoing proceedings. At this early stage, everything is thrown out on the table and up for grabs. No one knows for sure what will happen as the battle could go either way. This Five suggests the initial foray. In time, the pace of proceedings will calm down as both sides begin to see reason and sense. This is just the starting point to get the game underway. You must go in with your teeth bared and not give the impression you will be an easy walk over.
The Five of Wands could appear as a sort of warning card if you are embarking on the path of separation or divorce. Its presence could be advising you to seek mediation if at all possible before getting solicitors involved. Mediation works to find a calm and organised manner in which couples can agree on certain key issues regarding their separation. Couples are given a safe space in which they can air their feelings, needs and wants, while a trained mediator (referee) oversees the discussions. Instead, The Five of Wands’ approach may be to throw a grenade in to see what happens, and who’s left standing once the dust settles. The gauntlet is thrown down and war is declared. If you have the stomach for it, go for it. The fight is often dirty. You may think you know your opponent, your partner, but you may be in for a nasty surprise. Mediation is bound to be less painful and more dignified. If you can reach an agreement in this manner before approaching the courts, it will also be less expensive.
The Killing Fields – A Partner Going Through Separation
Following on from the above, we now look at the challenge of dating someone who is in the throes of a separation or divorce. Now, you might be an innocent bystander, someone who entered the scene after the breakup, did not cause it, but that will not be much of a defence going forward when the battle heats up. You will be treated as the ‘the significant other’, the ‘third party’ who must be held accountable for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, guilt by association. There are always casualties in war and you might feel like one. You certainly didn’t envisage this when you accepted that date all those months ago. You only wanted to meet someone and this person was single at the time. However, now you are being treated like a home wrecker and are the subject of much incoming fire from all directions. Your life is under siege. Your very presence galls your partner’s ex, who could see you as a threat to whatever is up for grabs in settlements and maintenance. Are you going to be a further drain on resources that should go to them? How much is your partner spending, or in the eyes of their ex, wasting on you? The separation or divorce eats up the time you spend together and takes over much of the conversation. You might be on the receiving end of nasty phone calls, texts or social media comments you don’t deserve. You need to let it all go, turn the other cheek and rise above it. Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you. There is a lot of hurt, anger, jealousy and wounded pride driving this.
The Five of Wands in a spread, or on its own, could suggest you are internally conflicted about your relationship. You might not be sure of what you really want. Part of you might want to break up, while another part wants to stay and make a go of it. There is a suggestion of confusion and erratic swings of mind and emotions. Following on from the engagement or wedding energy of the Four of Wands, you might be in turmoil if you have got engaged or married. For the moment, your feelings may not be constant. They could change from day to day. There is a lot to consider and no matter what approach you take, the issue will not settle in your mind. Should you, shouldn’t you? The answer in this case is not clear cut. If only you felt more relaxed about the situation. Perhaps you don’t want to get engaged? There is so much to consider, when really you should be happy. If only things had been left as they were. This has brought unwanted disturbance to your life.
Your partner may have asked something of you, to make a sacrifice perhaps. You just don’t know if you can comply. What does it mean for your relationship if you do, and what will the implications be if you don’t? How do you decide? This issue is likely to preoccupy your thoughts and make you feel uneasy and irritable. Energy has been stirred up and it appears to bring a sense of urgency with it. There is resistance to conforming to the wishes of your partner or the change it might bring about.
Confused About Love
If you are still looking for love, you may find it difficult to define what you are looking for in a relationship or partner. Your needs may conflict or contradict each other. You might want a committed relationship, yet wish to keep your freedom and independence at the same time. You might hold great career ambition, but also want to settle down. How do you make it work? Can you have it all?
If you have given yourself over to the dating game with a view to meeting the right partner, you might feel even more confused. You believed dating a variety of personalities would clarify your needs, likes and dislikes but you are more puzzled than ever. You may worry about not having what it takes to settle or commit. You like certain aspects in all your dates, but none that would completely turn your head. You wonder if you are being too picky and choosy? You may be disillusioned by what is on offer. You have remained optimistic about each date up until now, eager to see what they had to offer, what made them different to the rest, but alas, they ended up being the same as each other, cut from the same mould irrespective of looks, background, class, or status.
In the Five of Wands you might be finding it difficult to make up your mind about a particular relationship. It is possible you are adding to your confusion by allowing others influence your thought processes. The opinions of others may not be consistent. Some may say go ahead, say yes, while others might advise you to get out, or say no. Friends and family may be swaying you off course and making it impossible to decide. In the din of all the voices you must reflect inwards and think for yourself.
Tackling Personality Issues When Seeking Love
In the Five of Wands we come across the dilemma in meeting the right person for you. You have put yourself out there, socialised, joined clubs and taken up new activities, yet you still haven’t met anyone worth a second glance. You might have gone on dates when asked, giving him/her the benefit of your doubt even when you knew it was a waste of time. No one can deny the effort you have put in. You may be in despair and extremely frustrated. It is possible you have become negative about the whole process. You may have lost faith and think it all a complete waste of energy. Instead of being open and friendly, your energy may have become aggressive and unapproachable. You write off potential suitors without giving them a fair chance, because what’s the point? He or she is bound to be like all the rest.
It might be you who is blocking your chance for love and romance. Now this is a tricky area to deal with when reading for another, but if the querant is having difficulty in meeting someone, they may need to question whether something they are doing is yielding poor results. The Element of Fire is responsible for developing and driving egos. The Wands Suit Upright demonstrate strong, healthy and assertive egos in general. It is typically in the associated number of the card where we find hints as to just how assertive the ego might be. The number Five brings challenge, change and disruption. When we take into account the imagery of the card, along with its Element and Number, we could find an ego that is borderline between assertive and aggressive. An assertive ego can cross the line into aggressiveness when circumstances are ripe or when there is a perception of threat. Therefore, your ego may be presenting an overly assertive/aggressive stance when a potential suitor approaches. You may not feel comfortable with being warm, polite and friendly, even if you naturally are. It might be a defence mode you adopt to make you look tough and independent. Instead of responding warmly to the attention of another, your reaction could be rude or brusque. You could go on the attack as a method of playing hard to get. This unfriendly behaviour could be confusing to others. It might make them back off as they consider you too hot to handle. Look to surrounding cards to determine if an overly-strong personality is causing issues. Reversed Wands’ Court Cards could be implying you are overdoing it with displaying your assertiveness and independence. Your potential suitors may feel you would not be interested in them, or are not looking to meet anyone.
Then again, in the Five of Wands, we do have the potential for coming on too strong when attempting to attract the attention of a certain someone. This is the opposite of above, but could result in the same outcome. Here we see an individual become larger than life as their personality is pushed to its limit. Acting out, being loud, rowdy or showing off when a certain person is around may make you look immature and too much personality for one person. It could scare them off. This is typically found in younger adults, and teenagers. Where young Wands are concerned, Fire might find them showing off by driving fast, getting into fights, or doing something risky to show how cool they are. Fooling around or acting the tough guy/gal is aimed to impress, and catch your attention. This behaviour can be found in not so young adults too if their personality has not matured as it should. One way or another, if you find this potential interpretation relevant, it indicates a lack of balance and control. Its energy is disruptive. You need to closely observe behaviour to determine if any of it needs adjusting. There is no harm meant by this as Fire is simply being Fire. It is when the Five of Wands reverses that we discover how destructive it can be.
Following on from the above, we find a relationship where one side is putting in a lot of effort and the other very little. If you have tried every trick in the book to attract the attention of a certain person, it may be time to acknowledge you have done your best. You did expect to have to fight for attention, or love, but how much is too much? You have put up a good fight but cannot stay in this mode for much longer. You need a show of reciprocation now, a sign that you are still in with a chance. Are you sure this person is worth fighting for? If so, hang on in, but don’t let it drag on forever. This might be entertainment, or great sport for them, but it could become humiliating for you.
The Five of Wands may suggest your relationship or marriage is going through some rough times and it’s all hands-on deck. For one reason or another you seem to have been hit with one crisis or drama after another leaving you in a permanent state of Fire Fighting. After the trouble-free time enjoyed in the Four, life seems to have turned upside down and refuses to cooperate with you. It’s just one of those times when nothing goes right. You must be all things to everyone and just suck it up. You barely have time to catch your breath before the next problem hits. In fact, they all seem to come together. What is going on? Anything could have happened and be happening. There may have been a sudden job loss. There might be a crisis on the building site of your new home. Workmen, may have caused damage through negligence. There may be unforeseen expenses, opposition to your planning permission, angry neighbours. A renovation job has gone totally over-budget. House appliances seem to break down for no reason one after another, children’s school books and uniform bills run into the thousands. Your car dies in the middle of rush hour traffic. The part you need for the car turns out to be more expensive than the car itself. The vet says your dog needs expensive surgery. The boiler is on the blink and it’s the middle of winter. It is hard to stay positive under such circumstances and you’re bound to be on edge and snappy. The slightest thing may start a row as you take your stress out on each other, possibly insinuating it’s your partner’s fault in the process. Someone must take the blame! There is nothing to do about it. Most of this will be out of your control. Everyone goes through the Five of Wands. Some, more times than others. Life seems to be hurling a lot at you and wish your period of bad luck would end. Take a deep breath and hold tight. You must battle on until you come out the other side. The Five of Wands often tests the strength of a couple. What doesn’t break a couple will strengthen them. The problems suggested by this card are not very serious, but can be blown out of proportion if partners allow them. You need to step back from all the mayhem. Are you making too much of a fuss? It could be worse.
Fire Fighting may also apply to ongoing arguments and rows that are linked to a certain hot topic or contentious issue around a relationship. There is a bone of contention between partners. There may be a brewing problem with one partner continually losing the plot over it. It might be up to you to keep the calm and avoid further aggravation. The issue may be coming from within the relationship, or connected to it on some level. Family might be involved, even your children. The mere mention of this issue could ignite passionate feelings. It needs to be carefully contained and managed. With the right intervention, the issue can be diffused before it has a chance to explode. This isn’t going to be easy as you are likely dealing with an unreasonable partner. If the issue is linked to external family, it is best not to take sides. Instead try to mediate.
The Five of Wands often appears when a couple’s relationship is being impacted by external demands. A relationship itself can be demanding, but when the strain is coming from an external source it must be brought under control.
The external demands in question vary depending on the circumstances. For one couple, it could be related to family obligations. Something may have happened within the family leaving you obliged to deal with it. This could consume a lot of your time and resources. Your own relationship may be neglected while you tend to the needs of others. Sometimes this is a temporary situation, the result of an unexpected crisis, or it may be an ongoing scenario. If this involves family on either side, a lot may be expected of you. Demands could eat into your free time or weekends. Your own house might be in chaos as you have precious little time to attend to it. It appears the needs of others are more important than your own right now. However, be careful to set limits on how much you can do, as others may take it for granted. They may see it as their due and your duty.
Family Interference – Personality Clash
In the Four of Wands Reversed we were exposed to the often-delicate issue of family interference in a relationship. Now this interference may not have been intentional, as in the belief they were acting with good intentions. They did not see it as interfering, but simply as trying to help. However, we also ventured into areas of more deliberate interference, with certain family members going out of their way to stir up trouble or upset people. Jealousy or rivalry may have been involved. In the Five of Wands the gloves are off with family blatantly and unashamedly interfering in a couple’s relationship. Interference can happen on many levels. It may be considered minor or major, occasional or constant. This can be a difficult situation to manage, as generally you cannot exclude these people from your life or alienate them with rudeness. It is best to keep some form of acceptable relationship to keep the peace at family gatherings and special events. As mentioned in the Four of Wands Reversed, you can choose your partner, but you cannot choose their family. Not getting along with them could cause long-term issues for the relationship. You may find your in-laws annoying and couldn’t care less whether you see them from one end of the week to the next, but your partner grew up in this family and may not see things as you do. He or she may think it a personal attack when you find cause to criticise. Your partner may rant and rave about them occasionally. He or she will expect you to side with them or agree, but there is a very fine line between what is support and what is insult. The moment you step from sympathising with your partner, to offering your own critical input you are in trouble. Let your partner run down his/her family if they so wish, but don’t join in.
In the Five of Wands it appears everyone has access to your relationship and a say in what happens. This can be the result of a couple not laying down boundaries around their relationship from day one. If you have not asserted your privacy, family members could view that as an open invitation to get involved as they choose. They can take their family connections to the extreme and deem it their right to know what is going on. They may try to force their opinions on you and tell you what and how you should be doing things. They can interfere in the relationship itself, your lifestyle, the rearing of your children and the home you live in. They could expect you to run everything by them before making decisions. Family members could develop a habit of popping in unannounced and upsetting the order of your day or leisure time and expect to be accommodated and entertained. This might be a daily occurrence. Clearing you out of food, and downing the last of your wine, they can rapidly outstay their welcome, but will be slow to pick up on subtle hints.
If you are subject to regular family interference, it is possible you have developed a system of ducking and diving rather than standing up to them. Instead of asserting your right to privacy, you begin to work around it by lying, fabricating stories or excuses, hiding things, omitting crucial details and exhausting yourself trying to avoid them. If this is your family, you must be the one to deal with it. If the interference is coming from your partner’s side, then he or she must tackle it. If it is coming from both sides, it can get quite competitive as each family rush to claim the territory of your relationship. You must show a united front and lay down ground rules. As a last resort, you might have to move further away if close proximity is making it worse.
Of course, we must look at the area of interference when a relationship has not been endorsed by one side of the family. Your relationship or marriage may not be popular with everyone. Your in-laws could be quite frosty and unwelcoming if they don’t accept you. They could go out of their way to make life difficult for you. You might be on the receiving end of nasty comments or malicious gossip. They could find fault with everything you do, and even attempt to set you up for failure. They may attempt to poison your partner against you, or get them to question their relationship with you. This continuous battering can wear you down and cause tension between partners. Your self-esteem can take a hammering if you allow this behaviour to get to you. They are not going to make it easy. You have been playing by their rules up to now, trying to impress and pander to their whims. You might have to accept this will go on indefinitely unless you do something about it. Getting your partner to intervene on your behalf is unlikely to succeed, and could even make things worse. This is your battle. You must show them you are a worthy contender and are prepared to fight. Time to bare your teeth and stand up for yourself.
Family may also interfere in your life if you get embroiled in all their individual dramas. Some families thrive on such drama, every minor incident blown out of proportion, phone calls day and night, with regular updates and newsflashes. Like living in a Soap Opera, family members can be at each other’s throats, or take pride in running each other down. Fractious elements in families can upset the peace in a relationship and take quality time away from couples. If you have constant phone calls, texts, or visits from family members about family issues or dramas, it can take over your life. Family can invade a relationship and be very demanding. All conversation between partners may centre around the drama.
Following on from the above, we have the impact a relationship experiences due to family arguments, disputes and rows. A couple may be asked to take sides or get involved in the argument. Partners may not take the same side, bringing external family tension into the heart of their relationship. Family feuds can get out of control and last an unhealthy period of time. It is essential to bring some order to the chaos while you still can.
Let us finally look at a situation that is quite common, and also very sad. In this instance, a certain family member may, or may not, realise how much they are interfering in the normal day to day life of a relationship. We might be looking at an elderly mother or father who needs, or demands, constant attention. They may have genuine health issues you need to support them with. Even though it takes up your spare time, you are more than happy to give it. However, there may be nothing wrong with their health, but they encourage dependency on you. You might feel under obligation to have them over for Sunday lunch each week, take them shopping, include them in all vacation plans or outings etc. A considerate and well-meaning individual or couple can slip into this habit very quickly.
An elderly parent can be difficult or indifferent to considering a couple’s need for privacy or quality time. They expect to be catered for and can get stroppy if they feel any resistance, using emotional blackmail, or pulling the old-age card to get their way. Having the constant presence of your mother or father-in-law wears thin regardless of how lovely or old they might be. His or her needs and wants exceed the needs of the individual partners, couple, or family who are expected to make endless sacrifices on their behalf. The sacred space of the relationship is breached and hijacked. Neither partner can find a solution to the situation and so continue in this manner, emotions running between resentment and guilt. With regards to the above interpretation, I refer to elderly parents who abuse the hospitality and generous nature of their son or daughter, not parents who are obliged by necessity, ill-health, mobility issues or senility. For the latter, the Six of Cups would be more relevant.
Third Party Interference
Now we move on to a whole new level of interference. This time we are looking at outside interference which threatens the foundations of a relationship or marriage. Here we find a third party attempting to breach the inner intimate sanctum. This is not an annoying sister, mother or friend, but an enemy. Depending on surrounding cards and the nature of the reading, The Five of Wands could suggest a snake in the grass, an intruder in your relationship. In the imagery, we see a group waving wands in the air. Are they attempting to construct something, or pull it apart? With the Five we have disruption and must see this as a threat in a relationship. Someone may be working to actively deconstruct your relationship. At this stage, it might still be just a threat, but it does suggest trouble if you go looking for it.
You or your partner may be exposed to the attention of another. You may have got too close to someone at work or on a social level. You could be playing with fire as you skirt around the danger zone of flirtation and temptation. You might see it as harmless fun at this stage, but it does have the potential to blow up in your face. Your involvement in this situation is filtering through to your relationship making you feel at odds with it and your partner. Your partner is bound to sense a disturbance in the force, a shift in the dynamics of the relationship. You may be too eager to go to work, work late, or at the weekend. You might be spending too much time at the club or gym. You might be paying extra attention to your appearance before you leave the house, checking your phone too regularly, or mentioning someone’s name too often. Tread carefully as you could draw a lot of trouble and upset your way. If you are unsure of your ability to resist temptation, you must go back to the Four to re-confirm why you chose your partner. Check your foundations.
On the other hand, we might be looking at a situation where you are unhappy in your relationship, or just bored with it. You could deliberately pull at your relationship, tearing strips off it, wearing it down, diluting its strength. You want to test how far you can push your partner, how much he or she will take before they react. The Five of Wands could suggest you are going looking for trouble. If you are looking for an out from your relationship, you might prefer to force it by courting sexual or romantic attention from others. You might take huge risks, as you wait to see how long before you get found out. You are playing with fire, and you know it. Alternatively, we find someone who has a fling in the hope it will shock their partner into sense or action if they feel neglected or taken for granted. This is a desperate, attention-seeking tactic. On rare occasions, it brings a partner to their senses. Typically, it backfires drastically.
Interference from an Ex-Partner
Depending on surrounding cards and the issue at hand, The Five of Wands could suggest interference coming from an ex-partner or ex-spouse. He or she may not have let go and moved on. Your ex may hold a grudge against you or your new partner. He or she may not want to you be happy with someone else and refuse to accept you have moved on in your life. Your ex could pester you with unwanted phone calls and texts. They could turn up at your door or workplace and make a scene. You could be tracked on social media sites by your ex, or partner’s ex. He or she may post nasty comments about you on your page. There may be an attempt to reclaim their partner. This will cause tension and strain in your relationship. You must rise above it. If you let it get to you, their mission has been successful. If interference turns to stalking, you must notify the proper authorities and have it stopped.
Making A Mess of Your Relationship
The Five of Wands can highlight a slip-shod approach to your relationship. You had everything going for you in the Four of Wands but failed to realise it. You have been treading in dangerous territory for some time, doing things you shouldn’t, behaving irresponsibly and taking it all for granted. You may already be in trouble but have managed to wrangle out of it with apologies and renewal of good intentions. However, you have really pushed your luck this time and messed up badly. You don’t know how to make it right. Instead of been humble, contrite and ready to take your punishment, you act confrontationally and aggressively, blaming your partner for your own shortcomings. You just can’t stick to the straight and narrow and have invited trouble to your own front door. It is likely you have dragged others into the mess with you and caused widespread disruption.
Can’t See The Wood For The Trees
In this interpretation, we find you totally lost in your relationship, and with no compass to safely navigate by. There is so much wrong, you just don’t know where to start putting it right. The issues may be caused by you which leaves you feeling totally responsible for the mess. You want to sort it out, but how? You think of this and that, try out approaches which fail or get thrown back in your face. You don’t know what to do next and feel overwhelmed with the stress of it all.
The issues may not be related to your actual relationship, but impact it nonetheless. There might be job concerns, financial crisis, health issues or trouble coming your way. At times, you feel you can’t breathe and hold your head in your hands. Panic fills you with a sense of coming dread which roots you to the spot. Which way do you turn? How do you find your way out? At present, there is so much going on in your life, it is impossible to see the wood for the trees. You need to calm down and stop struggling so hard. In your panic you might be blindly travelling further into the trees, and not making your way out into the light as hoped for. You are getting nowhere in this frenzied energy. Sit down and get your bearings.
The Five of Wands depicts five figures beating each other with Wands. They are taking out their aggression or fiery energy on each other. This could suggest lashing out, wanting to blame someone else for all your woes. It is an act of attack first and ask questions later. The question may not get asked later if the figures believe they already know all the answers. They fail to look inwards and acknowledge that some of their anger could aimed at them. They want to punish those who have irked or upset them. They do not stop for a moment to evaluate their culpability in the situation. No, it is always someone else’s fault for they are perfect in every way. They might have a superior attitude, feel above reproach. The adopt a virtuous stance as they cast judgement on those they vent their temper on. In relationships, this could point to one partner on the receiving end of blame with the other happy to dish it out. It takes two to tango.
Not Tying Up Loose Ends
If you have been involved in an inappropriate relationship, affair, strayed from home or indulged in sexual flirtations, the Five of Wands can point to not covering your tracks. You have left a trail behind that could easily be discovered. You have not been discreet in your comings and goings. Too many people know what has been going on. If you have tried to distance yourself from a certain third-party, this card could suggest you haven’t tied up the loose ends or cut them as you should have. This could be an oversight on your part, or deliberate. The door has been left open for a return. You might still be in possession of their phone number, email, have not unfriended them on your Social Media Pages. The fire has not been extinguished and could flare up again at the slightest opportunity. You might be keeping your options open, wanting your cake and eat it.
The Wicked Webs We Weave
Continuing From above, we now see the five Wands demonstrate their mercurial nature. Constantly reforming and regrouping, they are hard to pin down, difficult to establish or define. Just when you think you know what they are about, they change direction or form. It is hard to get ahead of them or even catch up with what they are up to. We are unsure of what to make of them. Are they up to good or bad? Are they helping or hurting? The Five of Wands could find you tangled in a web of lies and flimsy excuses as you cause deliberate distractions to take the heat off you. The web is of your own making and it is possible you have lost track of how you created it. Lies build upon lies and can become quite far-fetched and outlandish. Slippery and ever-resourceful, there is always a plausible excuse on hand to explain away inconsistencies and slip-ups. You are living in a House of Cards that is liable to come crashing down. Your web of deceit will eventually trap you.
Gossip Spreading Like Wild-Fire
The Five of Wands can appear as a ‘gossip alert’. You might be unaware you are the subject of gossip which is spreading rapidly. You need to act rapidly to stop this in its tracks and locate the source of it. However, once gossip starts, it grows in the spreading and telling. The original source of the gossip may have passed an innocent enough comment in confidence, that has now grown wings and taken flight. This wild-fire needs dousing. Be careful who you confide in in future.
Nit-Picking and Nagging
The Five of Wands can highlight the plight of living with a partner who nit-picks about everything. You may be on the receiving end of constant nagging. There is always something to complain about. No matter what you do, it is not enough. Your timing is continuously off as you either do something that is not needed or fail to do it when you should. You just can’t get it right. Your partner could insult or make fun of your efforts or speak derogatorily about you to family and friends. You are treated as a joke, someone who is useless, silly or incapable. Your partner is quite happy to hurl abuse at you, as if you would be nothing if they weren’t around to sort you out. There could be a condescending or patronising attitude towards you. However, it is unlikely this behaviour stops with you. This person is liable to indulge and fuel nasty gossip about others, quick to run someone down or add to their misery. The Five of Wands can point to chips on shoulders and a sneering cynical attitude in general.
Getting Maximum Leverage Out Of Partner’s Shortcomings
Following on from the above The Five of Wands can showcase a scenario where one partner gets maximum leverage out of an issue they hold their partner responsible for. On one level, the offended partner is livid about the issue, but on another they are secretly rubbing their hands together in glee thinking of how much they can milk the situation to their advantage. Yes, their partner screwed up, behaved badly or was inconsiderate, but does it really necessitate pushing the boat out so far with making them feel so bad? You might make it out to be worse than it is, if you plan on building a case for compensation around it. In this case, we are not looking at legal compensation, but you intend to be amply recompensed for the perceived offense. This might involve a substantial cash gift to blow on anything you so please, dinner in a fancy restaurant, an extravagant gesture, an affirmative response to any request you might make, a trip away, the house eventually painted/kitchen replaced etc. Once your partner has made good on his/her recompense, you will gleefully invite them back in from the cold, graciously allowing the issue to pass, their punishment complete. That is of course until the next time – and there always will be a next time!
Taking a Risk – Potential To Blow Up In Your Face
The Five of Wands in a love or relationship reading could suggest embarking on a course of action that has the potential to go very wrong. You are taking a big risk in the hope that it will pay off in dividends but if it doesn’t you stand to lose everything. You may be making a serious bid for the one you are interested in. You could be sticking your neck on the proverbial chopping block, setting yourself up for rejection disgrace and humiliation, but are prepared to take a gambled risk on it working out. You may have to take some heat over your actions, come under fire, opposition or ridicule, but all in a day’s work, hey? You are up for it and need to push ahead. Don’t vacillate or give in to doubt. You are either in this to win or not. No time for second thoughts.
If already in a relationship or married, you could be proposing radical change or introducing wild suggestions in the hope they will be believed and well received. You could aim to win over support by offering outrageous guarantees and making outlandish claims. You are so enamoured by what you chase, you could say anything, and make all kinds of promises just to get it. You could make out that something is a sure thing when it is anything but. You are taking a great risk and it better not backfire. What you are proposing involves serious disruption to others and if it doesn’t pay off, the finger of blame will point heavily in your direction. You are dragging others into this and heads will certainly roll if you mess up. It would be wise to have a Plan B up your sleeve if Plan A falls apart. The thing is, you probably have no contingency plan in place, and haven’t worked any the details out to completion. You are flying by the seat of your pants and hoping for the best.
Breaking Marriage Vows/Disrespecting Vows
Where marriage is concerned, the Five of Wands can see your trampling all over your vows and being disrespectful to your spouse. You are not fulfilling your side of the contract and may be quite deliberate about it. The worse thing anyone can do is point out to you what you can’t or shouldn’t do because you are married. Ultimatums or orders are like a red rag to a bull. You will do the exact opposite of what is expected of you. You may feel restricted or stifled by the rules and regulations people have set out, and will rebel quite strongly. You will fight your partner on the slightest detail and seek to score points as if it was a game with winners and losers instead of a two-way relationship. This card could highlight transient restrictions that will pass. You may have expected to freely do something or go somewhere but have come up against objection or resistance from your partner which has enraged you. You might go ahead and do it anyway.
Drama/Over-Exaggerating – Ambulance Chaser
The Five of Wands could suggest you are making an unnecessary fuss about something in your relationship or an issue with your partner. You are being overly-dramatic, your emotional response excessive under the circumstances. You might be blowing a minor incident out of proportion, especially if you are seeking attention from others or enjoy being the innocent victim in the situation. You might be secretly content with the effect of the saga as family and friends rush to be part of the uproar. Feeling affronted and incensed, you are making it out to be worse than it is.
The Five of Wands can highlight the ambulance chaser mentality. Drama and scandal is courted and encouraged. You might relish jumping into the thick of it, being on the spot when all the action happens, eager with opinions and biased versions of events. This card could warn about getting involved in other people’s business, rows or relationships that are none of your concern. You do not have all the facts and are probably ill-informed with the ones you do have. There is a tendency to believe the worst and you are not averse to embellishing facts for greater impact. If this does not reflect your actions but you identify it in others around you, it is best to take what is said with a pinch of salt as there may be little truth in it. Rumours grow in the telling and spreading. Don’t give power to busy bodies in your life right now. If there is something going on with you, be careful who you confide in. Your doorbell and phone may be ringing constantly with people who say they want to be there for you, but they might have a hidden agenda. They might just be looking for the latest news.
The Five of Wands can act as a warning regarding action you are about to take or are already involved in. You may see it as not a big deal, or something you have under control, but it could run away from you. There is rush and panic associated with this card and doing something potentially reckless and impulsive. You may not be thinking clearly, thinking you are making a situation better, solving everyone’s problems, but it is likely you are making things worse, digging a deeper hole for yourself that will be hard to climb out of.
Not Finding A Workable Solution
The Five of Wands can suggest you are finding it increasingly harder and harder to find a workable solution to problems you have encountered in your relationship. You have been trying your best but it’s not good enough. This card can find you feeling under pressure to sort things quickly. That might be where the problem lies. Instead of taking the time to decide which area of your relationship needs most attention, and then coming up with a plan or strategy, you are trying to do too many things at the one time, racing down blind alleyways and dead ends. You are attempting to fix several areas in one swoop. There is a sense of desperation about you as you furiously tread water in the hope of making shore. Your relationship could be in its death throes and you are fighting tooth and nail to save it, throwing everything but the kitchen sink at it. The Five of Wands could suggest you have tried all the angles and approaches at this stage. You may have to accept it’s over. Stand back onto the side-lines where you can view it more objectively. At present, you cannot see the wood for the trees.
Fighting Your Corner
Where relationships are concerned, The Five of Wands might find you having to fight your corner or disappear into a hole. If there is a dominant partner, you may have to battle to assert your rights or needs as they usually decide these things for you. No matter how trivial your request or suggestion, it is met with opposition and resistance. Even announcing you want to paint the hallway takes great effort as your partner decides it is fine as it is. You may be told outright and very firmly that there will be no painting of the hallway. You are used to waiting patiently for the right moment to approach, perhaps when they are in a good mood, or when you have earned some brownie points. You rarely get to finish a sentence before they have interjected with a negative response. If you were only allowed explain your reasons, finish what you are trying to say, it might be something, but you end up with the bulk of it stuck in your throat or churning in your stomach. Everything seems to be a combative struggle, with their word – final.
This issue often comes to light when children get involved. You could be living in a home where the kids do not get on with one parent, usually the parent who is dogmatic and domineering. They just can’t get past this parent and it upsets you to see them so downcast when this parent bluntly refuses their requests without explanation or attempt at compromise. No is no and that is it. Children will naturally turn to the other parent for help. Perhaps they would stand a better chance of getting a yes if they could put a word in for them. In this manner, we find a divided camp with one parent siding with their children against the other parent who is unreasonable and mean-spirited. This can cause bitterness and resentment for the parent whose heart breaks to see their children treated in such an unfair and unsporting manner. In The Five of Wands we can see a line drawn with a parent and children on one side and the other parent isolated on the other.
The Five of Wands often appears when you have got embroiled in petty arguments with your partner. This situation often occurs once a relationship has moved past its early stage. In the beginning, neither partner uttered a word that could possibly lead to an argument, or suggest there was something wrong with the other. It was all best behaviour and out to impress. As a relationship progresses and matures, couples drop their guard. They note aspects in each other. Some of these aspects might be cute or charming, while others may be annoying or irritating. If the couple has moved in with each other, or are married and over the honeymoon period, the less than attractive aspects of their partner can really get on their nerves. Things like leaving the toilet seat up, toothpaste squeezed from the middle of the tube, shoes thrown on the floor, empty milk cartons put back in fridge, or dark clothes mixed in with a white wash will not trigger World War III, but it might feel like it. They seem to be constantly under your nose and feet. Ongoing mild annoyances can give rise to excess irritation. Once the argument breaks, stubborn attitudes go into overdrive. The accused partner may make a point of exacerbating their behaviour just to annoy the other as their argument seems so ridiculous. Partners become huffy with each other and refuse to talk or eat at the same table. It becomes a matter of principle with them. Adults can start behaving as children. Petty arguments can be drawn out for an unreasonably long time. It is time for one of you to make peace and put an end to it. This is not a case of you having to step down, but the issue needs to be looked at in perspective. How bad is it in the grand scheme of things, does it warrant such reaction, can it be resolved, has anyone died as a result of it? The Five of Wands can appear to suggest you are squabbling over nothing of any great importance. Time to get over it.
The above scenario can come about due to partner’s spending too much time together. Familiarity can breed contempt. There is also a lack of anticipation of when you will see each other again if you are hanging around like shadows. You have no news to bring each other which can get boring. Partners need to have their own lives outside the relationship. It is not healthy to be cooped up with each other all the time.
Sticks And Stones Etc., Etc.
Following a break-up or separation, you may find yourself at the receiving end of much wrath and horrid comments. This is especially so if you were the one to end it. You might also be the third party in a break up which generally will draw negative attention to you. During this time, those who support your ex-partner/spouse, or the ex of your partner will attempt to make you as miserable as possible. You may be subjected to vicious phone calls, threatening texts, emails and derogatory comments on your social media pages. There could be angry scenes or the street or at your workplace. Under this continuous onslaught of incoming fire, you might be tempted to retaliate, to fight back, to give as good as you get, but if possible try to rise above it. They are only words at this stage and to a certain extent, some of it must be accepted and sucked up. This will pass as it does for most people in your situation. Yes, it is intense and insufferable right now, but you are bigger than this. Seek higher ground and hold your counsel.
Relationships represented by Wands often suggest the potential for competition between partners. Fire types are drawn to similar fiery types who are not opposed to being challenged by each other, or asked to prove themselves in some way. Fire personalities like to show the world how great they are. This sense of bravado can extend into their relationships with one partner betting they can’t do something, while the other says, ‘just you wait and see’, and they will go the distance and beyond to prove it. This type of one-upmanship behaviour is in their nature, and couples who live by this code are often lively, extrovert, and extremely optimistic. They spur each other on. However, this invigorating set up can step over the line when partners lose the fun side of things and become ruthless in their pursuit of being top dog, king pin, or queen bee. From a spirit of healthy competition springs a nasty struggle to be the dominant power in the relationship. We no longer see partners spur the other on, but rather pit themselves against each other in a bid for supremacy. The achievements or successes of one partner is not celebrated or supported by the other. There is a sense of disgruntlement, and a need to address the balance in favour of themselves again.
When power struggles enter a relationship we lose unity, teamwork, partnership and cooperation. Partners retreat into their egotistic selves and revert to number 1 once more, self-concerned, self-obsessed and self-centred. Power struggles can run from trivial, insignificant situations, to major big deals. Even the choice of paint for the kitchen wall can come down to a battle of wills. Some people just like to get their own way all the time. Power struggles are often decided by who has the most stamina and energy to hold out until they get their way. Big issues could be related to the management or upbringing of children, with one partner insisting on forcing their way of operation on others who are not in agreement. They believe they have the god given right to hold the reins power. There is a struggle to be the dominant partner, the one who must be deferred to in all matters and on all occasions, the one who has the ultimate final say on everything. If one partner bows to the demands of the other, or wears down under pressure, the power struggle ceases to exist as a victor has been declared or self-appointed. Power struggles can only be called power struggles, if neither side are prepared to concede defeat to the other. We enter an attitude of ‘I’ll show him/her’, ‘I’ll sort him/her out’, ‘how dare he/she go against what I say’. Power struggles can be out in the open, blatant and transparent for all to see, or they can be covert, battled out behind closed doors, or feigned cooperation. Often in power struggles the most powerful one just nods and agrees, only to go and do whatever it is anyway behind their partner’s back anyway. The one who thinks they hold the power doesn’t, and is often kept out of the loop of what is going on because everyone knows how awkward and difficult they will be.
Dynamic Competitive Couple
In the Five of Wands, we find a couple who are in the chaos together and are quite competitive. They may enjoy outdoing or scoring points on each other, but in a positive sporting manner. Being constantly on the go and signing up for things might be their vibe. Here we have a very active couple who enjoy being out and about. They could be very sporty with weekly commitments to training, coaching, rehearsing etc. There may be matches, marathons to run, mountains to climb, competition, or performances at weekends. They thrive on their demanding life, enjoy high energy and good health. They need to be doing something all the time as it makes them happy. Game for anything, they will deliberately seek out challenge, and are rarely at home. This couple have a strong relationship that is kept fresh and stimulating.
Trying To Have It All
The Five of Wands highlights the tension and stresses for those who are ambitious, aiming high and want a piece of everything life has to offer. This is a case of having your finger in multiple pies, wanting to taste them all, afraid to miss out on any of it. This can suggest serious multi-tasking in life. You may have a demanding career/business, busy lifestyle, expensive tastes, expanding family, strenuous exercise regimes and hectic social life. You are up very early in the morning and home quite late in the evening. Your weekends are tightly scheduled and you have a to-do list that is exhausting. On the outside, you seem to be managing it all, but an exhaustion is building that could overwhelm you if it found an outlet. You manage to keep it at bay by keeping the adrenaline pumping, but do worry about what would happen if it failed you. Your sleep is not the best but you can’t afford to take any time off. Should you stop unannounced or all of a sudden, the world you live in just might stop too. Everything and everyone depends on your ability to keep going. You have created a lifestyle that costs a lot in time, energy, and money to maintain. There are certain goals you haven’t yet achieved and must find a way to go after them too. This compulsion to have it all may come from you alone, or perhaps it is a couple who perpetuates it. You may have worked hard to create the lifestyle of your dreams and are now tightly tied into it. You might not be able to walk away from it even if you wanted to.
On top of the above, you might also be adding to your load by drawing unnecessary extra stress or baggage into your life. You are so used to having and getting it all, it may not cross your mind that there are certain pies you should keep your fingers out of. They may not be yours to eat but that is unlikely to stop you. Haven’t you enough to be getting on with? You may take whatever meaning out of this you like.
Sometimes the Five of Wands appearing in a love or relationship reading can suggest a partner or potential partner who would be considered unconventional in the normal sense, especially to those who veer towards the conservative and conventional side, and think anything different is obviously weird, or wrong. Here we might find your attraction or involvement causes many raised eyebrows all round. This person could be deemed unconventional, eccentric or outrageous, causing heads to turn out of surprise or shock. Your interest in this person may also be considered inappropriate. In this interpretation, we are not referring to unconventional, as in non-heterosexual relationships. Instead, we might be looking at a massive age difference, bizarre dress sense, strange behaviour, wacky occupation or larger than life personality. This is someone who stands out from the crowd as being different or unusual. They could be the centre of much controversy.
The Five of Wands can also suggest the relationship itself is unconventional. You may be considered an odd or unusual couple based on your looks, style, behaviour, manner of living and habits. The presence of The Fool could support this theory and suggests a hippy or bohemian type of lifestyle. You may be seen as nonconformists, mavericks, eco warriors, new age types or even dissidents if you live outside the standard model of normalcy. As a couple, you might make a career out of being different and doing anything other than conforming to what society expects of you. You will always choose the unusual path over the obvious; vacationing in destinations no one has ever heard of, planning bizarre wedding rituals and receptions, making a home in the most unlikely of places, taking on projects that others view as insanity, doing what others say cannot be done, tearing up rule books that hold you back. You might take your family off to live with the Eskimos for a year, or decide to live without electricity or running water as an experiment in survival. You could choose to raise your family in tents made out of innovative materials and live off the land in search of new enriching experiences.
The School Of Life – A Novel Approach To Education
Where children are concerned, the Five of Wands might find you pulling them out of mainstream education in favour of home schooling. You are probably strong advocates of learning from direct experience. In your opinion, there is no substitute for the school of life – throwing them in at the deep end and letting them sink or swim. You are not a big fan of traditional or conventional teaching methods as you see them limiting and restricting. You could seek permission from the educational authorities to take your children on a two- year school break to explore the world and gain exposure to other cultures and ways of living. There are certain things that just cannot be learned in the classroom.
On another level, the Five of Wands could indicate a haphazard approach to rearing and educating your children. In this instance, it may be the result of you moving home a lot which necessitates changing school regularly, or it could be that your child or children are finding it difficult to settle anywhere. Your child’s schooling could be all over the place, with effort coming in fits and starts. Your child might be the sensitive type who is particularly vulnerable to intimidation or bullying by other students. There may be learning difficulties that cause issues when seeking enrolment. The resources your child needs may be in short supply, or perhaps you do not qualify for them. We must also look at the possibility the schools are the ones who wish to move them on. Your child or children could be disruptive or rebellious which will bring them into confrontation with teachers and school principals alike. They may be the source of stress to other children.
A Fiery Partner
In this instance, the Five of Wands can point to a partner who has an aggressive streak in their personality. It doesn’t take much to set them off and there may have been some scenes in the past. They may not mean any harm, and if they come from a family where loud quarrelling was the norm, they might see nothing wrong with their behaviour. It is likely you have experienced some of their outbursts during the course of your relationship, but generally these are focused on others, not you. He or she is quick to get into an argument when out with others and you may have fallen into a habit of steering conversation away from potentially inflammatory issues. They walk a fine line between assertiveness and aggression. You may be used to their volatile personality but it does need to be watched.
A Funny Partner
The Five of Wands could suggest a funny or comic personality. Check for correlating cards, such as Wands Page or Knight, and the Fool. Here we have a naturally good humoured person who is up for anything and game for a laugh. The glass is always half full with this person. He or she is positive and upbeat, and always looks on the bright side of things. You are drawn to their wit and possible madness. He or she creates dramatic mayhem wherever they go, and always have a wonderful story to tell. This person will rise to any challenge and do the silliest of things. With a big heart and wonderful spirit your partner could be doing something wild and whacky for charity, or just for the sheer thrill of it. You never know what to expect from them next as they are constantly putting your heart cross-ways, either with fright or surprise.
A party animal, he or she will be first on the dancefloor and last to leave it. Mad stunts on the dancefloor could draw a large crowd who cheer and applaud the antics. Everyone says you must have the patience of a saint. He or she is a crowd pleaser but also great fun when it’s just the two of you.
In the Five of Wands we can also find parents who turn up at children’s sport’s days to take part in games and matches. They enjoy getting involved and being part of the fun.
Coming Off The Side lines – Being Proactive In Love
If you have been standing on the side lines for too long where love is concerned, The Five of Wands appearing in your reading could be telling you it is time to get back into the stream of life once more. You need to put yourself out there and openly declare you have entered the game. Otherwise you might not be seen. Standing on the side lines is a way of staying in a comfort zone. You can watch from a distance, comment and critique on others without getting your own hands dirty or involved. If you stood on the side lines for too long, you might have lost belief in being fit enough to join in, not up to it anymore. From a distance, it looks scary and you wonder why anyone would expose themselves to such potential hurt or injury. You watch the players enthusiastically confront each other from between gaps in your fingers. You may have been in the game in the past but now believe you have lost your touch and capability. Time to get off the bench and limber up. The game of life and love is much more enjoyable and less daunting when you are in the midst of it, messy and all as it might be. A few knocks and bruises won’t kill you. Adrenaline will keep you going until you get back into the swing of it again.
The Circus Of Dating
If you are single and still looking to meet that certain someone, you may be fed up with the circus surrounding the dating game. The more you put yourself out there, the more you realise how cut throat it is. You are not the only one looking for love and perhaps there is a shallow pool of potential suitors to choose from. At times, it resembles heading out to the January Sales with people trampling over each other to get the best bargain. It can get vicious and extremely competitive as hungry eyes scavenge for the pick of the crop. There may be certain rules of engagement, unspoken protocol that must be adhered to. When does hands-off, I saw him/her first apply, or does securing a date mean others will acknowledge it and back off the hunt? When can you relax and not have to feel you are in a constant race with competitors who smile to your face, but secretly hope you would spontaneously combust in front of them. However, what choice do you have? If you are not meeting someone in a more relaxed manner, you have to throw your lot in with this crowd and see what comes out of it. It is not something you could do indefinitely, but it is worth a shot. The best thing is to embrace this culture. Work with it. Claim your space and watch your back, but don’t take it too seriously. It obviously works or it wouldn’t be so popular. Be a worthy opponent and give it your best.
The Five of Wands throws the spotlight on the Party Animal. It may be you, your partner, or one of your group. It is likely you have a reputation for burning the midnight oil and being the last one to leave the dance floor or party. You seem to have endless energy which is just as well because your social life is certainly hectic. You do like to be out and about and probably have a phobia about being stuck in at the weekend. Horror of horrors! You like to be in the thick of it, a part of whatever is going on. There is a fear of missing out on something great if you take a night off. This type of socialising can be very expensive to maintain, as all of us know you cannot put your nose out the door without needing to spend money on it. Your social life could involve the need to purchase new clothes regularly, hair maintenance, tickets, travel, accommodation, food, alcohol and gifts. You may be coasting by on credit cards, or be one of the lucky ones who is flush with cash. Your behaviour when out might be outrageous, with loud singing on the street, wild dancing on table-tops, exhibitionism, screeching into Karaoke microphones, explicit flirtation, and spontaneous sexual activity. You can’t be easily found at the end of the night, and when you are, need to be carried out to a waiting taxi or dragged onto the bus. In your heightened state of emotion and adrenaline, you could easily get into confrontational scenes with others who are not impressed with your antics. Everyone thinks you’re mad, wicked and crazy – the life and soul of any party and great for a laugh. You are up for anything and are amazing at whipping up enthusiasm and motivation around you when things begin to dull.
However, and there always is a however, being the party animal is perfectly acceptable some of the time, but not always. It can be a sign of hyperactivity or mania. You may be too bright in the eyes and too wired. Those around may worry about you losing control and how they will manage you. You might be drinking and smoking too much if it has all become a habit. This Five could highlight a social circuit you frequent where you encounter others like yourself. This card reminds me of the high flying social scene of super models, young stars/starlettes and reality celebs. Champagne flows and paparazzi capture shots of scandalous behaviour and drunken dishevelment.
Party animals need to move on after a period of time, to grow up, mature, or settle down into a life that is more manageable and healthier for their system. They need to hand over the mantle to the younger crowd coming up behind, and take a well-earned rest. Most party animals follow this trend and have great stories to tell of their whacky days of yore, but for some, it destroys their lives and they end up a mess.
Underlying mental health issues might be the driving factor behind the most shocking behaviour. The party animal who is entertaining the crowd at a party by doing a striptease on the table-top may actually be suffering from bi-polar or manic depression. Their highs may lead them to behave in a scandalous manner, that might seem funny to onlookers but in truth is a tragedy unfolding before their eyes. Deep insecurity and hang-ups can lead people into party animal behaviour on the basis of needing attention from people. If the party animal cannot hold a normal conversation with you at some stage of the day or night, then there could be a problem.
On a purely light level, this card could be telling you to either rev up your social life, accept every invitation that comes your way, or slow down and withdraw. You might need to let your hair down and trip the light fandango and stay out late. It is easy to let our party side slip as the demands of life take over. Instead of hitting the floor to dance the night away at a party or event, we are found sipping on a drink gripping the side of our seat for fear someone will drag us out into the frenzied mob. Instead of being called ‘mad’ and ‘crazy’ people moan that we are no fun anymore, and a fuddy-duddy.
Remember, the Five of Wands would be a high energy card, and when related to partying and socialising, it gives you the nod of approval, and with it – a warning. If you want to hit the dancefloor and party all night, you must ensure you have the energy for it. You also need to replenish your energy after it too. Get some rest in between and don’t let your partying interfere negatively with the rest of your life.
If you are concerned about someone who seems to be able to party, party all night and every night, they may be taking some substance to keep going. Generally, this would be linked to the Reversed Five with supporting cards in the surrounding spread.
A Raging Flirt
Fire is magnetic and will be drawn to those who give it the right attention or flattery. Your personality may be predisposed to flirtation. You may find it hard to resist its allure and the illusions it creates. You enjoy the high it gives and the break from the everyday aspect of your own relationship. Flirtation offers the buzz of first love, the tantalising sexual attraction which may seem lost to you when in a long-term relationship. These involvements ideally keep you from accepting the responsibility of a relationship. You get to enjoy all the highs without having to deal with the lows, yet also have the background comfort zone of your partner or family to go home to.
Marking Your Territory
The Five of Wands depicts a group of figures battling over the same piece of turf or ground. There is a need to launch an attack even before there is perceived aggression shown towards them. They need to make their opponents fearful and put them off getting any closer. When we tie this into relationships we can find a partner who is extremely territorial about their partner. They are paranoid about any attention they get and are quick to move in and dismantle it. This could lead to angry or embarrassing scenes. Your partner may be very good looking or handsome with a great physique. Heads naturally turn as they enter a room, and even though you get immense pleasure out of this, you being the one they are with, you cannot help but feel someone else will swoop in and steal them from you if you drop your guard for a moment. It makes your blood boil when you see all the eyes ogling them. You know the moment your walk away, someone will move in and chat to them, wanting to get close and personal. Your partner cannot help the reaction they are causing, and if they are not deliberately seeking this attention, you really need to get a grip as paranoia an jealousy will destroy your relationship. However, your partner may like to provoke this jealous streak in you by playing up to the attention and advances they get. They may want to keep you on your toes and encourage such insecurity. Surrounding cards will determine if it is all in innocence or part of a game to keep you keen.
Up Against Stiff Competition
Should you have your heart set on a certain someone, The Five of Wands might suggest you are not the only one. Whoever you are after is extremely popular and can have their pick of several potential suitors. You might be up against stiff competition and wondering what the odds are in beating the rest. It is likely you are comparing yourself to the competition to see how you measure up. You either feel you are in with a good chance, or should quit while you still have your pride intact. The competition in the Five of Wands is usually quite fierce, but evenly matched. Regardless, each suitor will have his/her strong selling point. It could be looks, personality, charm, humour, physique, style, job, or money for example. Everyone is in with a good sporting chance, but there can only be one victor. It will be the person with the x-factor who will win the heart. It is time to focus on your strengths, not your weakness. Showcase yourself in the best possible light. You are every bit as good as your competitors. Be bold, daring and courageous. If you think this person is worth fighting for, then go for it. Don’t stand around in the background waiting to be noticed, get out into the action.
The Five of Wands is akin to the medieval jousting tournaments where Knights vied for the heart of a fair lady. They went into battle, sometimes mortal battle to acquire it. Jousting tournaments were the occasion for great sport and entertainment. People wore their best and jostled each other for the limelight. Knights, often friends of each other, rode against each other in competition. All was considered fair in love and war. Injuries and death did happen but life was meaningless without love. This card could suggest you are going all out to impress a certain person and are determined to win.
Playing The Field
Depending on surrounding cards, the Five of Wands could suggest playing the field. Like bees to honey, you might have several suitors in hot pursuit, but have not singled out one for special attention. In this case, there is no victor. Here we find lots of dating with various personality types. You are not yet ready to choose one over the other as you are having a good time and enjoy watching them fight for your attention. This card could also suggest you must choose between several potential partners. They all hold their own appeal, but you are at odds over which one will be most compatible. Speed dating might also be suggested. You might only have a limited time to impress, so need to make the most of it. A cheeky or brazen approach might single you out from the more conservative competitors.
When in pursuit of love, The Five of Wands could point to a Tomboy or Ladette type of attraction. Here we see an archetypal situation where females prefer to hang out with the guys. This could send out confusing signals. It may not seem appropriate to approach this person if you are interested. How can you tell if they see you as just one of the guys or a potential suitor? You are fearful of upsetting the balance should you suggest a relationship and get it wrong.
The Five of Wands can highlight a group of friends having issues with each other. Something has occurred; an incident or simmering discontent has come to the boil causing disharmony and annoyance. A spoken or unspoken code of honour among friends may have been broken causing individuals to rise up in anger and dismay. Friends could get quite vicious with each other, becoming very personal and stinging with their comments. After all, it’s friends who know exactly where the chinks in your armour are should they decide to launch an attack. Their blows can be particularly brutal and shocking. This is probably a situation that has gotten of control. It is being made out to be worse than it is with all involved getting carried away in drama or hysterics. Over consumption of alcohol can play havoc with perception and emotions. Dreadful name calling and unsightly behaviour could leave you feeling wretched, stupid, regretful and ashamed when the heat has cooled down. Friends could fall out for some time, but it should not be allowed drag on. It is best to calm down and take a good look in the mirror. Try to see the hilarious side in it. They need to apologise and put it behind them. Can anyone actually remember who started it?
Hunting In A Pack – Mob Mentality
The Five of Wands could also throw the spotlight on a group or circle you move in that has a reputation for being tough and quick to react aggressively or negatively. You may be barred from certain venues and social events if you and your mates have a reputation for causing or making trouble. People may give you a wide berth or deliberately look the other way when they see you approaching. The trouble is the group you are in think themselves cool. They may pride themselves on their reputation for trouble and work hard to maintain it. A scene of some sort must always be made. It might start with picking on someone they claim is looking at them in a disparaging way, a bar tender who is slow to serve, a waiter who gets their order mixed up or a door man at a night club refusing entry. They can be difficult, loud and rowdy, causing mayhem when on vacation and disturbing the peace of others. They could take an instant dislike to an individual who fails to be impressed by their antics or who is obviously superior to them. They can make this person’s life miserable. If you can identify with this group, you should make an effort to distance yourself as they are doing nothing but bringing you down. They are neither cool nor funny and you would be better off without them. Your chance of meeting anyone decent or respectable while associated with this bunch is very limited. You will only attract similar personalities to this group, and could jump from the frying pan to the fire in a dysfunctional relationship. However, breaking away may not be that easy as they could react negatively to your growing distance. They may not want to see you succeed.
Fighting Over The Same Person
The Five of Wands in a love reading could suggest competition for the one you are interested in. Competition this time comes from within your tight circle of friends causing tension, suspicion and uncharitable feelings towards each other. There may be rows over who saw the person first, who is most suitable and who has the best chance of scoring. Friends may trip each other up in an effort to stymie anyone’s progress in this area. Secretive behaviour and failing to share information and gossip with each other occurs, as those in competition seek to make advances unknownst to the others. They could begin to socialise outside the circle while in pursuit of the certain person. Friends could throw themselves unashamedly at this person, desperate to make an impression and scoop the prize. Competitors will look for backing and support, so friends will be asked to take sides or promote one in favour of the other. It can all become nasty, bitchy and underhand with gossip and telling tales on each other.
Not Listening To Advice Of Friends
The Five of Wands when Upright highlights individuals who are very much out for their own gain. Even though we see them in a group, we get the impression they all do their own thing and have little time for the needs, rights, or wishes of each other. In this light, we must look at deliberate resistance to heeding the advice or warnings of concerned friends. Regardless of what they say, you will be doing your own thing for right or wrong. You are not prepared to listen to their opinions, the facts of the matter, or information they may have pertaining to your situation. You are being very bull-headed and cannot be swayed from a course of action you are intent on pursuing. If this relates to a relationship, your friends may not support your choice of partner, causing clashes and falling out. You are prepared to take the risk on it and will have to live with the consequences if any. You might take this approach with most things, always having to learn the hard way, never going with the flow or treading carefully.
Partner’s Friends – A Bit Wild, But Great Craic!
The Five of Wands could suggest the friendship you have with your partner’s friends. Here we find quite a wild bunch with strong personalities and big egos. Going out for the night, or on vacation with them is not for the faint-hearted as they can be quite rowdy and boisterous. You have seen them do mad things, pull crazy stunts and literally get away with murder. They may see you as a bit tame and reserved, but they work around you. They probably try to bring you out of your shell and involve you in the fun but you can never fully let yourself go to that extent. Even though they act tough and crazy they are a good bunch with their hearts in the right place. They would be quick to run to your aid and defend your honour if necessary. You can’t help but laugh at their carry on but are not terribly relaxed when your partner heads out for the night with them. You just never know what will happen, where they will end up, when they will come home, what state they will be in and what mess you will have to clean up after them. You are hoping they will eventually grow up and settle but you might be waiting some time for that to happen. This is their natural spirit which becomes greatly enhanced when they are all together. They are at their best when hunting in a pack or travelling as a mob. They are quite tight so even one missing member will upset the dynamics. Therefore, they are pretty insistent on a full turn out for each gathering. Your partner might be quite different when on his/her own.
In The Five of Wands we find you pulling out all the stops in your determination to climb the social ladder. You are not one for taking no for an answer when those in charge seek to turn you away from gaining entry. If you cannot get in the front door, there is always the back, or even a window to climb through or gate to scale. You are prepared to do or say anything to be part of the crowd. The imagery in the Five sees you attempt to construct a façade or pretence around you, styled on those you have observed and admired. This could involve adopting a look, dress sense, accent and attitude that will help you fit in. You have a sensitive nose for competition and move fast to scupper their chances if they seek to advance or overtake your position. You are all after the one thing and this does not encourage warmth or friendship. Everyone is a threat. It is a tough career you have chosen, but you are determined to succeed.
Having To Watch Your Back
In the Five of Wands we see five figures battling or challenging each other. Most of the opponents face each other head on. The figure in red is intent on challenging the a combatant in the blue and white print jerkin positioned to the right of the imagery. It is unclear if he is aware of the opponent closing in from behind but he has left himself at risk of an attack from behind. The figure behind him is focussed on confronting another combatant, but could if he so chooses, change direction and whack the figure in red from behind. Depending on your situation, this card may be advising you to watch your back as you are exposed and vulnerable to injury and hurt where love is concerned. Also, an attack may blind side you. You may not see it coming or believe you had any reason for concern.
The Five of Wands throws up the possibility you are not averse to drawing attention, gaining publicity and being the cause of gossip, rumour and speculation. This card could suggest you are not the most private of persons and are quite open to airing your laundry, both clean and dirty, in public. You share most of your life on social media, with a constant flow of photos, selfies and video footage. If you haven’t your own YouTube channel set up, it is something that would interest you considerably. This card could imply you are hosting your own reality show via vlogging or would like to. The various figures in the imagery of this card can represent the outside world, the viewing public, accessing all areas of your life. You might be seeking to attract followers and could go out of your way to create outrageous or controversial videos that will cause a strong reaction. The Five of Wands in its Upright aspect can highlight the pros and cons of allowing the world into your home, life and relationship. Here we see both followers and trolls. However, under this energy it is unlikely to affect you. Any attention or reaction to your videos is better than none. Traffic is important to your success, so the more the merrier. If you do not already have a YouTube Channel, the videos you post on social media are growing in popularity so it might be worth a shot if you are that way inclined.
Gaining public attention or fame may not necessarily come through hosting your own video channel, but as an individual or couple, you will be interested in participating on Reality TV shows or programs that require public participation. You don’t mind getting up and sharing your story with the world or making a show of yourself on camera to achieve a goal or grand prize. In fact, you are up for anything and should go for it. The experience will be great and who knows where it will lead to?
The Five of Wands can suggest work-related external demands interfering in a relationship. You, your partner, or both of you, may spend significant time at work. There may be a business to run or ongoing work-related travel. Work may be brought home each day. There may be no cut off time from work. You might be studying for career advancement as well as working. There will be little time for your relationship and it is likely you sense this, but feel there is little you can do about it at present. If the couple is strong and have foreseen the issues facing them, they will survive. It is only a temporary situation, and for the moment they must get on with things, safe in the knowledge they have each other’s backs and are supportive.
Problems arise when work is allowed take over a couple’s relationship by becoming the norm. One partner may be spending too much time at work and is rarely home or around when needed. Partners may pass each other fleetingly as they come and go to work, getting home late at night after everyone is in bed. Outings, breaks or other social activities may be cancelled regularly due to the growing work demands of a partner. This will be tolerated for some time as there is an understanding of mutual benefit from any additional work. It is when one can no longer rely on their partner to fulfil any promises, or keep their word because of work, the rot begins to set in. A partner gets used to regularly letting down his/her partner. In the beginning, this may cause dreadful rows and upset, but as time goes on, resignation or indifference sets in. A relationship can drift apart as partners no longer include each other in their plans or life. They might reside under one roof, but will eventually begin to live separate lives. If there are children involved, the parent with such extreme work commitments may lose connection with them. Where indifference creeps in, there may be a false sense of security as any arguments about work no longer occur. It is likely the affected partner has given up. This is a bad sign and can lead to an eventual break-up.
Taking On Too Much
External demands may also be of your own making. Wands love to get involved in clubs, organisations, committees and interesting projects. They tend to say yes to anything that catches their attention or interest. As a result, you may have taken on too many external commitments which are now out of control. If you volunteered your time, energy or skills to others, you might have underestimated what was involved. It is likely your time is not your own anymore as you dash out of the house each evening or at the weekend. You are needed here there and everywhere, your phone constantly pinging with requests for your time or input. You are trying to keep everyone happy, but your relationship might be suffering. Friends and acquaintances may think you wonderful as you help dig out their back garden or lay bricks for their extension, but your own home might need serious attention. Time to get your priorities in order. You need to politely back out of certain non-essential commitments as your relationship needs to be focussed on. You might find this very hard to do as you will hate to let people down. It may however seem to your partner that you have no difficulty in letting them down. You might think your partner understands and is accepting. If you are in a relationship with such a person, it is likely you are quite tolerant if he or she has always been like this. It could be part of the reason you were drawn to them. However, if this behaviour is recent, it might suggest your partner would rather be out, than at home. You must ask why this might be?
No Time For Relationships
The Five of Wands can suggest you are too busy with your career to give time to relationships. You are socially active, but avoid getting involved with anyone. Your focus is not on romance, but getting ahead. You are extremely ambitious and have your priorities in order. Relationships must wait, for you are not prepared to threaten your career for one. In the Upright Five of Wands you make very deliberate choices. You understand that just like your job or career needs focus and attention, so does a relationship. You accept you cannot have both right now as one will suffer for the other. You are not in a position to offer commitment to anyone. You are totally in love with your job, studies, or career and need no more. Work could take you anywhere, at any minute. You must be free to go, without complication or recrimination.
Another aspect of the above situation is a temporary withdrawal from your current relationship, or the seeking of one. You may be involved in a very important work project that demands you to be on call 24/7. You are part of a team and your role is vital. You cannot allow external distractions to get in the way. You may need to be absent or unavailable to your partner during this time, or if single, avoid dating altogether as the two won’t mix. Here we see sports professionals who withdraw from the pressure and expectations of relationships during periods of intense training and competition.
The Five of Wands could suggest you are dating a professional sportsperson.
Get Moving and Have Some Fun!
If you are beginning to feel restless, or your relationship has become staid and stale, The Five of Wands appearing in your reading may be the antidote. Time to get active and fit. Join a club, group, take up a sport together, or get involved in a community project. Something challenging and demanding is needed to light your fire.
The Five of Wands can be seen as irritating and annoying, but it also brings fun and harmless fooling around. With the constant demands of life; work, family and home, couples can lose their sense of adventure and humour. The appearance of this card in your relationship reading could suggest you have become too serious. It is high time you had a good laugh and get in touch with your inner child. Team activity, or just mucking in together is suggested in this card, so maybe think about a camping trip with the kids, or a day trip to an adventure/theme park. Challenge each other in games and unleash your competitive side. Don’t be afraid to get dirty or bruised. Outdoor pursuits are favoured. Do something crazy together that will make you laugh and feel young.
If you are planning a vacation together, why not consider a challenging trip. It might involve getting fit or going into training before you go.
Now we look at the downside of having an online presence and encouraging public reaction. The Five of Wands could suggest you are under attack from trolls, or a certain troll, via social media outlets. You may be receiving nasty comments that are designed to hurt or illicit a reaction. Troll behaviour on personal social media pages is often linked to someone being jealous of who you are and what you do, but it could also be coming from someone who in their own mind feels justified in taking you down. You may be dating someone with an ex-partner or spouse who is wild with jealousy over your very existence. The comments may be even more vitriolic if you were a third-party in their relationship or are assumed to be the cause of their breakup. The troll might have encouraged their friends to troll you too, so there may be incoming fire from several angles. If you find yourself in this situation, it would be wise to change your page to private status and carefully go through those you have friended. You may have to unfriend several to bring the number down to only close friends you can trust. Even then, do not share too much information about your relationship online. If the trolls can still find you, this may be seen as provocation by them. They want to get to you and the worst thing you can do is react or respond in any way. There is a guideline used for when you encounter trolls online. ‘Don’t feed the trolls’ is the advice given. This means do not give them a way in, a line of response, or add further fuel to their fire. Reacting to them is what feeds and keeps them going, so cut off that supply at source. Blacklist their IP address or block them by whatever tools are available to you.
In the Five of Wands Upright, Troll behaviour is generally transient. It can be very active, irritating and upsetting, but is likely to blow over. It is probably an initial reaction from someone who has lost the run of themselves. This person may be the least likely suspect under normal circumstances. The hope is they will come to their senses, read back what they have typed and feel ashamed. In the Reversed Five of Wands, we see troll behaviour either settle, or step up in intensity. If it seems to be getting out of hand and causing you undue stress and upset, it would be wise to report the trolling to the necessary authorities.
House Building/Renovation Issues
In the Four of Wands we found a couple investing in their home and enjoying domestic bliss. Much attention focused on finding the perfect house and making a beautiful home out of it. Some couples were prepared to renovate or build, and under the positive energy of the Four, were sailing through without any problems. In the Five of Wands smiles are replaced by grimaces as the first problems surface. Now the Five of Wands doesn’t typically deal with serious issues. The challenges may not be as big as people are making them out to be. On first glance, or discovery, you might freak out, but a solution can be found by staying calm. Running around like headless chickens will get you nowhere. Problems or setbacks on the home-front brings work to a halt and momentum is lost as you work to sort them out. You might discover dry rot, leaking pipes, structural weakness or planning issues. You could run out of money or didn’t budget accordingly. Your house could be turning into a money-pit. You probably did not see this coming and have no contingency plan in place.
If you are hiring a team of builders, check their credentials to make sure they know what they are doing. The Five of Wands can showcase what will happen if a building job is not overseen by a Project Manager. Hiring several independent tradespeople with great qualifications will come to nothing unless you have someone to pull it all together. It looks like no one is in charge and everyone doing as they please or see fit. A bit like hospital departments, their medical teams will only deal with their own speciality, and show little interest in what’s going on in the rest of your body. In the Five of Wands we also find disgruntled builders who are not happy with your bossy attitude towards them. They could rebel by slowing down or not showing up at all. It is best to develop a good working relationship with your builders, but also let them know you are in charge. If you are not paying close attention to your lovely home build or renovation, builders may make certain decisions on your behalf. You may not be happy with them. It is important to keep control and your eye on things. Builders could also damage existing structures, underground piping or overhead wiring.
The Five of Wands could suggest you are living in a building site if you have been overly enthusiastic about your DIY abilities. It all seemed so achievable. Walls came down easily with the sledgehammer and you just got carried away. The momentum is lost with the first sign of problems. You might not be able to sort them yourself, but will not admit defeat. As a result, you get used to the mess you live in with missing doors, half-plastered walls and exposed wiring. Jobs go on the long finger and remain unfinished. You might not have the time to complete the projects, the skills, enough money, or have lost interest. This situation can cause stress between partners and ultimately leads to nagging.
Following on from the Barn Raising of The Upright Five, we now find a scenario where instead of getting in the professionals to carry out work on your house or garden, you call on the help of a few neighbours who may or may not know what they are doing, but will give it a go anyway. This may turn out to be an expensive lesson if they end up making a botched job of it. It could be a false sense of economy in the long run if professionals need to be called in to undo the mess.
Ants In Your Pants
If you have just settled into a new home or completed a build, you might already be thinking of moving again or wish to get your hands dirty once more on a new project. You like when things are happening, the doing bit of things, and feel restless when there is nothing going on. Yes, it was all chaotic at the time but now you realise how much you thrive on stress. The exciting bit for you is in the creation of something new, holding the raw materials in your hands before they are combined and take form. There is nothing like holding a vision of the perfect outcome in your head and tweaking it this way and that until it comes into manifestation. Nothing is set in stone, you can make changes and alterations as they occur to you. It is a time when potential is infinite, when anything can and most likely will happen. You are not quite ready to settle into your comfy slippers and chill out in front of the fire. Already you are inspired by creative urges and ideas which you are keen to try out. As a couple, this is best approached as a joint venture because the mayhem it will cause has the power to destroy your relationship. If you are both game for it, the challenge will not seem as daunting. The fun part is in creating, in putting it altogether. Once that is done, it is time to move on once more. If only one of you is up for the challenge, there will not be sufficient energy to carry it off irrespective of how enthusiastic and idealistic you might be.
The Five of Wands can suggest a nomadic type of lifestyle. You never quite settle anywhere, quickly exhausting fascination or interest in your current environment. Regardless of where you move to, or set up shop, it is doubtful you ever fully unpack. What is the point when you know in your heart and soul you will need to repack soon after. This card can see you moving constantly from location to location but the environment will likely be unusual and out of the ordinary. You might trek off to remote parts of the world to see what life is like there before moving on elsewhere. There may be a thrill seeker element to your choice of destination which could see you living in extreme environments that offer challenge and risk. The Five suggests this might be a family adventure as you drag the whole family into all kinds of new scenarios. There is a wild spirit sense about this card which might attract a new-age, hippy or eccentric lifestyle energy. Check for the presence of The Fool, Empress, Star or World.
As an individual or couple, you might also be trying out several enterprising business ventures, but again these are of a transitory nature. We might be looking at pop-up shops that can be moved from venue to venue in chase of consumer impact and rapid turnover. There is an ethos of having a go at a variety of on-trend or unusual ventures that have not yet been tried and tested by the mass. You are convinced that at least one will strike gold for you. You might desire to escape the humdrum world of your everyday jobs in favour of a more enriching experience. You could sell up and cash in all your savings, risking all for a more stimulating life.
Room for Kids
The Five of Wands could be confirming your desire for a lively, bustling neighbourhood. You might be happier in a town or city environment. Peace and quiet may not be your thing. Residential areas or estates with gardens and plenty of room for kids to play and roam are favoured. Rural areas or detached houses might seem desirable in theory, but are not practical for your needs. You don’t want to end up as a taxi driver. Give much consideration to everyone’s needs before committing. The Five of Wands could also suggest you are beginning to throw out some ideas about upsizing if your family is starting to expand. Your current accommodation might be getting too cramped. There isn’t room to swing a cat, kids’ toys are everywhere, laundry is meeting you on the staircase and stuff is piling up in each corner. It’s like living in a box. Everyone is either excited about a proposed move, or dead set against it. You won’t be able to please everyone. Be prepared for kids fighting over who gets the biggest bedroom.
Issues With Neighbours
Another aspect to consider in this card is the possibility of neighbours opposing the plans you have for building or renovation. If you have not got off to a good start with them, they could throw many spanners in the works when the Five of Wands appears. There could be arguments about land barriers, access rights, or view obstructions for example. Neighbours might see you as blows-ins intent on destroying their area. Time to foster good relationships with your immediate neighbours. Invite them over to inspect your work so far. Inform them of any early morning construction work and noisy machinery. Pre-empt any potential objections, and diffuse them before they become an issue.
Neighbours From Hell!
The Five of Wands can also highlight the dilemma of discovering you have moved in beside rowdy or disruptive neighbours. This is everyone’s nightmare when deciding on a house to buy or rent. Neighbours can be disrespectful. Ongoing noise, comings and goings at all hours of the day and night, rows, loud music, high volume TV, kids screaming at each other, parents screaming at the kids and each other, cars revved in the driveway, and constant slamming of doors may have your nerves on edge. Your lovely new home may lose its appeal. The Five of Wands can appear as a red flag when you are considering purchasing or renting a certain property. If peace and calm is what you are seeking, you won’t find it in this house. It would be wise to visit or drive by at various times of the day, night and week to determine what goes on and how busy it gets.
Not Fitting In
The Five of Wands could also suggest you feel out of sorts with the area you have moved to. You might not be fitting in as you had hoped, or perhaps it is the community that’s not welcoming. You may discover little in common with your neighbours and are finding it difficult to make friends. You have tried hard to become part of the community but are seen as an outsider. Any offer of friendship you make is regarded suspiciously. You may stand out as very different from the crowd and could be deemed a threat to their everyday existence. There is a lack of support and basic friendliness. You have no one to call on in an emergency or when a helping hand is needed.
On the other hand, you may be trying too hard to fit in. You could be acting overly friendly or familiar in an effort to please the neighbourhood. You might be coming on too strong which will make people wary of you or suspicious of your intentions. This is a period of transition and you can’t expect to be part of the fixtures and fittings of your community overnight. Allow people time and space to get to know you. Then again, you might be asserting yourself in a negative manner, being controversial or forceful in your interactions. You may trample over the local traditions and pay scant regard to the hierarchy that exists in such places. Blatant disrespect will win you no friends even if you think it all a lot of nonsense and old-fashioned. You must co-exist with these people so it would be wise to develop tolerance, give and take, and look for common ground to work from.
Over Familiar With Neighbours – Moving Too Fast
The Five of Wands may warn of the drawback of getting to know your neighbours too fast or rushing to fit in before it happens naturally. Now that you have moved into your new home, there is a chance you will draw the curiosity of neighbours who may call to your home with invites and offers of friendship. You might feel delighted with this welcome and be eager to accept any invitation that comes your way. It is wonderful to have nice people around and you desire is to get to know everyone. However, caution is required. Before throwing yourself into friendships with everyone and anyone who comes your way, step back and ask yourself if they are the type of friends you want in the first place? You may be letting into your house and life, someone who might not be that easy to get rid of should you change your mind. Some who offer friendship may simply be nosy, wanting to have a look around your home and find out who the new people are before everyone else. They may be out to stake a claim on you, to mark you as one of their circle. If you allow them in too soon, and then attempt to withdraw, you might make an enemy out of them if they feel insulted. You don’t want to go down that road as life will become quite stressful, especially if they hold some clout in the area.
Take your time with making friends and observe your neighbours before getting too close. You need to separate the trouble makers or gossipers from the genuine people who want to live and let live. Cliques are common in neighbourhoods. Should you get into the wrong one from off, it might prove difficult to extricate yourself. Your association with the wrong crowd might go against you with other groups you seek entry into. It is all street/village/town politics at the end of the day.
Getting Stuck In With The Neighbours
In this interpretation, we find you jumping in at the deep end with new neighbours who are eager to introduce you to their social scene. It certainly seems to be rocking where you live, with street parties, drinks evenings, dinner parties and get-togethers. Everyone wants to see if you are as mad and crazy as they are. This scenario often develops when young couples move into a fledgling residential area. In general couples are living on their uppers, struggling to get to grips with mortgages and utility bills. There is an atmosphere of all being in it together. With little money for outside entertainment, they party at home and in each other’s houses. During this stage, many things can happen. Firm, life-long relationships, or life-long dislikes or grudges can be birthed. Generally, all start out happy-clappy with each other, but time and exposure to incidents and issues can take their toll. Enjoy the good times which will get even better when kids arrive.
Barn Raising – With A Little Help From My Friends!
During the formative years of bonding with neighbours, we can find great support and a willingness to help each other out with just about anything. With an agreed understanding that everyone is just starting out, neighbours will be keen to share skills, trades, time, and energy. Therefore, you might be getting help from your neighbours with building projects, plumbing/electrical repairs, patio laying, landscaping and other such areas where combined knowledge and ability can pull off great feats over a weekend. Like barn raising, it can be great fun and there is always the food and drink to look forward to afterwards. This card could also be suggesting you offer your assistance to those in your neighbourhood. Help out where you can, be neighbourly.
In the Four of Wands we celebrated the joyous news of pregnancy and child birth as happy parents and families welcomed their new arrivals. Not every hopeful parent was as lucky. Some experienced difficulty in conceiving and carrying a baby to full term. We also had pregnancies that brought many challenges, such as horrendous nausea and complications that caused upset and concern. Getting pregnant and happily sailing through that pregnancy may be the domain of the Upright Three and Four, but in the Five it becomes somewhat of a battle. What we assume comes naturally may need some active encouragement or possible force. The Five of Wands suggests you are not having an easy time of getting pregnant and feel your body is at odds with you. Where is the teamwork you ask as your body conspires against you? You never thought it would be as difficult as this.
The Five of Wands can also suggest you are open to trying new approaches that claim to increase your chances of getting pregnant. You might be trying out a new pregnancy diet, taking certain power supplements or checking out alternative therapies. You might even consider certain controversial methods that perhaps have very little empirical evidence to back them up. The Five of Wands can also imply a narrowed view of things and this could be coming from your medical professional team who might be quite negative about your chances of conceiving. In this card, you disagree with them or oppose their findings. You know where there is a will there is a way and are not prepared to give up on your quest without putting up a good fight first.
Following on from the previous Reversed Wand cards, the Five of Wands could imply frustration with IVF. Prior attempts may have proved unsuccessful but you are prepared to push ahead with more. The treatment and process itself could be taking its toll on you. You might feel ill from hormone treatment, emotionally unstable and weight could be fluctuating causing bloating and fullness. Your body feels like it is under siege and you just don’t recognise yourself anymore. You know it is a process but it is not making it any easier for you. If you have had a couple of failed cycles behind you, it could result in growing irritation and upset. You are tired of being prodded and poked by everyone and feel you have lost your dignity.
Adoption Complications/Red Tape
Ongoing uphill battles for those going through the process of applying for adoption can feature in the Five of Wands. Just when you think you have answered all the questions, been interviewed and investigated in and out, you are hit with yet another form to fill and clearance to achieve. All you want to do is give a really good home to a deserving child but the path to adoption is riddled with red tape and complex protocol. It is a bit of a mine field and at times you believe it is made as challenging as possible just to scare you off, to separate the genuine from the idealistic. If you have been trying to adopt a baby from another country this could prove even more difficult as you come up against opposition instead of cooperation. Every country has its own adoption laws and procedures so you must be flexible, even when they seem unreasonable. You may be up against language or legal differences which make it hard to understand and be understood. There might also be a shortage of babies or children for adoption. Other couples want what you want for the same reasons. You are trying hard not to feel competitive about it all. Scrutiny and vetting will be intense for obvious reasons. Notwithstanding all this, you are not prepared to give up and will do what needs to be done to achieve your dream. Perhaps there are other options you have not contemplated yet? You might have to explore other avenues. Make sure you are talking to the right people. Patience is required of you now.
The Five of Wands could suggest an interest in Fostering a child, but especially several of them. You might want to do this as an individual or couple. You have a desire to change the world and want to make a difference to the lives of children or adolescents who may have issues getting placed in regular foster homes. You are not daunted by the prospect of taking on such responsibility. The Five of Wands could imply you are particularly drawn to children from troubled backgrounds who may be a handful to deal with or display aggressive tendencies. You see these children as having suffered at the hands of force and an often unsympathetic approach by the authorities. You understand they will need certain handling and want to show them how good life can be. In the Five of Wands we see children coming into your care who have probably been beaten or abused. They may behave in this manner themselves as a result of learned behaviour. It will take some time and patience to reprogram them. You will need great courage and fortitude.
In both Upright and Reverse, The Five of Wands could highlight the need for children to be placed in foster care if there are aggressive situations at home or in their environment.
If you have a plethora of health conditions that must be carefully managed due to pregnancy, the Five of Wands can highlight how challenged you feel. For example, your blood sugars may be all over the place if you have diabetes. Your hormones have you feeling rotten with nausea, your skin is in breakout mode and your emotions have you breaking down in tears constantly. If you are on medication for mental health issues or conditions, pregnancy could affect your dosage requirements. However, the good news is, you are up for the challenge and accept the current inconvenience and upheaval in the knowledge the fight will be worth it. You want a baby and are prepared to go through anything to get it.
Depending on your circumstances, background and where you live, you may be encountering some stiff opposition or closed attitudes to certain plans you have around the management of your pregnancy and the birth. It is possible you are seeking an unusual approach that breaks from the norm and what your medical team are trained in. You might have to stand firm on the rejections to your plans, and work hard to convince them of its viability. They could see you as difficult and question why you just can’t have a baby like everyone else does. If you manage to pull this off, you could be setting a precedence for other parents-to-be in the future.
The Five of Wands could also see you invite a film crew to record your pregnancy and the birth. You may have decided to give birth on Facebook Live for instance or be part of a fly on the wall documentary.
Labour itself could prove to be a doddle or endurance test. Your baby could make a dramatic entrance, in the back of a car, on the floor of a restaurant, mid-flight or half-way up a mountain. In the imagery, we see everyone caught off guard by the surprise arrival. It may involve members of the public, strangers or passers-by being part of the birth of your child. What a wonderful story to tell your child when he/she is older. The event could even make the news or go viral on social media.
Little Support In Pregnancy
The Five of Wands can highlight external disapproval of a pregnancy. We could be looking at a pregnancy that is deemed inappropriate, scandalous, underage or even unlawful depending on culture and circumstances involved. There is little help or support for you during this time. Indeed, you may be treated like an outcast with nasty comments made about you and doors slammed in your face. People might be angry with you and the circumstances that surround the pregnancy.
Feeling Conflicted About A Pregnancy
Depending on your situation, The Five of Wands could imply you are not exactly over the moon about being pregnant. It may be the last thing you need right now. You are not happy with the news and might feel distressed. This is a change you didn’t need. It might be that you have a family and thought you were finished with pregnancies and childbirth. This is not the sole domain of the mother, but the father or partner might be equally discouraged. Things are tight enough without having another mouth to feed. You might be at a stage where you can eventually concentrate on your career or go back to work after rearing your children to a certain age. This changes everything and you will be at pains to know what to do.
You might also have reached an age where you believed you had your life back and could come and go as you please. You thought your fertility should be on the wane, not still active. The Hermit with The Empress or High Priestess, Ace of Cups, Four of Cups and especially Nine of Pentacles (any pregnancy card) could indicate a pregnancy at a time of life when you would be considered too old or past it as far as having a baby is concerned. The Reversed Empress, Reversed High Priestess, Reversed Emperor/Magician and Fool accompanying The Hermit in this manner but highlighting other Pregnancy cards might suggest a shock pregnancy that happens after one believes they are in menopause or post vasectomy. It is the last thing anyone expects and because of this, partners could be lax about contraception.
The Five of Wands could raise the dilemma of deciding to keep it or terminate. You might not be able to see where a baby fits in your life right not. You could be resentful and angry about getting trapped.
More Pregnancy Dilemmas
From another aspect, this card could highlight a situation where your pregnancy has caused an uproar to everyone around you. You might have health issues, or are considered too old. You could receive conflicting advice about your chances of carrying full-term, producing a healthy child and coming safely out of it yourself. You might be presented with options to terminate. You are certainly in a dilemma and do not know what to think or do. Your mind changes from one day to the next. One day you are all set to take whatever is coming your way, positive about your chances, only to wake the next morning petrified and wanting a way out as soon as possible. Instead of thinking positively you fret over all the things that can go wrong for both you and the baby. What if your baby is born with some congenital defects or health issues because of your own health problems or age? Will it be your fault, will everyone blame you? Then if you go ahead with termination, will you wonder for ever and a day what might have been, would the baby have been normal, you safe, and everyone live happily ever after? This is a very personal decision and not one that can be made with tarot cards irrespective of wanting someone else to decide for you. This interpretation only highlights the issues, but does not offer a solution, a yes or no. That is your responsibility. The only advice would be what anyone would give. Get a second or even third opinion, do your own research and seek professional counselling. Several Twos in a reading would suggest second opinions, while the Hermit, Temperance, Four of Swords, King of Cups/Swords would suggest counselling or professional advice. The Hierophant would point to support from your congregation or church if you that is where you normally turn to.
Nesting Issues /Lack of Domestic Stability
In the Reversed Four of Wands we explored the possibility of disruptions on the home front having the potential to interfere with conception. You might be trying hard to get pregnant in the midst of instability and transience. The domestic side of your life may lack stability and balance for many reasons. Your career might involve a lot of travel, having to pack, unpack and then pack again with little time to settle or relax in between. Rental contracts could necessitate having to move regularly. You could be living in an arrangement that involves putting up with routines and things you must abide by as can happen when circumstances find us having to stay with, or put up by, others, including family or in-laws. You might be tense and stressed, with very little privacy to pursue conception in peace. If the nest is not right, inharmonious, disruptive, unhappy or unstable, successfully conceiving a child might prove challenging. Often people do not realise the importance of a stable environment when attempting to get pregnant. It can be a subconscious thing. We try our best, say we desperately want a baby, but deep down we feel unsettled, even nervous about bringing a child into our current environment. The Five of Wands could point to Mother Nature putting invisible brakes on until your situation has calmed down. It is worth considering this possibility when the Five of Wands appears in a reading about your hopes for pregnancy. If you find you are quietly questioning the sanity of having a baby at a particular chaotic time of life, you might be right.
Temporary Housing/Transient Accommodation
As a family, you may be in temporary accommodation or find yourself in a situation that requires you to move house regularly. There is a transient feel to this card which could be very de-stabilising for all involved, especially children who will experience the upheaval and insecurity of leaving friends behind and possibly schools too. You might be struggling financially and cannot afford to pay rent or mortgage which results in notice to quit or evictions. You might need to move on regularly if you are experiencing aggression at home with a partner. This could be habitual. If the Five of Pentacles appears close by, you could even be homeless as we find the five figures arrive to repossess your home or turf you out onto the street. You might resist and attempt to stand your ground but no one really cares, and at the end of the day they tell you they are just doing their job. There may be scenes and drama. You could be living in a shelter or housed in a series of hotel rooms by the social services where there is little privacy and possible threat. Your children could be exposed to aggressive personalities and undesirable types on the streets if you are forced into homelessness. The Five of Pentacles with the Five of Wands and Five of Swords would highlight a very worrying scenario if you identify with this interpretation.
You could be locked into this lifestyle, unable to get a break. Nothing seems to work out for you and life is constantly against you. You may think that nothing will ever change, but it can and you must remain hopeful and positive. The most important thing is to stay together and work hard to get a roof over your head that cannot be lost or taken from you with the stroke of a pen. You are part of the solution so be proactive and determined. If the problem is your own doing, as in causing trouble, deliberately not paying rent or thrashing your accommodation, nothing will change until you do. Children need a secure and stable home environment if they are to thrive and flourish as balanced members of society.
Moving home regularly could be associated with work where you are under contract or post assignment. This is a very different type of transient accommodation. It can be an enriching experience but could also be extremely destabilising. Most of us need to feel we have roots somewhere. A sign that children are reacting negatively to constant moving is if they begin to create a corner of their room into a staged ‘my place’ that is sacrosanct. They will set up this space in a particular manner and no one is allowed touch or disturb it. Every time they move, they will recreate this space. In a world they have no control over, this is the only thing that remains constant for them. No matter what happens, where they go, or end up, this sacred space, laid out in a specific personal manner becomes their comfort blanket. They say a change is as good as good as a rest, but constant change is wearing for anyone.
Concerns About Bringing Children Into An Unstable World
Anxiety about the state of the world can also be a worrying factor when thinking about, or trying to get pregnant. Every day the media feeds us terrifying breaking news of yet more aggressive acts, escalating hostilities and the persecution of millions of innocent men, women and children. Terrorist attacks have become a common day occurrence, and where we once feared flying because of possible engine failure, we now must worry about individuals whose sole aim is to bring the plane down and kill everyone on it, including themselves. Horrific nuclear weapons are being successfully launched as threats to neighbouring nations or perceived enemies. Our stomachs turn when we hear of yet another child gone missing, abducted or murdered. We also worry about all the things that can go wrong during a pregnancy, the health of the baby, childhood illnesses, cot deaths, choking. The list goes on and on. Why wouldn’t we worry about the future and what type of world our children might inherit?
The Five of Wands suggests normal worries in relation to these matters. When children enter the scene, we find ourselves worrying about anything and everything, both little and large. This is part of the reality of being a parent and most of us find a way to reassure ourselves and avoid being overly dramatic or catastrophic in our outlook. The protective instinct gets particularly strong when we become parents. The Five of Swords on the other hand, might suggest something very real to worry about in your environment such as being pregnant or giving birth in a war zone or disaster. Threats may be close by and not imagined. The Five of Swords could also imply depression during or after pregnancy related to fear of the future and world safety. Thankfully, the Five of Wands carries less concern but can make us feel ill at ease and unsure about everything.
Exercising During Pregnancy
The Five of Wands could suggest a very active pregnancy. You may be heavily involved in sport and do not see why pregnancy should get in the way of continuing your level of intensity. You might be determined to keep fit and exercise regularly right up to the end. You could be determined to run a marathon heavily pregnant, continue to climb mountains or canoe down rapids. The Five of Wands shows your grit and stamina. After all you are pregnant, not ill. Your body is tough and will support you. However, if surrounding cards show physical weakness or fatigue, this card could be implying you are overdoing it, trying to keep up a business as normal approach even when your body is breaking under the strain. You could worry about getting back to form if you let it go for too long. You might be out to prove to others that pregnancy isn’t going to stop you, but you do need to listen to your body and the advice of your doctor or obstetrician. Reduce unnecessary heavy or high intensity exercise with something gentler. The muscular-skeletal system is more prone to injury during pregnancy. Overdoing it in the gym could bring on back problems which will become increasingly more painful as pregnancy proceeds.
Single Parent Struggles
Depending on your circumstances, the Five of Wands can highlight the daily struggle of single parents. In this interpretation, we cover the demands of raising a child or children single-handedly. You might be holding down a full-time job, developing a demanding career, running a business, or in full-time study. You could be juggling both work and study while rearing your child. You might also be holding down more than one job to cover your financial overheads. You must be both mother and father to your child as well as good cop and bad cop as the needs arise. You are solely responsible for keeping the show on the road each day, getting baby/children up in the morning, feeding, packing lunches and baby bags, making bottles, drop offs at childminders, creche, school etc. It is multi-tasking in the extreme. You also need to keep on top of the housework, grocery shopping and attend to their individual emotional, physical and psychological needs. And, this is all before your own day job, studies, or doing anything for yourself. Each day seems like a battle to get through, with growing demands and less and less time to deal with them all.
This card could suggest an ongoing scenario of fire-fighting; sorting one issue after another as it rises, dealing with children’s complaints, the endless battle over school homework, fretting over finickity eaters, defusing rows and skirmishes, applying band aids to cuts and ointment to bruises. Then there is the financial scavenging to afford birthday gifts, vacations, outings and treats, not to mention the digital demands of modern children with mobile phones, tablets and lap-top requirements. Somehow you manage to muddle through, but never manage to get fully on top of the ongoing chaos and mayhem that is your life.
As we see the figures either construct or destruct a pentagram, it highlights the concerns you have over whether you are providing the stability and security they need to grow and flourish. You arrive exhausted at the end of every day and wonder if you could have done it better, handled situations more efficiently. You live in an ongoing state of stress, riddled with guilt over not doing this or that. You may look at families with two parents and feel a failure in comparison to them, but having two parents does not guarantee happy children or successful child-rearing. You are doing your very best under difficult circumstances. In the Upright Five, it is all very challenging and you wish you could do more. However, you are managing. A time will come when life will settle down. Children as they grow will get less demanding. There is no permanent damage being done other than premature greying hair and those tell-tale lines on your face.
On a cautionary note, The Five of Wands might suggest you are trying too hard, doing too much, expecting too much. It is impossible for you to cover all areas and are spreading yourself too thin. You may be feel under pressure to be Superman or Wonder Woman as so many portray themselves to be on blogs and social media. You cannot hope to be all things to everyone all the time. Something has to give. You might feel you are getting nowhere, the struggle endless. Will you ever successfully construct your pentagram and feel everything is in place and in order? You must make time for yourself in the middle of bedlam. If you go down due to stress, who will sail the ship? Because you cannot see the wood for the trees right now, you are likely expending energy in an inefficient manner. There may be practical solutions that could ease your burden, but you continue to run around like a headless chicken. You need to stop for a moment and review your schedule as it may benefit from some tweaking here and there. There may be little peace at home.
Following on from the heart-warming energy of The Four of Wands, with engagements, weddings and announcement of pregnancy and birth, we now move on to the next stage. Reality hits hard for couples who have brought their precious little bundles home expecting to settle into domestic bliss as doting parents. All the celebrating and congratulations of the Four seem like distant memories as sleep deprived parents pace the floor boards each night. Their precious bundle of joy has turned into a cantankerous, impossible to please, mini-monster. The Five of Wands can appear for new parents who are having a rough time of it with a young baby or child. Their nicely organised life has had a shocking makeover. If first-time parents, the couple will have gone to considerable effort with preparations for their baby’s arrival. Baby paraphernalia and furniture showcase the perfect nursery setting, with soft lighting, baby monitors, cuddly toys, and machines that play soothing music. What more could a baby want? The answer is everything and nothing, but what they really want is you, all of you, every bit of you!
It is likely you have a baby that just won’t sleep. It demands your presence 24/7. You can’t get anything done, the house is a mess, and you too. You are exhausted and at your wits end. The only thing you seem to get any use out of is the baby monitor that rips you from your dreams 4, 6, 10 times a night with its heart-stopping shrill noise. And then there is the endless puking and nappy changing at all hours of the morning. You and your partner are bewildered and probably strained with each other. You believe the baby should be taken up each time it cries as you cannot bear to hear it so upset, but your partner may believe the baby should be left cry for longer in the hope it will drift back to sleep. You think it cruel while your partner thinks it sensible as it might be the only way for everyone to get some sleep.
In the Five of Wands we see parents trying to cope with such challenging changes. We also see issues between parents about the approach to dealing with the difficult baby. You might be accused of spoiling the baby and giving it bad habits. You might want to take it into the bed. Your partner may insist it stays in its cot. There may be petty disagreements made worse by exhaustion and sleep deprivation. Certainly, it is a tough time for new parents, but the good news is it will eventually pass and hopefully life will settle for everyone. No couple is ever truly prepared for the changes a baby can enforce in their relationship and life. You must go through it to fully appreciate it. Up until now, a couple has been able to make choices about their life. Do stuff or not, take an interest or look the other way, sit and talk or watch a movie, go out or stay in, go to bed early or stay up, have a late night and sleep on the next morning. All that goes out the window when a baby arrives. The baby can’t be sent back, so you must get on with it. You never realised it would be so difficult. Somehow or other you must struggle through like everyone else does.
The Five of Wands can also suggest older toddlers, children, or teenagers that are proving hard to manage (check for Reversed Pages). With the Five of Wands we find a lot of pent up energy, restlessness and constant movement. This could be suggesting boisterous children – especially boys, children who are constantly getting into scrapes or taking dangerous risks. You could be worn out racing back and forth to the Accident and Emergency Department, breaking up fights in the playground or being summoned to the school for your child’s unruly behaviour. On the other hand, we might be looking at a child with a possible hyperactive disorder such as ADD or ADHD. Hard to manage children can put immense strain on the strongest relationship. You may clash at the most stressful times and disagree about the correct management. Your child could cause issues with neighbours if he or she is acting out in the neighbourhood. Teamwork is vital but everyone may be at odds with each other in the family.
The Five of Wands could suggest you are battling to get a proper diagnosis for your child. You know something is not right, that deep down they cannot help what they are doing, that they are unhappy. However, getting someone to take your concerns seriously may not be that simple. You may have to fight for your child in several ways which will involve determination and ferocity. You will need to knock on many doors, make numerous phone calls and send endless emails demanding your child gets the help they need. You might go public with your campaign, posting on social media or speaking out on radio or TV. You cannot and will not give up.
Poor Child Supervision
Insufficient parenting skills may be causing issues in the Five of Wands but surrounding cards would need to support this theory. Reversed Pages, Reversed Courts and Reversed Emperor/Empress could suggest children not being properly looked after. In this instance, the Five of Wands portrays a group of children who are on the brink of causing trouble or getting into trouble because there is no responsible adult supervising them. Here we find children free to come and go without anyone checking up on where they are going, who they are with and what they are doing. There are no rules or boundaries set so children do as they please. Parents may be under stress with work and cannot govern at home, or it might be a case of total disinterest or lack of ability. There may also be an attitude of liberal parenting where children are allowed to experience life on their own terms and learn by their mistakes. If parents live separately, children may not have consistent parenting. One parent may be quite in charge while the other parent is lax and allows them away with anything. Kids can also play one parent against the other, claiming they are allowed stay up or out to late hours, when in truth they are not. If children are wandering around unsupervised, it won’t take long before they fall in with a bad crowd. In the Five of Wands they can be bothersome enough with causing disturbance, cheeky attitudes and school apathy, but should they team up with the Five of Swords it could all end disastrously.
A Large Family
On a lighter note, The Five of Wands in a relationship reading could suggest your desire to have a large family. If you were an only child, you might have experienced loneliness growing up, and do not wish that for your own child. Alternatively, you might come from a large family yourself and appreciate the blessing of supportive siblings. You may plan to have several children and therefore actively seek a lively and boisterous family life. The more the merrier as far as you are concerned. It should be presumed however, that your partner is aware of this and is in full agreement.
The Five of Wands could suggest having several children in close succession. Check for The Four of Wands, Pages, or the Empress in surrounding cards. You may want to fill the house with nappies all in one go. Your children are like the steps of stairs with little age difference between them. Many couples take this route. They get all the tough early years of rearing out the way. In this manner, children have instant built-in friends. There is less to be bored about.
Children Finding Their Way In The Big World
For parents, The Five of Wands could mark the time when children take their first step into the real world such as starting school. This time of major transition can come with welcome relief or awful dread. This particular change can cause an emotional storm and incredible stress as parents lose full control of their offspring. They worry about the dangers out there, their little ones getting hurt or upset, and not being on hand to offer comfort and reassurance. Often it is the parents who struggle most with this change. Their distress and unease can be picked up by sensitive children who in turn become needy and clinging, confirming their parents’ fears. Everyone ends up in tears. Then there are the parents who drop their kids off cheerfully and beat a hasty retreat. They throw them in at the deep end and let them get on with it. Every child is different, some more independent than others. The initial few weeks of the new regime will be the most trying. The big change eventually becomes the new norm and everyone settles.
In this new order, children must find their own way without constant parental supervision. This transition or change can suggest children going into a Crèche environment, starting Montessori or Junior School. Young children do not have a great reputation for sharing, and everything is, ‘mine’. This card shows kids having to fight their way through with others who feel and act the same. This is a difficult time for parents who can feel upset by such behaviour. It is a learning stage for children, and unless bullying is going on, it is wise to let them get on with it. On the outside, it might look unruly, but this is how kids will eventually learn assertiveness and how to make friends.
If you are an anxious parent, you may be over-protective and worry incessantly. You can’t wrap them in cotton wool or lock them up until adult hood. Neither can you fight their battles for them. The Five of Wands could be suggesting you allow your child or children go wild on occasion. A few bumps and bruises won’t hurt them. If your kids spend too much time sitting in front of the television, on their phone, or playing video games, it is time to act and insist they get some physical exercise. It might be reassuring for you to know exactly where they are, but they do need to spread their wings a bit and become more active. Encourage them to play sport, or just run about in the open air with friends. Perhaps book them into summer camp if boredom is an issue. Independence is something that should be awarded on merit. Children need to be afforded independence in small increments at first, to show they are ready for it and can be trusted. Some children are born with sensible heads firmly placed on their shoulders, while others are scatty and unreliable. The level of independence allowed by parents will be dictated by this. Some will need constant overseeing, while others can be trusted to the end of the earth and back again.
Falling In With The Wrong Crowd
The Five of Wands could suggest the potential for your child or children to fall in with troublesome groups or gangs. They might not be dangerous or delinquent, but they could be troublemakers. It might be one kid in particular, or a gang of them. Your child may go along with them to be accepted. These could be children from school or the local area. It would be wise to keep an eye on your child’s comings and goings as this group are quite rebellious and defiant. Keep on top of cheeky talk, and cocky attitudes in your child, and act before it gets out of control. Schoolwork may suddenly become uncool. It’s a slippery slope after that.
Now the Upright Five of Wands, although irritating and annoying, generally looks worse than it is. However, it walks a fine line between harmless skirmishes or unruliness, and bully, heavy-handed behaviour. If Reversed Pages appear in your reading, you may be looking at a child displaying bully type behaviour, or is the focus of bullying. The bullying involved may be viewed by others as just ‘kids being kids’, but it could have the potential to develop in to something more serious. We see more evidence of this when The Five of Wands Reverses, but it can happen in the Upright too. Keep an eye on things and intervene if you think behaviour is getting out of hand.
In The Three and Four of Wands Reversed, we explored the issues and challenges experienced in a relationship when step-children become involved. In the Upright Aspect, we looked at a happy situation where any children were accepted, welcomed and embraced. There may have been a period of adjustment, but in general, life settled down into a new norm. Some step-children lived with the couple, while others lived with the other parent and were only seen for visits. However, in the Reversed aspect we examined the many ways in which step-children can disrupt, or test the strength of your relationship. Taking on someone else’s children can be a daunting task, especially if they resent your presence and disturb the closeness between you and your partner. The Five of Wands brings us one step further, past the stage where most people involved have tried to be reasonable and obliging. In the Five, we find a showdown with step-children and step-parents who have been trying their best to make it work. Lines are crossed and blatant bad behaviour is no longer tolerated. We could be looking at a hell of a row between children and adults. All niceties have vanished, with open warfare declared. Now this will be very upsetting, and partners could turn on each other if tempers are completely lost.
This meltdown has been brewing for some time, and in a way, it had to happen. The Five of Wands may be the catalyst for positive change. Before a situation can calm down, it may have to heat up. It looks like everyone is talking or screaming at the same time, hurling accusations and insults. Children turn on adults and each other. Adults turn on children and each other too. Blame is flung from one corner to the next with no one prepared to backdown. Eventually this fire will burn out. Those involved will likely scatter to their rooms, slamming doors behind them. Step-children could demand to move out or be taken home. At least the air has cleared with everyone openly declaring their hostility or dislike for each other. There may be no reason at all for such animosity, but at least it is out on the table. Open and honest communication can be birthed after such a row, with all sides feeling they may have gone a bit far. If this situation is handled properly it could herald a breakthrough if the issues and grievances aired are addressed. The whole thing could come down to misunderstanding, miscommunication, fear and unexpressed sadness or anger.
If there are two sets of step-children involved, The Five of Wands could suggest they do not get on, or their personalities clash. They could go out of their way to be nasty to each other, as they fight for supremacy. Older children, teenagers, and young adults can be just as badly behaved as the younger ones. Step-children could blame their Step-parent for breaking up their family, even if partners had already been separated or divorced before they met.
A relationship can become strained if step-children pick at it constantly. A couple must stay strong and show a united front. If there is a chink in anyone’s armour they will spot it immediately and go for it. In the Five of Wands, step-children can ruin a perfectly good time, outing or vacation with stubbornness, cheek, and sulky faces. Nothing you do can please them. If you are getting married, they may seek to disrupt or dismantle your plans, and be awkward about everything. As this is a Minor Arcana card, it suggests a transitory period of change and adjustment. Keep fighting your way through it. Comfort yourself in the knowledge that you are not alone in your present circumstances. Others have gone through and survived this baptism of fire.
Driving Force Behind Difficult Step-Children
If Reversed Court Cards, Reversed Emperor/Empress appear, issues you are having with step-children may be coming indirectly from their other parent, your partner’s ex or members of their family. They may be systematically knocking you and any efforts you make to get on with their children. They don’t want a relationship to develop between you and your step-children. This could cause a hot and cold relationship with your partner’s kids. Just when you think you are getting somewhere, when they enjoyed their last stay with you, when they are beginning to open up to you, it all turns sour in a subsequent visit. In fact, they arrive glaring and determined to be horrid after having such a nice time last visit. A manipulative ex could be undoing all your good work, filling them with spite and venom towards you, determined you will not succeed in forming a friendship with them. You will need to tread carefully and unpick this scheme bit by bit. The children, regardless of age are being used as weapons and this in itself cannot be tolerated.
Babies & Children Ruining Your Sex Life
Well, this is a very obvious interpretation and the title speaks for itself. Following on from the theme of the cosy domestic, family oriented and child bearing energy of the Four of Wands, we see the magic bubble burst. After all the rigorous love-making and passion, we find a somewhat haphazard approach to sex, as tiny babies and stroppy children throw a spanner in the love-works of your life. For such minute sizes, they certainly command full control of their environment and all in it. What power? Yes, it is all lovely cooing at babies and washing their little clothes, but haven’t they turned your perfect life upside down. Instead of having sex or talking about sex, you now talk about feeds, nappy changes, and how many hours in a row they slept, if any. Sex gets seriously put on the back burner as you navigate around the needs or a mini tyrant or dictator, who couldn’t care less about how much sleep you have or when you last washed or ate. Also, post child birth, it may not be that comfortable either, if there were stitches involved. It might be quite painful and something you want to avoid for the moment. There is too much going on right now for you to think about sex and other than tending to the baby or your growing brood, sleep is the next most important thing. So, there you have it. Forget about sex for the moment. Don’t beat yourself up about it or think there is something wrong with your relationship. It is all pretty normal and one day you will get around to having sex again. It may never get back to those carefree and spontaneous days, but you will manage. Change, change, change.
Messy Sex Life
It’s not difficult to see why a messy sex life might be suggested by the Five of Wands. It appears you may be the orchestrator of your own troubles if you have been indulging your sexual desires without due care or thought. Perhaps you had sex with someone you knew would cause trouble in the long run. You may have implied there was more than sex on offer, but in truth had no intention of pursuing this person any further than the one occasion. They may now believe there is a relationship or good chance of one. You could be fending off texts and phone calls, or avoiding your usual haunts. You will have to face the music at some stage. Perhaps you went against your better judgment at a work do or neighbours’ party, and did something with someone you now regret. Others may be privy to what happened so it might not be easy to dismiss. You may have made a drunken pass at your boss and now have been summoned to his/her office. You could be dating and sleeping with a number of partners simultaneously, each one thinking they have you exclusively. You have been spotted somewhere with someone, by a certain other someone, who will be quick to spread the word. You will be in trouble with many when the news breaks. You discover the older man/woman you slept with some time ago is actually the father/mother of your new partner when you meet up with them, resulting in embarrassment all round! Someone has hacked your Tinder account and now know all your dirty little secrets. A sex video you made with your ex has found its way to social media and gone viral.
Heavy On Protection
Even though The Five of Wands is quite a chaotic and disorderly card, its presence in a sex reading may suggest a lot of sex, a very active sex life, with possible multiple partners, but you take contraception and safe sex very seriously. The clashing wands in the air could be symbolising protection and defence. You are an active player in the game, but wear the necessary safety gear. If you are lax about contraception, depending on the position this card falls in, it could act as a warning to take heed before you live to regret it. The Five of Wands could also suggest the need to get regular STI screenings if you have an active sex life.
Ongoing Rows Ruin Intimacy
The Five of Wands can warn of potential damage to the intimate relationship you have with your partner if ongoing rows and grievances are allowed to continue indefinitely. When resentment or anger builds towards your partner or vice versa, physical contact and tenderness diminishes as individuals pull back or recoil from proximity or the threat of touching off the other. Physical distance from the source of upset is sought, not closeness. The break down in emotional communication can be dangerous territory for couples to enter. Restoring intimacy after ongoing hostilities can be challenging, and sometimes impossible. Even if a couple get back to some semblance of normalcy, scars can remain. It is wise to tackle and disarm issues between each other while you still have a chance. The longer it goes on the harder it becomes. Egos can get in the way of calling a truce and seeking resolution. No one wants to accept responsibility.
If you have been the cause of upset and disturbance in your relationship, it should come as no surprise if your partner is emotionally cool or distant with you. Tension and anger will result in partners avoiding each other whenever possible. The home can feel very small when you refuse to eat at the same table, leave a room as soon as the other enters, sleep with your backs to each other at the further most edge of the bed or in separate rooms, and sidestep as you pass in the hallway. Bringing regular trouble home will not warm your partner to you. You cannot expect a loving welcome. The last thing they will want is your touch or sexual advances even if you feel you are entitled to it. Ways need to be mended, behaviour altered, apologies made and good intentions set if you want to find a way back to the closeness you once experienced together.
Sexual Revolution /Sexually Wild/Liberated/Groupie
When it comes to readings about your sex life or sex in general, the Five of Wands can suggest you have strong feelings about your freedom in this area. You have very liberal viewpoints and champion any cause that supports the right for sexual expression without judgement. You might be considered a bit sexually wild or revolutionary, determined to do as you please. You think nothing of having sex on the first date, with a stranger after a chance encounter, or being open and direct about your sexual needs, if you want it you ask for it. You do not hide behind false modesty or behave in a manner that is conventionally acknowledged as acceptable. You have no time for the morality police who chastise and denigrate your behaviour and attitude. You are able to separate love from sex and do not see the attraction of monogamy or fidelity. Sex is just sex at the end of the day. It’s not as if you want to marry any of your partners or commit to them. Some may try to pin you down, to make you theirs, but you keep them all at bay and are gone before they know it, not staying around for coffee or breakfast the next morning. You are interested in great or amazing sex. You are drawn to the ideals of the flower-power era of free love and plenty of it. Nudity appeals to you and you have no hang-ups about your body, or issues with getting naked in front of others. You might get a thrill from being so wicked and daring. You are not afraid to talk about your sex life in public and have no qualms about questioning others about theirs. You live by your own rules and beliefs which often brings you into confrontation with others who perceive you as a threat.
The Five of Wands suggests a free-spirit and archetypal groupie behaviour where everything and anything goes (check for the Empress and Fool, Lovers and Seven of Cups). Its interpretation brings the song ‘Ruby Tuesday’ by the Rolling Stones to mind. However, it is Melanie’s version from 1970 that appeals to me.
The Question of Paternity
Be you a groupie, or involved with multiple sexual partners, The Five of Wands can act as a warning about the consequences of getting pregnant under such circumstances. In the imagery, when we look at it from a sex point of view, we can see quite graphically the representation of multiple phallic symbols. The figures all wear different attire. This is not a lot of sex with one person but rather sex with several. If you are not being vigilant with contraception, and having sex with different partners in a close time span, a pregnancy could occur leaving you confused as to who the father might be.
Multiple Advances/Fighting Them Off
The Five of Wands can suggest you exude powerful sexual energy that others are strongly attracted to. You may have to fight them off. You may not be aware of this, some are just born that way, but it is likely you know what you are about and are very conscious of your magnetism in this area. You possibly play up on this and enjoy being the centre of attention. However, it may not make you very popular with those who see you as a threat or unwanted attraction when their partner is around. Like bees to honey the interested parties swarm around you, each vying for your sole attention. You are popularity personified and there is no shortage of dates to be had. Potential suitors may make extravagant gestures to increase their chances with you. You might have expensive bottles of wine or champagne sent your way, or dinner paid by the stranger at a far table. You could have flowers and gifts delivered to your workplace with offers to whisk you away to some luxury destination or other.
This is not the sole domain of females. Males are subjected to similar tactics when they have been particularly blessed with powerful animal attraction. While all this is going on, you could be in danger of ignoring other aspects of your personality which are every bit as important when it comes to making a long-term impression. Sexual attraction will only get you so far on its own. It is wise to develop your personality in a rounded manner. Don’t settle for being the person everyone wants to date or bed. You are more than that, and will need to be more than that, if you desire a committed relationship at some stage. It’s never a good idea to trade on your looks alone. Make them part of an overall incredible package instead. Looks, brains, intellect, charm, warmth, grace, friendliness and compassion will justify you standing out from the crowd for all the right reasons.
Looking at this from another aspect, you might find your power to attract, wearing and tedious. It might be more of a curse than a blessing. You never seem to be left alone when you go anywhere as there are constant attempts to hit on you. This can be intimidating and unnerving when advances made are particularly strong or forceful. You just want to have dinner with your friends, or pop in to grab a coffee, but your presence always causes some disturbance to those around you. Some glare, while others stare. As the saying goes, you are presumed ‘hot to trot’ by many, just because you look so damn sexy. People are quick to judge and think you deliberately bring it on. Perhaps you would like to meet someone nice, someone who is really interested in you and not your external packaging, but how are you to determine how sincere they are? If you do accept a date, is it because the person wants a trophy partner to show off, or is it they find your mind compelling and conversation fascinating? You have tried dressing down, concealing your best features but you can’t hide your potential. Your friends get annoyed at times, especially if they feel your presence is ruining their own chance of meeting someone. You feel damned if you do and damned if you don’t. You can’t win.
Entitled To Sex
In the Five of Wands there may be an attitude of entitlement to sex if you are in a relationship or married. It is not something you think about or care to ask about. You may assume you can get it on tap as you please. There is a hearty appetite for sex, but when an issue arises between you and your partner that prevents your needs being satisfied, you can get grumpy and bad tempered. You might need sex to feel balanced in yourself, or to reassure you your partner needs and still desires you. Being deprived sex for any reason does not sit well with you and can cause a tense atmosphere in the home.
Following on from the above, we might take advances a step further. This is not a case of being hit on, chased or pursued by admirers, but rather being sexually harassed by those who see you as fair game for such unwanted attention. Lewd comments may be made to your face, laced with sexual innuendo directed at you personally. Your appearance is commented on in a demeaning manner. You might be subjected to uninvited physical contact from someone who invades your personal space on a certain agenda. Jokes might be thrown out about certain parts of your body leaving you feeling humiliated or degraded. You could be viewed as a sexual commodity rather than a person. People take liberties with you or feel okay about touching or grabbing you. You feel anxious or nervous when left alone with certain persons or have to travel in an elevator where eyes look you up and down as if undressing you.
In the Upright Five of Wands this could be the way things are for you. No one has threatened your safety or physically attacked you, but you feel violated nonetheless. If the Five of Swords appears with the Reversed Five of Wands and Reversed Courts, Reversed Emperor/Empress/Magician/Devil etc, we might find a more threatening environment where things could get out of hand. Those who take part in such behaviour in the Five of Wands probably draw the line at doing anything extremely illegal. Many may see their behaviour as just a bit of fun with no real harm meant. God forbid, but they might even think they are paying you a compliment. From where they stand it’s all in great jest and good sport. It needs to be pointed out to them how demeaning their actions and speech are. They need to understand they are in danger of crossing a line that will not be tolerated. This attitude can often be the result of upbringing and learned behaviour. Someone needs to stand up to them and lay down the law.
Bragging About Sex/Bawdy Talk
In this interpretation, we find the figures in The Five of Wands bragging about their sex life or sexual conquests. Their talk is bawdy and explicit. They pass sexist remarks and compete with each other when notching up scores on bed posts. Every person who passes is commented on and seen as legitimate prey. They are not interested in forming one on one relationships with anyone, not that anyone decent would ever have them. It is often those who have the least to offer that brag the most. It is about sex, and nothing but sex. They see themselves as god’s gift to women/men and are full of their sexual prowess and ability. Although they have enormous sexual egos, they are shallow and vacuous beings, with little or nothing to offer anyone in the long-term. They will take sex where and when they get it, in the parking lot, at the back of the bar, in the toilets. Although they brag about their conquests and are quick to criticise the looks of passers-by, the personalities suggested by this interpretation are not too fussy or choosy about who they have sex with (check for Reversed Courts). As long as they are getting it is all that matters.
Many times, such over-inflated egos will exaggerate about the frequency, quality and quantity of their sexual conquests. What they claim to have achieved is often very far from the truth. They can turn out to be sad pathetic figures. This interpretation can also apply to The Reversed Five of Wands, but it may be weaker or stronger in strength.
Sex Texts/Talking Dirty
The Five of Wands in a relationship or sex reading, could suggest a fondness for sexting (sex texting) with your partner, or perhaps you like to engage in talking dirty to each other on the phone. Although many people would deny this, it is very common in relationships, especially at the outset when sex is prevalent. It can be used as a form or foreplay before partners meet up, or is especially effective when separated due to work or travel. Partners may even call each other at work to pass a quick seductive sexy remark.
Internal Sexual Conflict/Unwanted Sexual Urges
The Five of Wands could imply feeling sexually conflicted. You may have considered yourself to be confident of your sexuality but now are beginning to question it. You feel there is something wrong, that you are not feeling what you should be feeling. You do not feel any attraction, or not enough of an attraction for those you are supposed to be attracted to. These could be feelings you have towards your partner or in general. You have noticed the stirring of sexual urges that do not sit comfortably with you. You may have believed you were straight, but have failed to form a meaningful relationship with anyone of the opposite sex. You have dated alright, had relationships, gone through the motions, but felt little or nothing. You might find you are attracted or aroused by your own gender which is freaking you out. Perhaps it is the other way around. You have always considered yourself gay, but now are feeling attracted to the opposite sex. Your head is all over the place and this conflict is dominating your life. You are panicked about such urges and are doing your best to fight them off, but how long will you be able to keep it up? Maybe you will have to accept that you are not who you thought you were. Perhaps you were, but have now changed. Maybe you are neither one nor the other, but bi-sexual. You might also be asexual. Your sexuality inclinations may fluctuate as you mature. This has become a big deal for you and it might be wise to seek counselling from those who can help you determine your sexual identity and help you come to terms with it.
In the previous Reversed Wands we looked at the potential for suppressing your true sexual identity by forcing a heterosexual one. You perhaps found a partner, married, had children and maintained a front. In the Five of Wands we see you terribly conflicted as you battle hard to keep up the pretence. The real you wants to emerge, but you battle it down consistently. You have created a life that is based on a certain sexual identity. No one would understand if you were to declare otherwise now. You could risk losing everything you have worked hard for. However, you have been living a lie and feel you don’t belong. Your sexual attraction lies elsewhere but know you must not give into it. You see it as your enemy, not your friend. The Five of Wands finds it coming to head as internal pressure becomes too much to restrain. Again, you may need to seek professional help to support you through this crisis. You may be surprised to find others have guessed or are happy to accept whoever you are. You might be catastrophising a fallout out that will never happen. The real you must find a way out.
The above internal sexual conflict can apply to any sexual orientation.
The Five of Wands’ imagery could suggest battling bigotry. You may be attending rallies or protests, standing up for gay rights or campaigning for same sex marriage. Here we see you come up against the opposition, those who would seek to deny you a voice or your basic human rights. Angry scenes and scuffles could breakout between left and right-wing groups who feel strongly about the issues at stake. The power of the people is important here as numbers swell and voices raise demanding change, tolerance and acceptance for all. For certain issues, the fight must continue, campaigners and lobbyists must battle on, not for their own sake, but for the lives of millions of others who may not have the ability or freedom to make their own voice heard.
Athletic /Energetic Rough Sex
The Five of Wands can imply a high sex drive and stamina for marathon sex sessions. The figures in the imagery of the card look extremely fit and energetic. Applying this to sex, it might suggest being sexually athletic. You certainly don’t lie there and think of England. Instead, you are very intense and your partner might find it exhausting to keep up with you. Therefore, you will need a partner who matches your appetite and fitness level. Yes, you do enjoy quickies but you manage to choose the most challenging of places which involves serious muscle work. In this interpretation, we find a bracing approach to sex which is far from tame or conventional. There is no place for shyness or modesty in the Five of Wands. Sex can take place in any location, the riskier the better; outdoors, up a mountain, on the beach. Any place where you might be discovered.
As a couple, you take sex when you want it, when the urge hits. The Five of Wands Upright could suggest you like a bit of rough play in sex. You like to be flung around, across the table, up against the wall. There is an urgency about the way you have sex. Clothes may be ripped off when things heat up. Having sex is similar to a work-out in the gym. Your body aches afterwards, with tired sore muscles and even the odd bruise or two. However, you like it this way. You are not a fan of passive or conservative sex and can’t think of anything more boring. Once your partner is on the same wavelength as you, your sex life can be dynamic and could provide the glue for a strong enduring relationship. Having a healthy interest in sex can make you happier and feel younger. You will be old soon enough and can rest then.
The problem arises when only one of you feels this way. You might want a marathon sex session each time, but your partner just wants to get it over and done with, is too tired, doesn’t have the time or interest. Sometimes sex at the beginning of a relationship is wild and abandoned with partners having the ability to go for hours or several times in the one night. Some madness and false energy can take over allowing us to believe we will be able to maintain the same level of activity. Over time, sexual burnout can occur and partners fall back into what is considered a normal level of sexual activity. However, there are those who are tireless in this area. They may have an overly-high sex drive in comparison to the norm.
The Five of Wands in your sex life could imply the ability to achieve multiple orgasms.
Experimenting With New Positions
Following on from the sexual gymnastics above, The Five of Wands appearing in a reading about your sex life could imply the need to be more experimental. Perhaps you have fallen into a same old, same old approach which has become predictable and unexciting. It happens to most of us, and as long as we are having sex, we try not to worry about it too much. However, The Five of Wands gives us a kick up the back side and reminds us there is much room for improvement. When did we get so old and staid in our outlook? Time to go back to the drawing board and come up with something more interesting. You may need to address your technique, the habitual times you have sex, the build-up or aftermath. You may need to make more of an occasion out of it, get dressed up, go to some effort to spice it up. If you haven’t ventured outside the bedroom in years, it might be time to try some new locations. This doesn’t mean leaving the house or doing anything crazy in pursuit of a more enriching sexual experience, but rather jazzing it up with innovative planning. Experiment with different positions or try a new approach. Instead of asking if your partner wants sex, why not try a little seduction instead. They may not think they are in the mood, but that could change if you get this part right. There’s nothing like a bit of romance and flirtation to sexually charge the atmosphere. So, what are you waiting for? Time to let your hair down and be a part of the sexual revolution. All you need is love!
The sham fighting aspect of the Five of Wands could imply pretence, and when we link this to sex, it might refer to sex games and role play. You might decide to adopt roles or characters and go along with a phony script, the type that is often depicted in porn movies. You might be dressing up in a French Maid’s outfit, pretending to be a naughty student, don horse-riding attire, be a fearsome gladiator, Mr. Darcy or Heathcliff. It’s all a bit of fun and titillation and can add a bit of va-va-voom in the bedroom. The Five of Wands is also fond of using sex toys.
The Five of Wands can imply the breaking of sexual taboos. Perhaps you have decided to indulge some of your sexual fantasies. If your sex life has gone stale, you could casually bring up the subject with your partner, or in an honest, safe and open discussion ask if there is anything they would like to try out but have been too embarrassed to ask. Agree not to judge each other or react in a shocking manner when fantasies are revealed and shared. Instead be curious and open to looking further.
Porn/Multiple Partners/Group Sex
We have already looked at the potential for multiple partners and sleeping around in the Five of Wands. There is a need for variety and quick turnover of partners, not getting too close to anyone in particular. Playing the field and treading into private territory at times is all part of the game. Depending on which aspect of Five we are dealing with, it either tries desperately hard to conform, or break away from it. The Hierophant wants to set moral rules and regulations but Five when Upright will seek to break them, do its own thing, go its own way. It may declare war on convention and conservatism, flying in the face of what is deemed normal or acceptable in society. In this aspect of Five, we can see how it might influence the approach to sex. If Five wants to go way out there, it will seek to break as many taboos as it can, sometimes just to cause a stir or see what the reaction might be from all the naysayers and do- gooders.
In the Five of Wands we might be looking at an interest or attraction for group sex, sex parties, partner swapping (Reversed Lovers/Two of Cups), sex with strangers, organised sex such as taking part in a porn movie. If you are exploring your sexual side with tarot, this card could be unearthing some deep-set desires or fantasies. Live sex on webcams would feature in the Five of Wands when seeking insight on sexual desires. If you are a regular porn viewer, you might be particularly drawn to threesomes or group sex. Surrounding cards would give clues as to the nature and gender involved. In the Five of Wands we are dealing with sexual behaviour that is not violent or deliberately abusive. Each to their own is how the Wands would look at it. Fire likes to try out everything and sex can be a hot favourite. It is only when such activity is driven underground with violent, criminal links as found in the Devil, Five of Swords, Eight of Swords, and Reversed Courts, that we must question the morals and conscience behind it. Once consenting adults are harming no one, then how can we judge what is right or wrong, acceptable or despicable? However, if you have veered way off the path that is considered the norm, be sure you can find a way back if the new one is not to your liking. What often starts out as harmless fun can become sick or twisted over time. The Reversed Five of Wands will explore this but its presence alone is not enough to give concern. Surrounding cards will offer information that will determine if your sexual activity is getting out of control. The question you ask and intention at time of shuffling and drawing will play a part in how you would read such interpretation.
It is important to remember the nature of Five. Seeking change, variety, novelty and freedom is one thing and can be admired or encouraged, but it can escalate into a constant craving for such diversion and distraction. You may not be happy with anything less. Sex can become addictive. Indulging in fetish fantasies or porn can lead to perversion and self-loathing. Having sex with strangers or in a group may seem exciting and liberating, but it will erode the sense of self-worth after a while. Normal sexual activity is no longer part of the equation and is not desired or can be achieved. One can step too far over the line and bitterly regret it.
The Five of Wands, both Upright and Reversed can suggest swingers, or swinging parties in a sex reading.
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