Personal Stories

Trying Times – No Gain Without Pain

Hi to all my Tarot Friends around the World,

The Fool (0) UprightPage of Pentacles Upright3 of Pentacles Upright 5 of Pentacles Upright

So sorry I have been missing for the last while. A combination of a bad flu dose on top of a heavy exam schedule in college. It will all be over by June so I am just keeping my head down and trying to wade through all the work as best as I can. The annoying thing is that I signed up for this Digital Technology Course to learn the skills that would help me develop my new Truly Teach Me Tarot website which has been sitting waiting for me to finish configuring on Part of the training involves developing a website and digital marketing campaign for a small to medium enterprise business. Before I signed up for the course I attended an open information day and made inquiries as to whether I could use my own project instead of being assigned one by the college. I explained to them that I could not neglect my own site in order to build one for another. They consulted with the Head of College and I was told that although it had never been done before, they could see no reason as to why I could not work on my own project. I was delighted by this news and duly signed up.

5 of Wands Upright8 of Wands UprightKnight of Swords Upright

7 of Wands Upright10 of Wands Upright

Unfortunately things have not worked out as expected. I have had to plough through module after module of non relevant subjects, many of which I have covered in previous courses. On top of that there have been non-stop tedious assignments which have taken up so much of my time. At the information day, some people asked about the workload and whether it would spill over into our weekends. Some people had weekend jobs or family commitments, and were worried about juggling it all. We were reassured that there would be sufficient time in the class day to complete all assignments. Of course it has not worked out like that. The college lectures are delivered mostly online and at a furious pace. We are introduced to new material before we have had a chance to digest previous stuff. It means information overload and not fully understanding what we are doing. Assignment deadlines are issued quite quickly after lectures and there is a terrible panic to complete them on time.

4 of Cups Upright2 of Pentacles RxTemperence Reversed

9 of Cups ReversedThe Chariot Upright

The result of all this is that my weekends have disappeared along with any other spare time during the weekdays.  It is a four-hour round bus trip to the college in Dublin, so I try to catch up on reading notes during this time. The core subjects I am interested in are only just beginning and I have already fallen behind in these as I have to attend to other subject assignments first. I will have to catch up with the rest at the weekend! Oh, and I have been told that I will only be allowed work on certain parts of my own project as I am still expected to build a website for someone else. To say I am frustrated would be putting it mildly. I have struggled to get some posts out on my own site and to attend to correspondence. My email in-boxes are overflowing but I just haven’t the time to sort it all out. My partner has suggested that I throw it all in and drop out of the course, but he knows that I won’t do that as it is not my style. I have come this far and June is just about within sight. There is a multitude of assignments to get through first however. I also have to build a personal portfolio WordPress site which is part of my grading. I asked if my current site would be sufficient as it is live and built by myself. I also have my new site that is close to completion that could be used too. Two full personally built WordPress sites, one on  .com and the other on .org. Sadly, no I can’t. I have to build a third one. That means even more time, time that I should be spending on my Truly Teach Me Tarot Site.

 9 of Swords UprightPage of Cups Reversed8 of Swords Upright

Page of Swords ReversedThe Hanged Man Upright

I have had a few melt downs recently, have dissolved into hysterical crying, wailing that I can’t cope anymore and that it is all too much.  I haven’t been much fun to be around either, and my fingers are twisted and stiff from typing Project Management Plans, Stake Holder Analysis documents, coding web pages and putting together endless Power Point Presentations. I have also discovered that I am useless at Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop. I certainly won’t make it as a graphic designer. It has pretty much been endless pulling of teeth and watching paint dry. I am so much better at creative writing and doing my own thing. I hate the formal and restricted approach to putting business documents together. It is often hard to know what they want and mainly I try to wing it through, throwing in a few industry buzz words here and there, in the hope that I sound like I know what I am talking about. Strangely enough I love medical and legal writing. I suppose they are more interesting.  Odd!

8 of Pentacles Upright3 of Cups UprightThe World Upright

6 of Wands UprightThe Magician (I) Upright

And so I have brought you my rant and feel better now that it is off my chest. I will be back soon, hopefully fired up with new knowledge, and skilled in SEO, Digital Marketing and WordPress Development.  The rest will fade into the past and become history. The pain will ease, my fingers will uncurl and my nightly teeth grinding cease. I might even stop snapping at my partner and boring everyone to death with the ins and outs of angle brackets and syntax errors in html coding. This time too will pass. Normal life will resume and I will notice the colours of summer all around me as I take time to stop and smell the roses. I might even buy myself a new book, something fictional of course.  I will look back fondly on those eight months of student life and declare that it was not too bad after all. Unfortunately I have a lot of work to do before I can put my ‘Happy Fond Reminiscing Hat’ on, so I best sign off now and get back on the treadmill.  See you all soon.

Knight of Pentacles UprightDeath Upright6 of Swords Upright

The Star Upright9 of Pentacles UprightThe Sun Upright


Vivien (your Tarot Teacher)

10 replies »

  1. Speed and ease to you in the doing. Have you found yet another 5 minutes to look at the transits to your astrological chart? I’d suspect a Saturn transit by square or conjunction to your Ascendant with the size of the load you’re bearing. Typically, those transits only last a couple of months, but are very trying while they continue. …breathe…


    • Hi Ellell Bee,

      Thank you. Speed and ease, and don’t spare the horses! I think I must have been stuck in this Saturn Transit you refer to for the last 3 to 4 years by the sounds of it. Stuck like glue! My birthday in on April 29th and college will finish by the end of June. College has been rather full on since I started last year and am finding it hard to balance all the other areas of my life. I haven’t even pulled my regular cards, in the last couple of months, but do you know what? Today I will do a reading for myself to see exactly where I am right now, and also if there is light at the end of the tunnel.

      In the meantime I must keep breathing, keep breathing.




  2. Hi Vivien, I find study to be sheer hell that takes every bit of discipline not to give up – but when you get through it’s magic. I love your tarot blog you seem to put your heart and soul into your readings


    • Hi Caroline,

      Yes, it can be a nightmare and so exhausting. I am like the figure in the Ten of Wands, on the final stretch of the journey but with a heavy load to carry. I just received one of my exam results in writing for the web and content management. I got 100% and I am in shock. I have completed other exams in this module, but this is the first result in.Yes, it has given me a high and the motivation to keep going. Thank you for your support.




  3. Hello Vivien,

    I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciate you and your blog!

    I got myself the enchanted deck by Amy Zerner and the accompanying book by Monte Farber in December of 2013. I’ve yet to learn how to make a spread but I’ve been picking a single card as and when I feel like it and as well as consulting the book, I’ve been looking up the meanings of the corresponding Rider Waite card online; that’s how I discovered your detailed and illustrative writings, which are the only ones that I’ve found to really speak to my understanding.

    I feel like I’m just about ready to move on to the course now, so please keep it up! 🙂

    Thank you.

    All of the best,


    PS – has anyone ever told you that you should write a book?


    • Hi Chris,

      Great to hear from you, and yes I am going to keep it up as you say. Finished college and ready to get back to my writing once more. Want to catch up on all my correspondence first. About the book, maybe some day. I reckon I have written about four book’s worth at this stage and still a shocking lot more to write.



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