Hello to all my Tarot Friends,

Well, let me tell you this whole moving from WordPress.com to WordPress.org has been a nightmare. On the 10th of September, I went for my official training and boy, was there a lot for me to take on board. I couldn’t keep the Theme I have been using so I settled for another one instead.  However, when I came home I spent a day fiddling around with things, trying to get the look I wanted, but instead got my self into a right state and panic because I couldn’t get anything to work for me.  I liked, and was used to working on my WordPress.com site (this one). I wanted it back so I searched and found the theme I had been using and decided to upload it to my site. I didn’t really understand much of the techie wording involved in doing this but blundered my way through regardless. I took a gamble that blew up in my face.

Bad mistake, very bad. I suddenly got a white screen with a Fatal Error Message and quickly entered break-down mode. ‘oh my god, what have I done?’ Screams and panics brought my partner Billy rushing to my side. I couldn’t explain to him what had happened because I was so upset. I tried to get back into the admin side of my site but all I got was the Fatal Error Message. Billy was in distress now because he thought I had lost absolutely everything, all my years of work, and not just that I had messed up the new site.

I could feel my neck and jaw acting up, and then felt drained and tired. I wanted to lie down and cry. I rang the Hosting Company but support was closed for the evening. I sent an email to my WordPress.org trainer.  I would have to wait.  I typed the address of the site into the address bar and there it was. I could view it from the outside but I could not get in the back door to do any work. It looked a right mess, and still does, but I am powerless to fix it until my Hosting Company can get me back in.

I still have my WordPress.com site in working order thankfully so will continue working on it until I can get sorted out the other side.

The other thing that has happened is that some visitors have been on the other site and have posted comments and contributions to the Daily Card Reading Practice. Thankfully, these comments are being forwarded to my blackberry email so at least I can reply to them. The Daily Card Reading contribution I will actually post so here so we can all have a look.

I continue to sit here waiting for my Hosting Company to let me back in, but while I wait let me tell you of the Two Cards I pulled that Day. This was the day after my training, when I started to mess around with the settings and things.

The Six of Pentacles and The Four of Pentacles

Well, I wasn’t exactly sure what they had in store for me when I drew them early that morning but as the day wore on and the mess got messier, their messages began to filter through.  Certainly by the time Billy was removing me from the computer screen that evening, and placing a glass of wine in my hand instead of the mouse, the Cards’ messages were coming across loud and clear.

In The Six of Pentacles there I was handing out my hard saved money for my training. Here is €€€€€ for you, and in return you are going to show me how to completely build a website and manage it.  Simple, a fair exchange, and an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. Both of us were happy with the arrangement and even though my Trainer could only pass over to me a certain amount of the knowledge that I needed (the imagery of the few coins falling into the palm of the needy person) due to time restraints and the danger of information overload, we achieved a lot that day. I went off happy and looking forward to my next day’s training in a couple of weeks’ time.

However, there I am sitting all hunched up holding onto my Pentacles, and rigidly closed to change in The Four of Pentacles.  Sobbing over my glass of wine, I thought of the possibility that I had wasted my money, because I may have undone all the work my Trainer had set up on my site, Google Analytics, Google Translator, Facebook, Twitter etc and a heap of other things. Had I lost everything? Would I have to go back and pay her again to do what she had already done. The financial outlay was weighing heavily on my mind. What had I done?

Regret at changing over in the first place also began to set in. I wanted things back the way they were. I wanted my old site back or to be able to bring it over completely intact to the WordPress.org one. I wanted to hold onto things as they were. I suddenly felt insecure and wanted familiar territory. I don’t want to let go and be open to the change and uncharted territory of building a website from scratch. I want guarantees that it will all be fine. I want to see the finished product before I begin.  The Four of Pentacles was singing this loud and clear to me. It is one of the Cards for Taurus along with The King of Pentacles and The Hierophant. I am a Taurean too, and whereas I am always preaching in my writing about learning to let go, and to allow yourself to be open to change, it is very often a case of do as I say and not as I do. I get quite unsettled about change and like to feel stable and secure. I like to know what I am doing and work in a very thorough and methodical way. I also can get quite intense and fixated about my work and worry too much about the details of everything.

My partner Billy was telling me that all would be fine, and that it would just take a bit of time.  I just want to get back to my normal routine and back to my writing instead of wandering around clueless as to what I am supposed to be doing. I want things to settle down so that everything feels familiar again. I am sure it all will, but for the moment, forgive me if I act a little bit obsessional like the figure in The Four of Pentacles.